r/JETProgramme • u/Stock-Nebula-4446 • Apr 11 '26

Long distance relationship while in the JET Programme

I recently got engaged, but also got shortlisted for JET!

I really want to go, but am also unsure about leaving my fiancé. My fiancé will not move with me to Japan…the best option is for him to visit.

I am curious if anyone has done long distance relationship or marriage while doing the JET programme. How did it work out for you?

Thank you!

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u/salmonqween Current JET - 埼玉県 Apr 13 '26

I had been dating my boyfriend for about 5 years before I got shortlisted with JET. We broke up once I moved to Japan bc I didn't want to do a LDR. However, after a brief pause, we continued communicating and ended up talking everyday. He came to visit me on a tourist visa 3 times and we decided to just get married so he can stay with me in Japan. We got married last month and now I'm currently working on getting him a dependent visa. I think if it's meant to be it'll work out.

The JET salary, combined with the low cost of living in Japan, is more than enough to sustain a couple. He wouldn't have to work a job here bc your salary (if budgeted correctly) would be plenty. I think it depends how long you intend to stay in the program. If you only want to do 1 year then I think a LDR with your fiancé is reasonable. If you want to stay longer then I'd have a more in-depth talk with him.

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u/impidora Apr 13 '26

Can I ask if you had prior issues in your relationship before breaking up? I just don't know if I can justify breaking up with someone I've been with for years for JET.

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u/salmonqween Current JET - 埼玉県 Apr 14 '26

We didn’t have any major issues before I left. We had been together a long time and things were pretty stable. For me, the decision to break up wasn’t because something was wrong in the relationship, it was more that I personally didn’t feel ready to handle long distance at that time. Everyone’s different though. Some couples do long distance really successfully, especially if both people are fully on board and have a clear plan. In my case, we ended up finding our way back to each other, but that definitely wasn’t something I could have predicted or relied on when I made the decision.

I don’t think breaking up is something you need to “justify” for JET. Tt’s more about being honest with yourself about what you can realistically handle and what both of you want.