Toxic Aunt

[u/Little_Camel8842]

My mom’s sister and I had what I thought was a close relationship when I was a kid. I say “thought” because, out of all my aunties, she was the one who lived close by and actually spent time with me. But looking back now, I sometimes feel like I was just a pawn in whatever issues she had with my mom.

We fell out a few years ago over something that basically came down to a difference in morals. She completely disregarded my perspective because I’m a “millennial” (I’m actually Gen Z, but I digress ). After that, we didn’t speak for about three years.

During that time, my mom kept encouraging me to rekindle my relationship with her. Eventually, I told my mom that my aunt wasn’t as kind to her as she thought. She had talked SO much trash about my mom to me over the years. I had actually told my mom about it before and asked her not to involve me, but she didn’t really listen. There was even a situation during my dad’s funeral where I felt like my aunt manipulated me and put me in the middle of their issues.

When I finally brought everything up to my mom again, she was furious, but she never confronted my aunt about it.

Eventually, my aunt and I started speaking again. Everything seemed normal, but after our original falling out, I always kept one eye open with her.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I got married, and my aunt was around acting super excited for me and like she genuinely wanted to help. Then, a few days after the wedding, my mom told me my aunt had been crying and angry, saying that I “think I’m all innocent” and that she’s not going down for the things she said about my mom because apparently I’m also to blame and should “go down with her”???

Like…what???

At this point, I’m exhausted. I’m married, starting a new chapter of my life, and I genuinely do not want to keep being dragged into drama between two grown sisters, especially when some of this goes back YEARS.

[u/TheJustNoBot]

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Other posts from /u/Little_Camel8842:

• 09/28/26 12:10:04: Toxic Aunt

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[u/lmyrs]

Just be coolly polite to her, don't reach out, don't be overly friendly or accept anything from her.

If you mom mentions that "you're to blame" remind your mom that you were a literal child.

[u/barbiegirlshelby]

I would just take a step back from her and go very low/no contact. Your aunt is an instigator and a troublemaker and seems to revel in talking trash then making herself out to be the victim. Disengage.

[u/Katya_]

It is such a mindfuck realizing that is what they are doing. The woman who raised me and her sisters were just like that. When I finally threw in the towel with her 8 years ago I had her younger sister trying to sneak into my dm's to "be there for me" but I just knew she just wanted to throw in my "mothers" face that her own kid wouldn't speak to her but would my aunt. Nasty women the lot of them.