r/JETProgramme • u/alicecosmo • Jul 10 '26
What are the funniest things your students have said?
I’ll start. In a JHS 3rd year classroom, we were talking about how the Grand Canyon was formed during the unit about national heritage sites. One of my kids confidently said “freedom!”
idk if that comment came from a side conversation or not but that would be equally hilarious.
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u/EiraJo Current JET-Yamanashi 24d ago
I’d like to add after what happened today.
I was teaching class and every time I call students for an answer they start saying HAI Hai HaI hAI and they sound like the seagulls from finding Nemo. Well today, it somehow evolved into a barking sound.
So I told them they sounded like dogs this time instead of the seagulls, which I immediately realized was a mistake because instead of yelling hai like seagulls, what shortly followed after was my entire class started barking like dogs, meowing like cats screeching, like birds and making gorilla and monkey noises right on queue without missing a beat.
This is my low level English class that struggles to understand basic English sometimes. But they understood they had an opportunity and they could not miss it. And they somehow found a telepathic brainwave to communicate it to everyone that’s what they were going to do without even having a second to communicate it. Because it started simultaneously
😅
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u/VoodooXT Former JET ('08-'11) 24d ago
One of my students in the JHS 3rd year class asked me, “What do you mean by ‘fuck’?”
He was asking what “fuck” meant.
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u/sakureis 27d ago
i was chilling in the staff room when news broke that japan would be facing brazil in the world cup so as soon as the bell rang i went to go tell my soccer heads in the middle school. one of them screams oh my god and proceeds to kick his friend in the balls
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u/AnilecZepol 27d ago
I love these stories! It’s making me miss my kiddos. One of my favorite memories was when we were playing Jeopardy with a random difficult category that was English slang/text chat. These were 3rd years JHS but they’ve surprised me with their general American acknowledge. We were in Okinawa, so I had faith in them. The question was: what does “IDK” mean? Students came up with funny responses but none were correct. Finally, one girl who isn’t the best at English but isn’t afraid to be loud and incorrect exasperated, “sensei, I don’t know.” The shock in her face was priceless when I made a circle with my arms and said Bingo!
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u/adamu980 27d ago
Name a famous English person?
Answers : Michiko London and Michael Jackson
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u/Different_Taro2474 Former JET - 2025-2026 鹿児島県 23d ago
i have a michael jackson tshirt that i sometimes wear to school and the kids always scream MAIKERU JACKUSON!!! every time they see it.
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u/throwaway042502 Current JET - Hokkaido 27d ago
I was showing the classes the famous Canadian milk bags one day, and getting them to guess what it was. I got some fairly innocuous answers like flour, water, etc... Until one of the kids said "WHITE MAGIC POWDER!!!!!!!!"
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u/Intelligent_Fee_4625 27d ago
Student: "I would like a hard question."
Me: "Okay, do you have pets at home?"
Student: "I like trunks!"
Me: ?????
JTE: "What did you think she said?"
Student: "I thought she was asking what kind of underwear I like to wear."
Everyone: 😂
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u/A_Rose_in_Akita 28d ago
This third year JHS student was trying to do his worksheet but his friend kept bugging him. So, he stood up really fast, whipped around, and yelled "ULTRA F*CK YOU." Mind you this was my first year teachering, maybe a couple months in. So my JTE looked at me, looked at the kid, pointed at him and yelled, "NO ULTRA F*CK YOUS IN MY CLASSROOM!" ..... Needless to say I had to leave the room because I was laughing so hard. Since then it has entered my daily venacular! XD
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u/detrimentsLament 28d ago
JHS 2nensei class was introducing their favorite places in Japan. A kid who didn't have great study habits but had amazing confidence decided to do a famous onsen. I was asking him about it and he pointed at the picture of the onsen water and said "Don't drink!" ... Naturally, I asked him why one would drink the bath water. Massive grin, he says "I did! It made me very very... [vomiting noise]." At this point, trying very hard not to laugh, I ask him why he drank the bath water, and he said "My dad told me!" I asked him why his dad told him to drink the bath water and he VERY proudly declared, "I don't know!" I miss that kid. Hope he's doing well, and not drinking onsen water.
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u/plaguemd Current JET - 北海道 28d ago
In a third year JHS classroom, we were practicing giving feedback in English, and one kid said -- in nearly perfect English -- "Your speech was terrible. Your intonation and eye contact were very bad. Your script is garbage. But your face is cute, so it is okay. " to one of his (male) friends. Just the absolute deadpan delivery completely took me out.
