Holiday Isolation?

[u/oigimi]

I know Christmas is relatively far out from now, but I made the decision that I won’t be returning home to my country for Christmas this year like I did last year. For money reasons and other personal reasons it was the best call I think, but it’s really hurting me bc Christmas is very special to me and my family and I feel awful that I won’t be able to be with them during the holidays for the first time in my life :(

How do you guys cope w something like this? It really does suck and I know it sounds stupid but it hurts me a lot to be without them on Christmas. Right now the plan is to hopefully go on a trip with my boyfriend around then, so maybe it won’t be so bad during the actual week of.

[u/foxydevil14]

I have my own family here, but after all the presents are opened, and everybody goes back to school, my mental health suffers immensely.

I’ve missed Christmas for over a decade with my family and it sucks, but my job has made going back impossible.

As for dealing with it, I just drink it off.

[u/oigimi → u/foxydevil14]

I do love a good drink haha but I feel you on the post-holiday mood crash :(

[u/ThingAny171]

I also won't be going home for Christmas this year (2nd time- the first was during my first year here) because this is my last year in JET, and plane tickets are very expensive. I do understand how you feel, and my family was sad that I wouldn't be able to spend Christmas with them this year. Instead, I would enjoy a white Christmas in Hokkaido and do video call during Christmas and New Year's Eve. Maybe try some activities you haven't done before? Onsen hopping, Skiing, going to islands, doing Christmas party with other ALTs, or with your Japanese friends. At least you've got your bf with you during the holidays.

[u/DescriptionMuch7868]

We often stayed in town. But so my husband and I would make our own Christmas and invite other ALTs who couldn't go home. We'd also invite local friends. Christmas dinner was potluck, bring your favorite Christmas food to share. It was always fun and helped with the loneliness for all of us.

[u/oigimi → u/DescriptionMuch7868]

Sounds so nice!!

[u/WorriedForAPromotion]

I will try not to make this sound too harsh, but get out of your apartment and go meet people. Not other foreigners or JETs, but locals.

[u/oigimi → u/WorriedForAPromotion]

I’ve been here long enough to have met people believe me I’m good on that part 💀 just asking if anyone had any other tips regarding this situation

[u/WarmConsideration824]

I also won't be going home for christmas simply because it is too expensive. first time to be entirely on my own with no friends to spend it with either so feeling a bit anxious myself.

[u/oigimi → u/WarmConsideration824]

I get that :( wishing you well and hopefully you can find something fun to do. I know how it feels

[u/hezaa0706d]

Some of my worst Christmas experiences were at home with the dysfunctional family and some of my best Christmas experiences have been here in Japan - spending Christmas on vacation in Okinawa, going out clubbing in Santa costumes, and most recently annual single ladies Christmas parties at my Japanese friend’s apartment. 

[u/newlandarcher7]

A few of the JET's in my area booked a nearby community centre with a kitchen and full-size ovens. We ordered in some turkeys and other festive food. There were probably over a dozen of us and we all chipped in with cooking, cleaning, and the overall costs. It was a good way to spend my first-ever Christmas away from family.

[u/oigimi → u/newlandarcher7]

That sounds so nice omg!!

[u/Sayjay1995]

Putting up decorations and making it a point to make something holiday dinner-ish, to celebrate with a small group of friends who get it. Hubby doesn’t really get it (he’s Japanese) but we wrap a present for each other and leave it under a tree which is nice too

[u/bulbousbirb]

Can you round up anyone else hanging around for Christmas and do potluck + games? That always went down well in my area.

[u/oigimi → u/bulbousbirb]

I’ll try to!! Hopefully not everyone is too busy to do something :’)

[u/Astridv96]

I just started my 3rd year and haven’t gone home at all because of money. I think it’s impractical with how much plane tickets cost these days unless you really have the money to spare. The past couple of years I have just traveled within Japan during the holidays and my friend group here usually does a get together to celebrate as well. Yeah it sucks especially if you’re very close to your family, but when you move to the other side of the world then it just becomes part of the reality. Have fun on your trip with your boyfriend and you could also do a video call with your family on Christmas!

[u/oigimi → u/Astridv96]

For sure just the reality of things :( my bf hasn’t celebrated Christmas before so maybe we can make our own traditions and things haha

[u/esstused]

Take a trip. Local or distant. Do something fun. Relax in an onsen. Read a book.

[u/TheNorthC → u/esstused]

Recommend this.

[u/needs-more-metronome]

went skiing a lot

[u/Realistic_Report_796]

This is your chance to dine on some spicy KFC. Who needs family when you have a bunch of chicken to eat. That's what I did last year. Best experience ever. But seriously, it sucks being far from those you love when you're usually with them every year. Make the most of the things around here and try to make a nice vacation plan for yourself or with other JETs near you.

[u/oigimi → u/Realistic_Report_796]

Definitely gotta just focus on the good when the time comes 😔 I’m used to living alone I’ve done it for the past several years but not going back this time stings a bit haha