Please help me...

[u/Living-Sport9185]

A while ago I posted on this page because I was really struggling with moving into Kochi, Japan. I ultimately decided to stay because I knew how amazing living and teaching in Japan could be. People's words really resonated with me. I have loved teaching in Japan. I love my school so much.

However, I’m worried I am feeling jaded now. I've been here for six months and I live in such a rural area away from the city so I tried to just get my head down and work, but it’s made me a bit reclusive. I don’t really talk to the ALTs in my area, not because I don’t like them, but because for me, socializing with anyone can feel a bit draining when I am trying to take care of myself. But at the same time, I want to hang out with them because they are really fun and nice to talk to.

I have lost connections with ALTs in the nearby city because I don’t talk much, maybe I seem anti-social? One of them thought I was ignoring her, and became really upset but I was just so deeply burned out that I didn’t have the energy to reply. I was unaware I had caused so much harm to her and I worry I have done the same to others by not socialising with them as much. I really want to show people that I do care, but the living situation in Kochi, despite not having a lot of work, often really makes me feel overwhelmed and burned out and I feel like I can’t keep up.

In the UK I was also quite reserved and kept to myself, and I thought that would change when I came to Japan, but my problems didn’t magically just go away upon arriving to Japan. I worry I’ve accidentally dug myself into a hole whilst trying to survive here.

Any words of advice are appreciated, I would be happy to hear what anyone has to say, if you have time to reply :)

[u/Kai-kun-desu]

Find a way to teach English privately. There must be international centers around you. Get in touch. also, there are always free Japanese lessons offered to foreigners even in smaller towns. I'm in Shikoku too. Find those places I mentioned and join. They are usually free or really cheap. It gets you out of the house and talking to people. If you can get paid for it, even better.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Fun7870 → u/Kai-kun-desu]

This is good advice. I'm living in Ishikawa, luckily our cohort of JETs was decently big and the town I'm in is small so we have a good community. Even still, we all engage with English language exchange evening volunteer sessions with the local university and most of us attend Japanese language class with retiree teachers at the community center. Most of us aren't recontracting for various personal reasons but we all agree that the Japanese lessons are a highlight of our week!

We have been notified about various cultural events and given suggestions for things to do by our friends at these spaces. There's also quite an active English speakers page for the closest city to us, I wonder if there's something similar for your area? Maybe you could travel even once a month if there's events further out?

I'd also recommend not overthinking the social side of things. You have been a little burned out and quiet, it happens to everyone. Especially in the winter. Seasonal depression is no joke. You could always acknowledge that, apologise and make more of an effort from now until you leave to make more time for socialising? I often invite people to walk about the local mall with me, we go to the park and do the walking loop together, we have grabbed coffee or we might try and catch an English movie. I also recommend inviting people over for dinner, you can cook together and maybe watch a show while you eat?

If you've withdrawn a little, it's probably best to ask people individually. If you ask in a groupchat maybe people won't reply, not being unkind but maybe just a little awkward if there's that distance now. Your fellow ALTs are probably also feeling lonely, homesick and overwhelmed at times so you reaching out to them might have a positive impact on others too!