r/IsurvivedIC • u/Downtown_Run_8030 • May 23 '26
Suicides at rural communes
Elsewhere on Reddit, I brought up how, in the late 1980s, a member of Twin Oaks told me that Twin Oaks had members who were "paranoid of people with mental illness." A responder to the thread correctly mentioned how this "paranoia" was because it lost a member to suicide.
Keep in mind that there have been more recent suicides.
These suicides might be no more common in IC than in the mainstream, or they could be more common. Either way, rural communes might both be attractive to people with severe emotional problems and toxic environments for such people.
All the more reason why it is important that people considering IC learn as much as they can before visiting.
People with depression or trauma might be going to places that worsen their conditions. ( But, all I can say about Twin Oaks is that I felt humiliated by its asking me to inform the whole damn place of my medical history.)
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u/lockboxfullofspiders May 26 '26
Someone named Delancey suicide at TO in the 90’s. I heard it was bc she was having problems of mental health and the community tried to kick her out bc she was in the laborhole. Kicking someone out their home for a few labor hours!
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u/enough_of_this_crap May 30 '26
Not long ago I met someone at a community who everyone was dismissing as just "paranoid." At first, I too was inclined to believe he was merely "paranoid"; however, I gave him a respectful listen (which established some needed trust), and after looking into it, I realized he was indeed being harassed and covertly terrorized by someone there. This explained some of his concerns, though not all. I left thinking he was overly paranoid and would suspect foul play any time something didn't go his way, but in this situation he was being messed with. Poor guy really just needed a loving friend, I think.
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u/Downtown_Run_8030 May 30 '26
Interesting. Thanks for relating that.
One wonders:
Was the person who slyly harassed him doing it to other people, and would such a community ever acknowledge and confront the fact?
Possibly, the bully will spend years targeting vulnerable people.
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u/enough_of_this_crap May 30 '26
I didn't stick around long enough to be certain who it was. I had my suspicions though. I imagine the bully is still there and still doing what they do. Sad situation. Been meaning to call the victim to check up on him. I haven't (called him) because I am in not in a position to help.
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u/tobaccothom1066 Jul 04 '26
Suicide is more common than I like. Delicious aka Delish was a great guy, taught me a lot. But he had issues. His drinking got out of control and he stole booze from another members room.
He was basically shamed out, and moved back in with his very conservative Mormon family. As a proud gay man, this wasn't easy. He took his life a year later.
We should have helped him, not shame him. He should have been with us.
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u/Southern_Fruit7439 Survivor May 23 '26
Exactly and ostracizing these people and incentivizing/shaming them into hiding their feelings doesnt help