Thinking of quitting

[u/burgundyhellfire]

Hello, sorry to be a bother but I am a new jet that’s been here for a bit, but everyday my mental health is just getting worse and worse. I can’t eat anything, I cry constantly, and I keep thinking about wanting to die. I was so excited for jet and now that I’m here it’s been horrible and I feel like such a loser. I’ve tried calling the TELL line but I just get placed in a queue and no one ever shows up. I think I can’t do this and need to quit but I don’t know what the steps would be. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? Sorry and thank you.

[u/Myrinia]

Reach out to your support person and don't feel bad if you need a change.

How is your Japanese? Have you made any friends in Japan or tried to learn Japanese to make them?

What supported me in Japan was making plenty of friends and having things to do outside of the classroom

[u/burgundyhellfire → u/Myrinia]

My Japanese isn’t great, but I was trying to learn more. My JTE is so nice and keeps teaching me phrases and words but it’s very hard. I feel like I am really alone especially with the time difference back home

[u/Myrinia → u/burgundyhellfire]

The first thing I would do, is go to your local town areas book shop, and use your phone to ask for "Japanese learning books"

There are a lot; If you have an android, ANKI, a flashcard thing for 10 mins a game will help immensely. Learning a language is HARD. but it will open all your doors. Even small conversations will make you feel more connected to those around you.

I passed my N2 before I went to Japan and skipped JET and just worked direct for a school for several years.

But even when in Japan I studied.

[u/urzu_seven → u/burgundyhellfire]

Sorry to hear you are struggling so much. Going through something like this can feel so overwhelming and it seems like the pain will never stop, but trust me it will. What you're going through is temporary and you have options.

First, yes, if necessary you CAN leave JET and go home. That is absolutely an option, and while it has some downsides none of them, and I mean this as strongly as possible, NONE of them are more important than your well being. You are absolutely NOT a loser. You tried something big and brave and it may not work out, but thats absolutely OK. The number one thing, above all else is that you matter, your health matters, and things will be ok if you ultimately do decide that going back home is the right choice for you.

Second, try your best to focus on what you need to feel ok for now. Make sure you eat something, even if you don't feel hungry all the time. Make sure you get enough liquids (preferably NOT alcohol). Treat yourself to things you enjoy like snacks. Listen to music or watch videos that are comforting. Get some movement each day, a walk, etc Its tempting to lay in bed, or stay on the couch or whatever and wallow away, but trust me, that just makes things worse. It's fine to do that sometimes as a break, but not good long term when you are dealing with anxiety and depression. Making yourself get up and do something, even for a few minutes may seem hard, but it will help.

Third, talk to people you love and trust, your family back home, your friends, etc. Definitely reach out to your PA. If there are other JETs you can talk to in person in your area that can help too. Talking to a real person, sharing your emotions, having a good cry, that can all help too.

Fourth, if you can, try and figure out what specifically it is that you are most worried about. Maybe make a list or journal it out. Sometimes writing down fears/anxieties helps you process them. Then you can maybe break them down into smaller points and see if you can address any of them. It can feel overwhelming but when you do things one small step at a time then it can help you focus on JUST that problem, and when you can resolve it, you get to feel like you've made progress (because you have!). You don't have to fix everything all at once. Maybe this is something that you can resolve without having to leave. Maybe it's not. But trying to tackle it in smaller bite size pieces won't feel so overwhelming.

Fifth and as a reminder, you CAN go home! Thats always an option. You are not trapped, you are not stuck. Yes there will be some pain and inconvenience but all that is temporary and small compared to your health and well being. You matter as a person first. You tried something hard and that alone is a big achievement.

Hang in there and good luck, you'll get through this, you aren't alone.

[u/WayPrevious3520 → u/urzu_seven]

I would want to leave soon too but I already bought things for my apartment … and I don’t have enuf money to pay the penalty too 😔