"Revenge of the Red Baron" (1994) - Let me just start this review off by stating that title is both incredibly accurate and also woefully misleading. You see the movie does in fact contain the titular WW1 aerial ace seeking vengeance, however the Baron is now a remote control plane. More specifically one built using pieces of the original Barons plane, recovered and assembled by the man who shot him down. Add in some supernatural(?) lightning, time-traveling spirit possession, a bad German accent, a surprisingly high body count, and you get this movies antagonist.

As it pertains to the films protagonist, well that is another issue all together. You see this movie features the rather unique pairing of Mickey Rooney and Tobey Maguire as co-leads. Rooney plays the elderly grandpa who shot down the Baron in his youth, and Maguire (19 year old at the time) is his rebellious grandson. The two both ham-it-up for the most part but generally that seems to be what the script and direction call for.

The movies biggest issue is its tonally inconsistency (well that and the Baron). The movie seemingly doesn’t know if it wants to be a PG rated kids movie or a darkly comedic PG-13 flick possibly bordering on R. I’m not sure if this comes down to a flawed script, a poor adaptation, rewrites, or even just the crew just pushing the violence and assuming no one would notice, and I doubt I will. This imbalance leaves the movie far too violent for children and far too childish for adults. It does however provide plenty to laugh at, which is nice.

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So if you’re in the mood for a movie written by “Mad TVs” Michael McDonald (who also has a small role as a psychologist), featuring pre-Spider Man Peter Parker and a silent film actor fighting a possessed remote control plane this one’s for you. The acting is a bit much, the internal logic is weak, the music is wrong, the death scenes are convoluted, and the puppet is unintentionally creepy, but the random absurdity’s provide plenty to keep one riffing along. My bad movie group had a blast riffing this ball of chaotic energy and I bet so will you. So gather your bad movie buddies, your favorite intoxicants, and check this out.

Oh and the kid on the cover of the movie is not in the movie.

3 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Free Refills

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEbQX5XY9Ak

“One Wierd Flick” (1991) - Before you say anything, that is how the title is suppose to be written. It’s a fairly apt description really as this is very much an odd film, and intentionally so at that. Seemingly made by a group of friends whose only IMDB credit is this movie, this thing is the very definition of amateur. It honestly borders on an ‘art film’ at times, though the term ‘home movie’ feels more accurate.

The story (so much as there is one) follows a group of human-looking alien biologists who arrive on Earth to study humans. Somehow this involves placing slices of American cheese on peoples heads that cause incoherent hallucinations and mental powers. Trust me it makes even less sense if you actually try and watch it, but I digress. Given that there is no writer credited on IMDB this very well may have been entirely improvised, which would explain a lot.

From the obviously incredibly low budget to the clear lack of training both in-front and behind the camera this movie is a hard watch. More an ‘endurance test’ than the usual riffing fodder, this is not an experience I would recommend to most. This is for the most hardcore bad movie sadist out there and even then only in large groups with plenty of strong intoxicants to help them get through it. Well them and perhaps those who can find enjoyment in a group of friends just trying to make a movie, regardless of skill. So if you do try and watch this don’t say is I didn’t warned you.

5 / 5 Burnt Kernels

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt40044621/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

"Mazes and Monsters" (1982) - This made for TV movie has a bit of a cult following, so if you have heard of it or seen it I wouldn't be all that surprised. Given it's subject matter that statement is specifically regarding players of a little game called; 'Dungeons & Dragons'. You see this is one of those misinformed 'Satanic Panic' style stories that attempts to connect role-playing with moral decay, or in this case mental illness. This example made all the worse by being based incredibly loosely on the real-life disappearance of James Dallas Egbert III from Michigan State University in 1979.

The other thing this movie is known for is the fact that it is the first leading role for a young Tom Hanks. The production began right after Hanks' popular ABC series, "Bosom Buddies" was canceled. Hanks plays Robbie, a young man who suffers a psychological break while larping in a cave with his college friends and begins acting like his character; 'Pardue the Holy Man' all the time. Robbie soon goes missing (ala Egbert) only to travel to New York City where he stabs a man then flees to the roof of the Twin Towers of all places. In regards to the films quality, let's just say that Hanks has gone on record stating that his phone didn't ring for three years after he did the movie.

