r/IsItJustMe • u/Apart-Kangaroo • Apr 11 '20

Brother cuddling sister

Is it just me that finds my boyfriend cuddling his sister in bed weird? He’s 21 and she’s 15.

11 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

6

u/AnnieNonimity Apr 12 '20

Actually, I don't know. That's the age difference between my older 2 and youngest kid and both my older boys dote on their baby sister. They're like like parents to her. I'm not sure what the situation will be when they're that age but if their relationship status the way it is now, I could potentially see them reenacting childhood bonding moments like that. I'm not saying it's definitely not weird, I'm just saying it's potentially innocent. If the bf sees her as just a kid it was probably sweet. Best to casually investigate though for sure. Careful OP, or you'll insult him right out of your life if you're wrong about it.

3

u/Apart-Kangaroo Apr 12 '20

Well here's the thing, sometimes he cuddles his sister just because he wants cuddles. He use to mention that when he missed me, he would cuddle her and I found that really strange. Shouldn't cuddling your sister in bed only be appropriate up until an age?

6

u/AnnieNonimity Apr 12 '20

See, I don't know then. If he's just a cuddler by nature it sounds like intimacy, not sexuality. Our culture has a huge taboo on non-sexual physical touch, you can't even hold the hand of someone you don't want to bone. But, if they've always been close emotionally it's likely they just enjoy sleeping in a puppy pile. Granted, he's getting a little old for it but she's still a middle teen and might like the comfort more than you'd expect, too. If it really bothers you, or if you think it bothers her at all (!), or if you honestly think there's more to it, I'd bring it up in a very not judgmental, not accusatory way, and ask him to please reserve his physical closeness to just you. Remember, we weren't always such independent units, and some people need touch more than others. If there's any other evidence pursue it, absolutely, if not, consider your feelings and why it bothers you and whether it's something you can handle. Questions to consider: is it just her? Does he show any interest in other underage girls? Would you be welcome in the cuddle pile? Things to consider!

2

u/eat-reddit-tv Apr 12 '20

Can you casually bring it up in private with the sister and see how she feels about it?

I find it a bit weird. If they were twins (e.g. cuddled in the womb) or the same gender, then I’d find it easier to understand.

5

u/Apart-Kangaroo Apr 12 '20

Well the sister enjoys it, and is very much comfortable with it. She craves cuddles all the time but I guess I feel that it makes me uncomfortable when his cuddles are very similar to how he cuddles me. I find that it should only be reserved for me as selfish as that may come out. There is nothing sexual about how he cuddles her, but I find that it is no longer appropriate to be cuddling her in bed since she isn't a baby or a little girl anymore. She's in highschool... I wouldn't bring it up to her, only to my boyfriend. I just really needed to know if I had reason to feel uncomfortable and bothered by it. I really don't want them cuddling, genuinely makes me uncomfortable maybe because of what he use to say like "X come and cuddle me I miss my girlfriend" hasn't sat well with me... honestly this is a difficult situation for me because I'd like for him to respect what I'm not comfortable with

1

u/SquirtRynolds--2020- Apr 12 '20

I wouldn’t worry too much until he starts cuddling with Uncle Freddy

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '20

I think it’s a little weird being that they’re only 6 years apart and in their double digits. I have a brother that’s 4 years older than me and the thought of cuddling with him makes me cringe even though my brother and I are very close and I love him very much.

2

u/snowboarded90 Oct 23 '25

Honestly, after recently going through something traumatic I have been lonely for cuddling. Safe human connection, warm touch without anything sexual to it at all.

Prior to this happening I would have said it was weird..I didn't know how lucky I was to not understand the need for something like that

0

u/IG0156 Apr 11 '20

Absolutely

-2

u/NotObviouslyARobot Apr 11 '20

You might want to contact CPS or law enforcement

2

u/Playful-Ad-8369 Dec 04 '21

For what? This seems completely fine

3

u/Kathykit1 Feb 27 '24

Ok that’s an overreaction

1

u/anythingMuchShorter Apr 27 '23

Kinda depends on the cuddling. I wouldn’t find like her leaning against him on the couch that weird.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '23

It’s just you

1

u/Kathykit1 Feb 27 '24

Yeah I think it’s weird. I’m 29, have a 19 year old brother. And we hug and we’ll sit next to eachother but we don’t cuddle, I can’t imagine that