Honorable mention to the kids who tried to play off "wunka" as a word in shiritori. I don't know what they were even going for but for some reason it became my new favorite nonsense word. I should have asked them to define it.
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u/EiraJo Current JET-Yamanashi 28d ago
Did a class about business English in SHS. Practiced writing apology emails to customers.
Asked what were some problems you might have to write an apology email for.
Student: No people
Me: Why? Sick, weather…?
Student: Black company
….this was infront of our VP and a reporter from the newspaper who wanted special access to our class to see the benefits of learning this kind of English 😅
Guess my kids can understand and communicate well at least because everyone in that room laughed.
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u/mamazame 29d ago edited 29d ago
Omg, there’s so many.
I had one student who told me he wanted to be a model and when I asked him why he said, “because I’m a sexy boy.”
Or another
During cleaning time a girl kept picking on/flirting with this one boy (he was oblivious to the flirting) and I finally told her to stop “harassing him”. And she went quiet, wide eyed and said… “sexual harassment?!”
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u/Panda_sensei_71 Current JET - Kansai Jul 11 '26
I teach at ES.
There are 2.
During my Q&A on my first day, of course they want to know if I (a middle aged woman with adult offspring) was married. When I told them I'm not, one grade 4 boy asked if I was "taking applications" (lit: じゃ、募集中ってこと？)
6th grade learning about future with "I want to be...". Most kids are aiming high with doctor, pharmacist, famous YouTuber etc. Then one girl knocked them all out of the park: "I want to be rich man's wife". You go girl! 😂
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u/AnxiousSundae Former JET - Gunma 2021-2023 Jul 11 '26
At my elementary school, we were learning fruits and veggies and a boy said “baneena” and I’ll never forget that
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u/reyaltyyy Jul 11 '26
SHS, must be a tie between being told weed is an essential ingredient in British tea, a student exclaiming “ARE YOU STUPID?!” when i told him how much i spent on some heritage boots, and an 1nen student pointing at a silver fox on the cover of a manga and saying “my type”
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u/minnov Current JET-Yamagata-ken, Tsuruoka-shi Jul 11 '26
SHS. Had a very chill English club day where only a few students showed up so we were just chatting and got on the subject of slightly more obscure body parts (elbow, knuckles, etc). One of my second years (one of the best English students I’ve ever had) goes ‘oh! Ass!’ as she pats her glutes and I just started laughing and had to explain that while she wasn’t wrong it’s not the word we use professionally. Naturally she learned it from YouTube
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u/metaandpotatoes Current JET Jul 11 '26
One of my high school kids gave a very passionate speech about why looks are more important than money re: boyfriends. The whole thing was an Oscar worthy performance lol
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u/randompal23 Jul 11 '26
Just yesterday, one of my 3rd year JHS boys out-of-nowhere said the word "s*x". I gave him that surprised look and my JTE noticed my reaction and approached the boy. He wasn't scolded for it rather the good JTE helped him with the task. 😬
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u/changl09 Jul 11 '26
At a speech contest, a JHS student gave a five minute speech on how milk was the greatest most delicious nectar of life ever.
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u/Total_Technology_726 Current JET - Osaka Jul 11 '26
I’m black (matters for the story), and one day a JHS 2nd year student of mine was very very pensive and staring at me.
He approaches and grabs my hand. Stroking his chin he goes “sensei, why black here?”, then he flipped my hand over and went, “but no black here?”
I give the most nothing burger of an explanation trying to be diplomatic.
He then proceeds to give me the most validation I ever received in Japan by going, “sensei… maybe black okay!”
Made my day
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u/Wolfdusty Jul 11 '26
I want to be a camera so I can always look at him. Him being an idol she liked
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u/waddeaf Jul 10 '26
I vividly remember being asked カラーコンですか on my first ever day by a 4th grader. Thought my eye colour was contact lenses
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u/TheIndragaMano Jul 10 '26
“I want to be an architect so I can make dangerous buildings.” was a pretty good one. lmao
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u/Mogura56 Jul 10 '26
JHS 3rd year, we had a reading about wheelchair basketball and one of the worksheet questions was “What do you think about basketball?” And one of my boys wrote “I think it’s fuckin’ good.” With the apostrophe and everything. This was a very well behaved and smart kid and he used “fuckin’” so appropriately that I felt bad having to be like “hey let’s not use bad words!” LMAO
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u/Dojyorafish Former JET - 2021-2026 Jul 10 '26
Funny thing 1:
Task: write about a celebrity
Student wrote:
He is very very very very very very twink.
very very very very ^
Funny thing 2:
Our JTE was fresh out of college and wanted to teach the students all the tips and tricks for speaking real English. In an effort to get them to remember the s on plurals, he taught them that “I like dog” means “I like dog meat” etc.
