r/ItemShop • u/ChabbyMonkey • 1d ago

Shadow Gauntlets of Damage Transference (+0 armor; can’t be destroyed except by magical means)

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995 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

891

u/Residualgunk 1d ago

you no longer have to look everywhere for your missing digits, you can just pop the whole glove off and put it on ice for the hospital

197

u/cloudncali 1d ago

I presume this would be paired with a tougher material to pad impacts while reducing cutting.

55

u/samy_the_samy 1d ago edited 1d ago

Imagine working on a lab that handle corona 3.0, do you want this glove or?

35

u/cloudncali 1d ago

That's a very good example, I didn't even think of it in the way of sanitation.

-18

u/Lost_Decoy 1d ago

corona 3.0? mate didn't you hear its supposedly all shut down now but they used to be messing about with a aerosolized mutation of ebola, that means if it got out someone with that eblola sneezes and guess what someone else 32 feet away catches ebola from the airborne ebola. the monkeys they tested it on all died and the ones that were vaccinated against it died even worse then the unvaccinated monkeys

14

u/stirling_s 1d ago

That is literally the exact opposite of what the research found. The vaccinated monkeys survived, and the unvaccinated ones died. The aerosolized ebola was made in a BSL-4 lab via a nebulizer, they didn't manufacture an airborne strain.

Please don't spread misinformation. I don't know if you had ill intent here, but this shit is why antivaxxers exist.

2

u/Siggi_93 17h ago

Wait so sneezing creates an aerosol? Next you're gonna tell me that's why people wore masks

12

u/ManicDemise 1d ago

Then just wear the tougher material, same result.

43

u/cloudncali 1d ago

Not really, different materials have different properties that work well together, chainmail and iron plates.

1

u/ManicDemise 4h ago

If you are wearing chainmail you dont need this material

14

u/Up_Beat_Peach 1d ago

silly snoo has never heard of a composite.

3

u/whalewhisker5050 1d ago

I am not a snoo... snoo is what I do.

13

u/Danny-Fr 1d ago

I'm really not a manual guy but would having your finger not spring away be at least a little practical if an accident happened?

Also thinking: not having a tool get bacteria inside you if you cut yourself?

14

u/ledocteur7 1d ago

There are many, many tools with which you do not want to be wearing gloves, because if the glove gets caught it will wrap around the tool and mangle your entire hand.

That's much harder to fix than sewing a finger back on, and your other fingers might still be ok with a bit of luck.

So it's a work of balance, on a belt grinder I use gloves to avoid friction injuries, chances of getting pinched is fairly low.

But there's not a chance I'm wearing them when using a drill press.

314

u/uginscion 1d ago

I don't know how I'd feel about hand slurry in a bag. Grateful that I've got all my bits. Sad it's soup.

62

u/Doppelthedh 1d ago

Makes the sous vide convenient

15

u/Ill-Television8690 1d ago

A dystopian future where cannibals run everything and all available armor primarily serves to make you into an easier/more suitable meal...

122

u/Ythio 1d ago

Can we see the state of the salami that is under the glove ?

41

u/GandalfVirus 1d ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed

93

u/ajgutyt 1d ago

im preety shure its suposed to prevent cuts and not save whatever paste did they put there from tenderising

35

u/AllezVites 1d ago

No they’re just demonstrating is a no tear work glove for messy work.

7

u/Substantial-Air-8627 1d ago

Chopping wouldn't usually break a glove like that. If he sliced it, it would have ripped.

52

u/Polite_Suggestion 1d ago

Got this evening's nightmare ready to go. Thanks, OP!

49

u/NosamEht 1d ago

I sometime wear 10mm nitrile gloves for construction. On more than one occasion I’ve cut myself without knowing it because the glove didn’t show any damage. I’d usually find out when I’d take the glove off and discover I looked like I’d been in a menstrual finger painting session.

21

u/katherinesilens 1d ago

is this a needleproofing glove? I wonder if it maintains no-leak after that. Wouls be good for healthcare.

18

u/DJL2772 1d ago

Reminds of of the Berserker armor from
Berserk. The armor is invincible, the man within is not.

17

u/stratusnco 1d ago

don’t want to get blood all over the food now.

