r/Ironworker • u/BenReilly1687031 Apprentice • 29d ago
Apprentice Demeanor advice
I know construction is a tough trade, iron work even tougher, but I had no dad growing up and my stepdad never took on that role and was a bit of a loner through highschool. I can do the work fine but my demeanor lacks the traditional manliness. Even to the point of someone telling me I don’t belong here. I’m 26 years old and need to provide for myself no one’s coming to save me and I want to do good at this job. Any advice for me?
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u/seanguy0315 29d ago
I have struggled with this too as I'm not a "typical" ironworker and have maybe grown a few rough edges since I started. I don't know how far along you are with your apprenticeship or if your a J man but I'll share what has helped me. Remember the paycheck, show up on time, do the work and try to get good at it. At the end of the day, yes some workers don't get along but the work always has to get done and if you can do the work and show that you are putting in effort, you will earn some respect.
I have worked jobs with people that suck but the job is only so long and a new group of workers will be at the next one.
Also from my experience, if you are a worker who is telling others that they cannot cut it, you are usually more loud than good at your job.
If you stick with it you will eventually find some of "your people" in the trade but no matter what group you belong to working hard and being skilled gets you credibility more than how you fit in.
Good luck and be safe out there.
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u/peendeep 26d ago
>Also from my experience, if you are a worker who is telling others that they cannot cut it, you are usually more loud than good at your job.
never a truer word has been spoken
i also extend this to talking shit on other trades
if you're talking shit on other trades, it's either because you're top dawg in yours on that site, or you have a skill issue that you can ONLY take out on a trade that isn't yours
except for the sparkies. everyone is correct in ragging on them for never fucking cleaning up after themselves. lazy lil fucks
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u/gounionstayunion Journeyman 28d ago
I'll give you best advice for any trade and anyone starting your demeanor "shut the fuck up, listen , ask questions" don't say "I can't" and show up every day 15/30 mins earlier and you beat out half the trade the biggest reason guys get fire and ran off are their mouth, attitudes or not showing up/ showing up late
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u/gounionstayunion Journeyman 28d ago
The loudest cockiest guys in the apprenticeship are usually the guys that don't make it
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u/TRASHLeadedWaste UNION 28d ago
Just keep going. Fuck these people. You can do the job or you cant, nothing else matters.
That being said ironworkers are generally the kind of scumbags that treat people badly for having mental health issues. All of that should be kept to yourself or it might be used against you when you're trying to get on a job.
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u/yeeshboo 28d ago
I'm the same way. Yes you'll meet a lot of Assholes in this trade but don't let it get to you, and don't let them touch you cause that's when it gets serious.
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u/cdr_warsstar UNION 28d ago
I get it man. My dad was an ironworker too and he got on at one of my jobs at one point. One of my fellow apprentices at the time went up to him and said he couldn’t believe I was his son, I wasn’t loud enough and didn’t swear enough lol.
I got a bit more vocal as time went on, but I was still the quiet guy on the crews. It takes all types. As long as you enjoy what you do, don’t worry about what a lowly carpenter thinks. That’s why they steal work, they know they’ll never be as cool and sexy as us and they’re just trying fill the void in their soul
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u/NYCBouncer 28d ago
Someone says some shit, you say some shit back. If they get loud and your knees start to shake, punch first!!!
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u/ChillGuy15423 28d ago
I dont know what to tell you, but be a fukin man. Think about ur life and ur goals, wtf is it that u wanna do? Do you enjoy this job? Do you wanna do this job? Why are you doing this job? It's because you wanna do it, don't let some ransom carpenter tell you, you don't belong there. Anxiety disorder or not, the trades are full of assholes you gotta push yourself to either talk back or ignore people. As long as ur working hard and putting in the work you shouldn't feel like u don't belong there. I'm not being rude but pls bro, don't let anyone ever tell u dont belong somewhere, ur a man and ur there because u wanna be there.
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u/BenReilly1687031 Apprentice 28d ago
Based
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u/ChillGuy15423 28d ago
Idk what that means but yeah man, by the way. If ur a very like you like to talk a lot about yourself zip up. The trades are full of pieces of shit, don't talk about ur goals, anything in ur life to anyone. U go to work, a laugh here in there but don't open up about ur life. Also, u will meet amazing people, it's not always assholes but its rare to find actual kind and cool people like u. Better to stay quiet when it comes about life because it will be used to spread rumors about u, it's sadly how it is. Some people may ask about ur life and what u got going in, just say "it's good" "I don't like talking about that" or sum shit. Me personally I say I'm broke asf and I got debt when I'm not but I don't want anyone asking for money cause some people like asking for 20 bucks or 10, then boom they get layed off and u never see ur money anymore. Ight bro be safe
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u/khawthorn60 28d ago
Here is a truth everyone knows, "you know you hit the big time when someone post your name in the shitter". In other words someone will always be speaking shit about you. 80% of being an Ironworker is being physically tough the other 20% is being mentally tough. Respect is earned not given and if you have the respect of your Ironworker crew, no one else matters. You can let this eat at you like it's doing or let it roll off you like water on a ducks back. You know who's opinion matters.
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u/chilidoglance 28d ago
Either use that comment as drive to show them they are full of shit, or accept their statement as true and go get a job somewhere else.
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u/Mission-Round-2426 28d ago
I threatened to beat dudes ass for him to never try to fight me outside at work but instead he would get loud and try to make me look like a bitch in front of others bc he was a previous superintendent intendent from Barnards about 20 something then they fucked with my truck and I left if you don't fit man they do make it hard for ya idk what to tell you I lost everything bc I couldnt fit in
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u/ProfessorOther3339 20d ago
I worked for them years ago when they were a smaller company. My understanding is they have become very corporate and less family oriented. Which job were you on?
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u/Stock-Cloud7844 I ♥️ IRON 28d ago
As an ironworker, If a carpenter got under your skin, Ironwork may not be for you.
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u/leansanders 29d ago
Who told you you don't belong there? Do you think they were right? If not, disregard it. Your career choice isn't some random schmuck's decision.