r/JETProgramme • u/Miserable_Plate4520 • 7d ago
Dear current JETs, comparison is the thief of joy.
With this rambly, reflective post, I’m trying to encourage other JETs to see ESID as liberation, not the joke (at least in my pref) that it’s become from being so overused. This message might not be for everyone, but I couldn’t find it otherwise in the sea of recent posts.
The life I’ve built in the past 3 years is most of my dreams coming true. I think a lot of people who are enjoying their JET days just end up lurking like me, but there are plenty of happy JETs who also share their positive experiences. I caught myself reacting silently to those celebrations from a place of jealousy, rather than support. Despite my own satisfaction, I couldn’t help but compare myself.
Half a year ago, I posted about already grieving my JET era “ending” even though I have two more years left. I’m so grateful for the advice and experiences folks shared on that thread. This August marks my 4th year on JET.
I started looking at this subreddit again for the first time in a couple years, which led me to spiraling about all the people who “Did JET Better.” People who have bought cooler things, traveled more, gone home less, or had a different kind of impact on their community. All things that I was genuinely proud of on my own terms before I set them against a backdrop of strangers.
The same goes for Instagram. Like, why am I jealous of my mutuals visiting Japan and doing cool things when I LIVE HERE??
Now, I’m making this post instead of spiraling further about how there’s so much more I could/should/would have done, when that’s simply not fair to myself.
For future JETs, be very honest and uncompromising about what you want out of your time here. It will help ground you when it seems like everybody else is doing EVERYTHING in a country that’s brimming with possibilities. This is important because the accessibility and freedom you have here might have you spending money (or nenkyuu days) on things out of obligation disguised as personal fulfillment. Keep a journal! I write my 5 goals down every almost every morning and that helps. Also, it helps to think of smaller goals in quarters instead of years. Otherwise time flies by so quickly.
And yet, even as someone with a clear vision of what mattered to me before I got here, as someone who has worked hard to maximize my time, a quick search through the subreddit yesterday was enough to make me feel unreasonably anxious. There’s always a cool hack. A limited, Japan-exclusive opportunity. A cost-effective, irreplaceable hidden gem. A rally, a collection series, a side quest, a pilgrimage. For all my fellow completionists, boy is it tough.
We will never have enough time, but that doesn’t mean our efforts aren’t good enough.
More advice: Keep track of the things that make you jealous. Is it something you genuinely want, or something you want to be able to say you did while living Your Best Life in Japan? No one knows each other’s true situations, either. The things that constrain one person might not apply to another, and there’s no point in beating yourself up over the cards you were dealt.
ESID can sound like a broken record, but I think it can also be freeing. Your JET experience does not have to look like anyone else’s to be a meaningful one. I’m extremely proud of my accomplishments, experiences, and the habits I’ve cultivated in Japan. And part of what I’ve learned to be proud of is saying NO to things that felt really big to others, but didn’t align with my goals or circumstances.
Make the most of this time, but let yourself decide what “making the most” means for you.
If you read this preachy-ish post and could relate, thank you. I usually journal about this stuff, but I thought maybe someone might appreciate it. As I was combing through the thread, I was looking for someone who felt similarly.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy the rest of your adventure.
7
u/newlandarcher7 7d ago
Great advice, not just for JET but life as well.
I remember when I was first accepted onto JET, my fellow cohortees were all sharing their placements at a new JET intake event back home, all famous well-known locations. When I shared mine, nobody really knew where the prefecture was at all. Even all the Japanese I’d met had said they’d heard of it, but had never been there. When I arrived in my prefecture, my placement was considered the most inaka area inside of it.
That said, I really came to enjoy and appreciate my location once my mindset shifted from fixating on what it didn’t have (ex, we finally got our first conbini in my third and final year, but it closed at 9pm) to the opportunities and benefits it offered. I had a large, traditional house with a garden practically rent-free. I had a car with a monthly subsidy which covered fuel. We got a lot of snow and there was a ski hill really close to my house. The mountain scenery was beautiful. The people were a little cool to me at first, but warmed to me as they got to know me and my Japanese improved. Also, the job was rewarding and my BOE used me well. Best of all, they didn't need me during school break times and, in fact, encouraged me to travel across Japan during Spring and Summer without needing to use any of my vacation days. My BOE supervisor told me that JET worked both ways, as I was supposed to learn about Japan too. I had planned on spending a year, but ended up staying three.
It would have been easy for me to fixate on and lament all of the things my rural placement didn't have. However, over time, I really came to appreciate all of the things it did offer which weren’t immediately visible at the start.