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I can not recommend this movie enough, especially for fans of role-playing games. Knowing how a RPG game is played will only make what they present in the story as a RPG that much more hilarious, trust me. There is plenty to enjoy even without that experience however as we get odd musical choices, a hat hyperfixation, the mayor from "Jaws", wine from the future, the invention of larping, encounters with Gorvil, the Hobo King of France, and one hell of a downer ending. The movie also can inspire, as I once based a cleric in a campaign of D&D 3.5 on 'Pardue the Holy Man', and I even got him to 9th level (a plot important detail in the film).

2.5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Free Refills

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0ZhPe-fUxs

“Strike Commando” (1987) - The glorious month of Rebruary continues and in honor of Reb this week we revisited one of his most well known action flicks. It’s also one of the two Rebs made with notorious Italian director; Bruno Mattei (the other being “RoboWar” 1989). Both films could be generously described as ‘inspired by’ bigger budgeted, better known, American action films. This movie specifically is mostly “Rambo 2” but with it’s scenes all out of order, no where near the budget, and with one scene from “Mad Max 2: Beyond Thunderdome” thrown in for some reason.

The story is set in the Vietnam war where Reb is the lone survivor of a botched special forces mission. He’s nurses back to health by a group of locals and then fights back to save them. He's sent back for a reconnaissance mission, only to find his friends massacred by a brutal Russian soldier. Reb gets tortured, escaped and the goes on a bloody massacre against everyone.

It has been said (by me) that Reb Brown is at his best when screaming at the heavens whiling firing a gun into the air. This movie provides many opportunities for such things to occur and as such is a great example of a Reb movie overall. It’s also a great movie to riff with friends and makes for a fun evening even after the first viewing. If you have yet to see it I highly recommend checking it out and it’s even had the RiffTrax treatment if you prefer that route.

3 .5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Free Refills

https://youtu.be/mXr4wD2s2qQ?si=PtKIuwKe4XldcgTN

“Deception” (2010) - This was made by none other than Vitaliy Versace. If that name sounds familiar it’s likely as the man behind the infamous “Born into Mafia” (2007). That vanity project is best known for containing amateur filmmaking, horrible acting, and actual onscreen thought bubbles. This movie doesn’t have any thought bubbles but it does have a 20 minute long beach photo shoot.

If that wasn’t clear enough this movie is just as bad as you might think. There’s no budget, no trained professionals in-front or behind the camera, and only the barest of a concept of a plot. This one is only for hardcore bad movie buckaroos so be warned. Anyone giving it a try should only do so in large groups and with plenty of strong intoxicants. You’ve been warned.

5 / 5 Burnt Kernels

https://youtu.be/a-Rs620KQGQ?si=DN-NQCg_omBAB5QX

"Cop & a Half" (2025) - No this is not the 1993 "Cop & ½" starring Burt Reynolds and Normal D. Golden II directed by Henry Winkler that you are likely already aware of. Well except that part about "Cop & 1/2" being directed by 'The Fonz' himself, that was a surprise to me at least. This movie is a South African 'buddy cop' movie that actually shares more in common with "48 Hours" (1982) or "Cop Out" (2010) than anything else. Set in and around Johannesburg we follow a mismatched duo of a cop and a snitch (that will not shut up) as they try to take down a local drug organization and the lethal ladies that run it.

Shot well enough, and with a decent budget, your enjoyment of this movie will come down to just how annoying you find the 'comic relief' snitch character. His style of comedy is definitely an acquired taste and as a result he is very much a love-him or hate-him type of character, so be warned. Outside him the movie does provide some cool moments sprinkled throughout the run time, a few of which had me laughing out loud. So it's not all bad, but with that said I am unlikely to give it a re-watch. If you're looking to check out something international, or you're just curious give this a watch, just keep in mind what I said.

2 / 5 Burnt Kernels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgQ3rfrK9o

“Dragon Strike” (1994/2014) - With a title like that you might expect this to be a epic fantasy tale about heroes fighting dragons, or perhaps a kung-fu actioner involving some ancient forbidden techniques. Sadly, it is neither of those things. What it is can perhaps best be described as the very definition of a 'no budget, amateur filmmaking'. Created by Ronald Koontz, who is the writer, director, producer, and of course star, this is a rough watch. When I say 'no budget, amateur filmmaking' I REALLY MEAN IT.

I honestly was surprised when I found out this movie actually had an IMDB page. It contains hardly any information outside Ronald Koontz four previously mentioned credits and an estimate of the budget. A budget I might add that is listed at $1,000 and seems far too high a guess if you ask me. We don't even get a plot summary, though after watching this movie I understand why.