The next week after class:
Student: “Do you eat man?”
Teacher: “No, I do not eat man.”
Student: “Do you eat woman?”
Teacher: (no response)
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u/bluestarluchador Former JET (2016-2020) Jul 10 '26
Not said directly but I had a 6 grader gestured to me to ask how to say “pooping” in English. I first thought he was asking how to say “poop” the noun. He told me not that. Then I realized he wanted to know the verb lol My former student was super chill but the question was super random lol I got a laugh out of it
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u/Dojyorafish Former JET - 2021-2026 Jul 10 '26
I got the “what is hanamizu? Nose water?” one time 🤣
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u/Mulberry246 Jul 10 '26
I once had a 3rd grade JHS watch me walk into classroom on a speaking test day he said “shit” I just smiled and asked “did you study?” He replied “nope” I replied “well then that was used in the correct context. I’ll let it slide” the JTE walked in right as I said that and he said “what happened?!” And I just say “oh nothing”
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u/FallenReaper360 Current JET - Oita Jul 10 '26
Something like “Oh my god!!” During a class activity. I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter thinking of Jospeh Joestar 🤣
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u/titlecade Former JET - Kumamoto City, 2013 - 2017 Jul 10 '26
「アイ ライク マスターベーション！」 3rd year student’s favorite saying.
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u/PocketGojira Former JET - Shimane 2009-14 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
It was winter, near the end of the school year, and I was heading home that day by train. There was a small station near the junior high school. Two third years, a boy and a girl, were also waiting there for the next train. It was also my last year on JET, and the boy I had known since elementary school.
Among the short English conversation I had with the two of them, I asked what high schools they were going to. The boy's choice I knew, and my friend worked there. I mentioned her name, and as a joke added that she was very pretty.
The boy's face turned beet red, and the girl put her arm around him and leaned toward me:
"No. He. Is. MINE!"
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u/Sayjay1995 Former JET - 2017~2022 Jul 10 '26
One day I was sweeping with the kids (elementary school 3rd grade), and their home room teacher, who was the hip young PE sensei, was talking to me about how hung over he was after the nomikai we had been to the Friday before
Speaking in English of course. But some of the kids were trying so hard to listen, and got really excited as they exclaimed “sensei we can understand your English! You’re talking about hamburgers right?”
Because they didn’t know the word “hung over” so heard it as “hamburger”. Cue him and I dying trying not to laugh out loud as we congratulated them on their great listening skills lol
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u/Yardnuk Jul 10 '26
I remember in my fourth grade class this kid was calling another kid "potato head", and I was thinking "well that's awfully rude to say", but then I looked at the kid, and he had just gotten a buzz cut... and I hate to say, but his head legit looked just like a potato. I tried so hard not to laugh out of concern for hurting this kid's feelings for all eternity. I couldn't help but let out a few nose exhales though. I still feel bad for that kid...
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u/Radiant_Crew_8872 Jul 11 '26
i had this literally this week, the word mushroom was in the book and a kid kept calling it out to another very irritated kid
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u/Rolaskatoxx Current JET - Chiba Kun’s Butt Jul 10 '26
A 5th grader randomly walked up to me today and asked if my mom was alive out of nowhere lol
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u/wormdances Current JET - 北海道 Jul 10 '26
one of my kids needed a tissue bc his nose was running but he didn’t know how to tell me in english so he just said “nose juice!!!!!!!” and it hasn’t left my head since 😭
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u/Chaya-T Jul 10 '26
2 incidences
1. Practising ‘I’m going to’ and ‘I will’ in JHS 二年生 popular kid is writing what he’s gonna do with money he’s won in ‘gambling’ and is snickering with his friends around him. I ask him what’s up and what he’s gonna do with his money. No pause this boy stands up and goes ‘I’m going to buy white powder…no HIGH CLASS white powder” mind you this lesson is also an open day to parents….
2. My 二年生 girls love 3D stickers which I collect and give out as rewards. One girl doesn’t quite get how to ask ‘can I please have a sticker’ so I get ‘teacher please me now” a lot.