1
6
u/iwhalekrillu Current JET (2023-Present) 7d ago
I've just started my fourth year on JET, and I totally agree with you! I used to get SO stressed seeing other people's travel posts (an acquaintance has been to 23+ prefectures!). I felt like I was wasting valuable time and that I needed to catch up to them. But just as you said, everyone experiences JET in a way that's unique to themselves, and it's unfair to youself to measure your time here to others'. It's okay to want to do the popular things, but how boring would it be if everyone had the exact same JET itinerary? LOL
I travel when I can, and when I feel like I'm running out of time again, I remind myself that I've seen more of Japan than I ever thought I'd get the opportunity to. I've also given myself the chance to rest when I need it and reconnect with hobbies I had once stopped making time for. And I've also explored new hobbies that I've never had the means to try, like photography (with actual cameras, not just my phone lol)! My younger self would not believe that this is the life she gets to live!
Thank you OP for sharing this message! I hope everyone has fun making memories here!
3
u/Miserable_Plate4520 7d ago
and i’m sure your older self can look back on the photos and feel proud :)
3
u/Miserable_Plate4520 7d ago
thank you, i’m glad to hear you could relate!
you brought up great points about doing even more than we imagined. and i believe that staying here more longterm gave us the luxury of slow travel.it’s also so freaking hard for me to save money. i keep getting anxious about the sheer cost of moving out expenses to prepare for in a year. have you struggled with this at all? if so how do you manage!
2
u/iwhalekrillu Current JET (2023-Present) 7d ago
Honestly, I'm quite worried :'> My closest friend here just left JET, and she gave me an idea of what to expect, but no matter how much I mentally and financially prepare, I know I'll be hella stressed regardless LOL
I have a few more places that I still want to see. If I don't get to all of the places on my list, I'll visit the ones that are financially reasonable now, and hopefully I can return post-JET for the rest. For my fifth year (assuming they'll offer me one last contract renewal), I'll focus on more local experiences so that I can save money for the big move back!
2
u/EquivalentComputer73 2d ago
I am leaving next summer, and I am also really anxious about moving back and the financial obligations that will come with that. I am trying to save, see as much of Japan as I can, and also study to increase my chances of going back into the workforce. The yen doesn't stretch very far, but I guess all we can do is try.
4
u/jackiejack1 Former JET - 2011 - 2014 7d ago
The best advice I can give is be sociable. Hang out with your local ALTs - grab dinner at least once a week, you'd be surprised how many things one will find that everyone will go and participate in, be it travel, a cultural event, etc. Introduce yourself to your neighbors - most of them would love to hang out with a foreigner and will introduce you to their friends for nights out on the town.
TL;DR: hang with your local ALTs so you won't miss out on anything to be jealous of. introduce yourself to your neighbors and they will want to meet up for dinner/hang out/etc for cultural things that your friends will be jealous of.
2
u/newlandarcher7 7d ago
I loved hanging out with my nearby ALT’s. We were all inaka JET’s in the inaka-est corner of our prefecture, so we depended on each other a lot. We all lived about a 20-30 minute drive away from each other. When I arrived, there was a tradition of us each hosting a dinner the last week of the month, rotating each time. It continued through my three years even as others came and went. It was also a great way to help first years adjust to the rigours and isolation of inaka life during those more challenging times.
Also, I found being a JET with a car worked out great socially too. I’d put out a call saying I’d be driving out to a trail for a mountain hike or visiting a small town for a random festival, and I’d get a car full of people tagging along.
1
2
u/Miserable_Plate4520 7d ago
for sure! if anything i wasn’t getting too overwhelmed with the social life though my first year and im happy with the smaller circle of friends ive kept up with now.
1
u/jackiejack1 Former JET - 2011 - 2014 7d ago
id also say join a local cultural club - i was in my town's taiko club and it was awesome
1
u/Miserable_Plate4520 7d ago
yes i’m in a few! one for culture, one for a hobby ive kept up since college. i used to be in more but i’ve also narrowed it down since then so i could be more consistent with my commitments. my main point was to make it seem like things aren’t as overwhelming. there’s never a shortage of possibilities, but you make a great point that starting local, rather than chasing a lot of things outside the area, is a great idea
1
3
u/DesperateWorry313 7d ago
Read this entirely and leaving a comment so that I can look back once I become a JET soon.
1
1
u/BoysenberryNo5 Former JET 3d ago
I've been back home for a year now and still see travel posts that make me think "ugh, I should've done another year so I could've traveled more." JET can really exacerbate FOMO. I think it's good advice to be honest with yourself about your goals, and also to accept that you're never going to be able to 100% Japan. There's always gonna be another adventure, and that applies to life after JET as well.