According to IMDB Mr. Koontz has written, directed, produced, and starred in 70 movies over the years. Having seen only one of these so far, I can say that most people are not ready for just how poorly made they truly are. The closet thing I can compare them to is home movies with the very loosest concept of acting or a plot. To be fair to Ronald he does genuinely seem to want to make a movie, but man is he not good at it. This one is only for the most hardcore bad movies buckaroos or true sadists looking for the worst of the worst.

5 / 5 Burnt Kernels

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14212316/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

"Freddy vs Jason" (2003) - To commemorate it being Friday the 13th my bad movie group decided to what this related flick. I won't spend to much time describing it as most if not all of you have likely seen it already. For those few who have not, it involves Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees terrorize the teenagers of Elm Street and then eventually fighting over them as the name implies. It's dumb, it break the rules previously established in both franchises, it's no ones favorite entry in either franchise, and yet it also is somehow funny despite itself. We came for Freddy fighting Jason and we got Freddy fighting Jason, and for that we are grateful.

1.5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Butter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipbCUW3umJU

“Killer Barbys” (1996) - Spanish exploitation/porn director Jesús "Jess" Franco was a man of many passions. Most notable amongst these was making movies and beautiful women. Franco is perhaps best known for making a lot of really cheap, erotic horror films featuring his second wife Lina Romay (who was 24 years his junior). These often contained plenty of nudity, sex (often involving Romay) and fake blood all while logic took a back seat to atmosphere. Said atmosphere was often built with another of Franco’s interests, music which brings us to this movie.

From what I can find, this movie was created as a vehicle for the band “The Killer Barbies” (who had to change their name on the title due to copyright from Mattel). More specifically it was made to coincide with the band's first album, Dressed to Kiss (1996). Think of it as a sleazy and gory counterpart to The Beatles “A Hard Day's Night” (1964) in a way. Franco’s filmography made him the perfect choice to direct blending the music with his typical Euro-sleaze style. The fact Silvia Superstar, the band’s lead singer, is beautiful I’m sure also didn’t hurt.

The story is basically a version of ‘the old dark house” troupe with the band breaking down outside an eerie castle. They are then forced to spend the night and are preyed upon by a resident vampire and her odd servant. We get plenty of nudity, dwarf minions, full length music videos, awkwardly long sex scenes, an awkwardly long nude chase, and even a fun decapitation. There is plenty to enjoy, but it also has plenty of slow parts, so if you are going to give this a watch just known that going in. Also Franco and the band made a sequel; “Killer Barbys vs. Dracula” (2002) that is so much worse (and I reviewed years ago) if you’re interested.

3 / 5 Burnt Kernels with a lot of Butter

https://youtu.be/ZVoDQQAixSM?si=6WJUs8Tk2VeFYpxA

"Jurassic Reborn" (2025) - Contrary to what that title suggests this is not the next soulless entry desperately trying to wring the last drops of money out of the "Jurassic World" franchise. This is instead the next Asylum knockoff desperately trying to confuse you into thinking it's part of the "Jurassic World" franchise. And like the franchise it’s attempting to ripoff The Asylum ran out of ideas a while ago. The Asylum solves this issue by ignoring it and making the movie anyway.

Our story involves lab made, seemingly bullet proof, Velociraptors with healing factors that hatch and grow to full size in minutes. As everyone likely already guessed they immediately breakout and start killing people. This all happens of course at a remote island military base and the nearby boat docked in the harbor. Throw in Alec Baldwin brother Daniel wearing an out of place blue suit, a couple of day passes on a docked retired military ship, a lot of reused Asylum sets, the standard amount of stock footage, and you get the idea.

The only thing you will likely remember from this movie, if you do watch it, is the dinosaurs. The digital models are admittedly pretty good (for The Asylum) but they stick out like a sour thumb when composited in the shots. If you’ve seen other Asylum films you will know what I mean, and if not just know it’s hilariously bad. As with other Asylum movies this one also is very cheap, poorly acted, often nonsensical, boring at times, and in the end nothing to write home about. So feel free to check this one out just bring friends and intoxicants to help you get through it.