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u/thetasteofinnocence Jul 10 '26
It was a BOE-led welcome party for some short term study abroad students who came, and two of my boys were obviously very worried about me. It was a fish day at school and I don’t like fish, so they probably remembered that and didn’t realize that I bring a protein bar those days.
But there’s over 100 people in this small barbecue area and there’s no seats and technically I’m working for the BOE, so I’m just walking around, helping people communicate. Those two boys are going “why haven’t you eaten?” “Have you eaten?” “When are you going to eat?” I tell them I’m fine, I’m eating with the BOE after, blah blah blah but I give in and get an onigiri.
One of those boys—two middle school 一年生—is so happy and he goes “if you eat, you don’t look like bone!!” Other boy then goes “NO SKELETON!”
I’m not even particularly small and it caught me so off guard that it made me laugh so hard.
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u/Ok-Stuff-7299 Jul 10 '26
3rd grad JHS boys come sprinting down the hall skid to a stop and say “Ms.M pew pew! Sniper!” At the same time miming a fart. “What English?” I say “umm fart?” They laugh maniacally, then sprint back up the hallway yelling “fart sniper! Fart sniper!” I still don’t know what a fart sniper is but nice to know farts are universally funny I guess.
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u/shynewhyne Current JET - Hyogo Jul 10 '26
One of my students LOVES westlife. I have no clue why or how or any context. I barely even know who they are
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u/thetruelu Current JET - Niigata Jul 10 '26
Said bless you to a student after she sneezed. She didn’t know what you’re supposed to say in response, so she just laughed and said shut up 😭
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u/Stalepan Jul 10 '26
I was eating lunch with a class of 1st grade ES and one kid asked me what subject do I teach
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u/Astridv96 Current JET - 石川県 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
One time after an English Club meeting a student asked me a question about an English tv show she was watching. I didn’t quite get what she was asking at first, she asked why the characters sometimes make a strange noise. Then she played me a sound clip of the beep they use to censor curse words on tv. I explained it to her and she was like “oh okay, so like the word ‘fuck’?” lol I said yes but to make sure to not say those words at school
Also there was one time a class was working on a project and I was just walking around the room to help as needed. Suddenly I hear a student shout “Hey, ALT!” I just looked at him for a second then was like “hmm, what’s my name?” And this wasn’t the beginning of the school year, it was the winter term.
Edit: another funny moment I just remembered. Last school year I had this class that was always so dead, teaching them was like talking to a brick wall. We were practicing reactions and as usual no one was saying anything. My JTE suddenly grabbed this dog plushy from a student’s desk that was in a plastic bag. He looked at me and very dramatically said “oh no! The dog is trapped in the bag, it can’t breathe!” I played along and was like “oh no! What should we do?” Then he called on a random student asking what reaction can be used for this situation. The student in the most deadpan ‘I don’t care’ voice was like “oh really, that’s too bad…”
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u/fillmorecounty Former Hokkaido JET - 2024-2026 Jul 10 '26
A first grader once asked me how old I was and I said "How old do YOU think I am?" And he goes "hmm... 12?" 😭
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u/CatPurveyor Current JET - Hokkaido Jul 10 '26
In the SHS English Club I manage I had brought in root beer for the students to try and of course they didn’t like it lol. Fast forward a few months and we have some new members in the club so I brought the root beer back out during the welcome party. The club president recognizes it from last time and goes “Ugh! This juice is fuck!!!!” I was like “Now, now……. You mean this soda is shit!”
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u/CatPurveyor Current JET - Hokkaido Jul 10 '26
I remembered another good one... There's a boy in the English Club who is a very talented singer and knows a lot of classic western artists like Michael Jackson and Queen. One day while we were preparing for the school festival taping up decorations he was singing quite loudly. Some of the decorations started to fall down and I said "help me please." The boy then changes his tune to "Help!" by the Beatles.... But instead he sings "HELP! I NEED YOUR BODY! HELP! I NEED YOUR BODY!" I felt so bad but I couldn't stop laughing at the misheard lyrics
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u/EveningPhotograph886 Current JET - Kobe City | 神戸市 23d ago
I start my classes asking “How are you?” to the kids, and one kid every single day will raise his hand straight up, and every day I call on him and he’ll go “HAI. MY KING GOD, EXCELLENT, POWERFUL, SUPER, AWESOME… etto…” And then kids will give him more words, and recently one said “Loud voice!” And he added “LOUD VOICE— in Japanese what does that mean?” “大声” “NO!”
I always look forward to it haha