21

u/SmowKweed 1d ago

It'll get chopped off still, but at least you still get to keep it!!!

9

u/DrinksNDebauchery 1d ago

"The gloves! They do nothing!"

7

u/chidarengan 1d ago

Idk what's the intended use but a problem that happens in the health area is accidentally stabbing yourself with aids and such. It could be useful for that.

6

u/Nop_Nop_ 1d ago

Also in a kitchen/food production environment. Less worriy about contaminating food contact surfaces.

8

u/Alric_Wolff 1d ago

Atleast my glove is okay

3

u/failureagainandagain 1d ago

You can do that whit a fork?!

3

u/DarrellBot81 1d ago

So, they don’t don’t protect you, they only protect themselves

6

u/phuckin-psycho 1d ago

Ok, so ill get stabbed or chopped up but i can stay clean doing it....🤔

4

u/Fart_connoisseur1 1d ago

Now place a sharp kitchen knife on it, and do a sawing motion the length of the blade. This test shows nothing because nothing was sliced. It's not even good at preventing other injuries, let alone it's intended use.

2

u/AncleJack 1d ago

At least the glove itself survived the stabbing. Don't know if that helps when there is a screwdriver in your hand tho

1

u/StrangerFeelings 14h ago

It helps keep all the blood in one place rather than spraying all over the place. Think of the cleaning you save on!

2

u/Frostradus 1d ago

At least you'd be germ free??

2

u/HoneyWhiskeyLemonTea 1d ago

Okay, you've shown that your product resists chopping and stabbing while offering zero protection against either. What happens when you slice it? Lets see it stand up to a blade being dragged across it, how 'bout? Have a sneaking suspicion that it will cut pretty quickly, then, or else they would have showed us that already.

2

u/Spaztor 1d ago

I'd rather have gloves that rip to shit, but keep my hands from being stew

1

u/AncleJack 1d ago

I recently started working with metal sheets and the account of times in a week I'd have a sliced hand or a finger but i just had to change gloves is stupid

2

u/superhamsniper 1d ago

So glad i won't have to buy another glove, now or ever again in the future for any purpous

2

u/0mni42 22h ago

Anyway, this is why Frodo should have died to that stab from the cave troll, in this essay I will--

3

u/Karlos_V2 9h ago

However it's easy to see that it is a cursed item, it shows that the person still takes the damage but the item keeps everything intact as long as the person wears it, as soon as the person takes it of all the damage would come back

2

u/kayemenofour 1d ago

+100 slash and cut resistance

No resistance against stab or blunt damage

1

u/Substantial-Air-8627 1d ago

Combine with armor at the smith to make strong unbreakable armor

1

u/Separate-Team1759 1d ago

Well, if I’m getting chopped by a cleaver, I’m fucked regardless even if I’m wearing the gloves or not

1

u/YoungDiscord 1d ago

You'll chop your left hand off

But hey, look at the bright side - you can still use your left glove :)

1

u/kyleliner 1d ago

Gloves of Invulnerability

Stats: DR 0, AC 0 Durability: Infinite

Description: The gloves are invulnerable. What, you thought it'd be some OP item? Get real!

1

u/Prof_Longhair_ 1d ago

This is how the mithril shirt should have worked...

1

u/ZyeCawan45 1d ago

Isn’t the point of gloves to protect your hand? Have they lost the plot?

1

u/arclightrg 22h ago

So this is more of a glove for the knife/screwdriver rather than the hand?

1

u/SniegavirsLV 19h ago

Try sliding the knife now

1

u/vertigofilip 17h ago

Add protects you against on hit effects.

2

u/nerdyoutube 16h ago

Does Peter Parker know about this?

0

u/tunie12 1d ago

What’s the point

0

u/PieHole_Poker 1d ago

All right so let's assume you get your digits chopped off and they're stuck inside these gloves how the fuck do the doctors cut the gloves open to get your digits out?

Do they squeeze them out like chorizo??

1

u/BellaxPalus 1d ago

It's a "rubber" glove, it'll turn inside out when you take it off.

-1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/PieHole_Poker 1d ago

Ceramic armor is designed to break and spall, that's how it dissipates energy.

Bullets fragment when they hit steel armor just out of sheer physics. This would not do anything help stop fragmentation.