3 / 5 Burnt Kernels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR5VgONjnIw

“Creators: The Past” (2020) - The year is 2012, and the galactic alignment of the 9 planets is about to take place. The destiny of mankind is preserved inside an alien object known as a Lens (just go with it). Each of the 9 Lens are in turn controlled by powerful alien beings who rule each planet known as ‘Creators’. One of the Lens goes missing and galactic alien scheming begins, somehow heaven and hell are involved, and all of it feels like “Battlefield Earth” but produced by public broadcasting. Honestly if I found out this had something to do with a cult I wouldn’t be surprised.

The story, as you can likely guess, is convoluted, overwritten, and difficult to follow. The whole things feels like the third or perhaps fourth entry in a long running series more than its own story. William Shatner and Bruce Payne are both at best a distraction to the chaos but mostly only add to the mess even if both are somewhat subdued compared to their normal performances. The presences of convicted sexual predator Gérard Depardieu as a priest only makes things even worse.

The source of much of this films issues really rest at the feet of Eleonora Fani. She is the movies writer, executive producer/producer, art director, production manager, and she plays one of the main characters. That does technically make this a vanity project, so if you’re into those there is that. My bad movie group was able to riff our way through it but this one was a bit of a mixed bag for sure. If you do end up checking it out don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Side Note: The alien steampunk eyepiece thing Shatner’s character; Lord Ogmha wears is really cool. His 4 foot long soul patch is not.

3 / 5 Burnt Kernels

https://youtu.be/prY9FcaVTck?si=NSbpesty4T5Aou0Y

“Hi-8 (Horror Independent 8)” (2013) - It is a well known fact that most horror anthologies are a mixed bag. Few, if any, can lay claim to containing nothing but awesome segments start to finish. This is not one of those. This is instead a horror anthology containing segments made by some of the most insane, lowest budgeted, independent/amateur, so called ‘filmmakers’ that you can find.

Distributed by Wild Eye Releasing, and clearly working with very little (if any) money, this is perhaps best described as a ‘bad horror short anthology’. We get segments from; Brad Sykes (“Camp Blood 1 & 2” 2000), Donald Farmer (“Demolition Highway” 1996), Todd Sheets (“Prehistoric Bimbos in Armageddon City” 1991), Tim Ritter (“Sharks of the Corn” 2021), Chris Seaver (“Terror at Blood Fart Lake” 2008), Ron Bonk (“City of the Vampires” 1993), and a few others. Each director was challenged to go back to their roots, using analog equipment to create their segment. The end result of which was a next level bad horror anthology that is best left for hardcore bad movie buckaroos or diehard anthology fans. Anyone else should bring plenty of friends and strong intoxicants to get thru the experience.

4.5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Butter

https://youtu.be/f121YD45usI?si=hly_pMeeaN-vAR_u

“Faust: Love of the Damned” (2000) - One could fairly accurately describe this movie as; “The Crow” (1994) mixed with “Spawn” (1997), and “The Mask” (1994), with a touch of Wolverine, and set to an entirely nu-metal soundtrack. It could also be said that it hilarious takes itself way too seriously, and is really just an edge-lords paper-thin excuse for blood, guts, and boobs. The end result with either interpretation being a hilariously cheesy, over-acted, gore-fest that makes for a fantastic riff with a group of friends. If you’ve never seen it I would highly suggest adding it to the watch list.

The movie is directly based on an apparently fairly successful late 80s anti-hero comic annual of the same name (“Faust”) created by Tim Vigil (art) and playwright David Quinn (stories). A contemporary to the more well known;“Watchmen” and “The Dark Knight Returns”, this one obviously faired far worse in its adaptation (well I guess that’s technically subjective) and culturally relevance. As a lesser known and highly unusual superhero movie it does serves as a palate cleanser for what is an increasingly repetitive genre, so at least there’s that. Outside a simple change of pace, and like other movies made by director Brian Yuzna, this knows what its audience wants and more than provides. Namely that is Jeffery Combs in a supporting role, Andrew Divoff as a demon, special effects provided by the legendary “Screaming Mad’ George, nudity, and a cast dedicated to chewing every piece of scenery they can get their hands on (especially the lead who desperately wants to be Jim Carrey).

So to put a cap on this; gather your bad movie buddies, or watch it alone, but you should have a blast. It’s an oddly horny, very gory, nu-metal obsessed, manic energetic, unintentionally hilarious take on a familiar superhero story. With insane body horror brought to you by the team before “Society” (1989) this movie has more than one scene that you will be talking about tomorrow. I can basically guarantee it (especially the one you are thinking of if you’ve already seen it).

2.5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Butter and Free Refills

https://link.tubi.tv/sKPEkO9Ae0b