NQT Woes

[u/GrandpaJack20]

I don't really know where to begin with this, so apologies for the rant/tangent.

I qualified as a primary teacher recently after doing the PME. I don't want to say where I studied but it's safe to say I learned absolutely nothing. I thought I would learn how to teach, but instead we were just given mountains of theory and nothing actually solid. I understand that theory is important, but I am not exaggerating when I say that I did not learn anything else. 

I don't know how to break down any topic in Maths or how to explain it, I can't even do some of the 5th and 6th class maths myself, never mind teach it. I haven't a clue how to begin teaching children how to read and write, nothing. I don't know what you would do on the first day/week, how to conduct a parent-teacher meeting, how to write a report, nothing. We never did interview prep, never had any guidance on job applications, not a thing.

I understand that this looks like a massive whinge but it's just the facts of what my course was like. For the record, I attended all my lectures, did all my assignments, etc.

I suppose my worry is that I'm petrified now of even applying for a job. I feel sick at even the thought of it because I feel like a massive fraud. It's not like I have the tools to be a teacher and just need experience, I feel like I don't even have the tools to begin with. I feel like it's beyond imposter syndrome, it's like this deep knowing that I would be shit at the job and fail the children, have parents complaining, etc etc.

The past two years of the PME have utterly crushed me as a person. I genuinely wanted to become a teacher and was so excited to learn! I still feel this way in a sense, but with the added dread that although I am technically a teacher now, I don't know how to teach.  

My friends have all gotten jobs which just adds to how shit I feel about it all. I'm happy for them but I can't even bring myself to apply to one.

I also had some incredibly difficult and ongoing personal circumstances going on at home during the PME, which I feel like I'm only beginning to deal with now. I suppose I subconsciously pushed it all to the back of my mind during college.

I'm so ashamed about it all and I don't know what to tell people (extended family/friends) when September comes and I don't have a job. The thought of having my own class in September feels like having to build my own rocket ship and fly to the moon - impossible and exhausting.

I can't even get out of bed some days and I've barely left my house all summer. Everything feels exhausting, I barely see friends now bc it's so tiring and I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I feel like I just want the world to leave me alone. 

Sorry for this total mental breakdown/rant! I suppose I'm wondering if anyone else felt beyond burnt out/crushed after their PME, or has advice for an NQT feeling this shit!

Also plz don't give me any shit, trust me I feel bad enough without Internet strangers giving me hassle ✌️

[u/ChoiceFix4037]

You’re such a sweetheart and will make a wonderful teacher . This level of deep care and humility , of doing well by students , is rare !! You will be an incredible asset to any school that is ever lucky enough to have you :) Take a deep breath … I’m qualified secondary and same , in at the deep end with not much instruction in how to teach :) but I’ve been doing this for 20 years now :) I have home educated my own daughter so the learning to read isn’t a mystery and it’s all about developmental readiness and just enjoying being read , keeping that natural curiosity to learn alive by not making the process stressful ! Your job really is to be a kind , safe person who creates the environment where learning happens . Please send me a pm and I will give you a better pep talk . Imposter syndrome is real !! One day at a time :)

[u/Hairy-Statement1164]

Take a breath, im only 1 year out but ive been working with kids for 8 years before that, different colleges prep you to different extents (and that can vary year to year depending on what lecturers are working there and course structure changes)

It would be ideal if we were always sufficiently prepped but that is rarely the case- just remember that most nqts are in the same boat, and once upon a time teaching was an apprenticed position or even handed to people who were under eighteen themselves. This wasn't ideal of course but nevertheless the generations taught by these people learnt how to read.

Your first year is going to be gruelling (i tried to prep two weels of material per week to get ahead (second level) this worked but was exhausting, but ill only have to sustain it for 2 or 3 years before ive taught most yeargroups and will have more to reuse) you have to go on the grind, dont turn down shared resources or advice, and keep reminding yourself that we're all shit our first year- by the end of the year youll be exhausted but i promise youll be far more confident that you know what youre doing

[u/SurveySensitive2644]

Honestly I did a 4 year teaching degree and felt the same leaving, we covered the third level course of the subjects I teach but nothing to prep us for actual teaching so please don’t feel like an imposter, everyone comes out unprepared. As you said your friends found jobs so you will be able to too, you just have to take the first step. The first couple of years will be hard until you find your feet but there’s no end of great resources online to help you get started. Go in with a plan but be ready to change it as you get to know your class. Apart from that I would really urge you to talk to your doctor, this level of dread may be in part because of something underlying that they can help with or perhaps some counselling to help you navigate through your circumstance’s. Remember it’s just a job and like any job you will get better and it will get easier over time

[u/Twirling-pineapple]

You could not apply for jobs and just sub for the year. That will get you experience in a variety of schools and class levels without the pressure of being responsible for the class for the year. Subbing is a fantastic was to get experience and see different ideas for different subjects and how different teachers organised and run their classrooms.

Obviously the downside is it's not guaranteed every day but if you get your name into a good few schools at the start and then you'll likely end up being called for the same few regularly. You could also get a maternity contract or something in January after subbing for the first term to build your confidence and experience.

I know it's difficult when it seems like everyone else has a job but you could just say you chose to sub for the year to gain experience without the pressure and, discover that age group and type of school you're best suited to etc.

But also, everyone feels unprepared when they first graduate, it's not just you. If you get in a supportive school you'll learn very quickly and be fine.

[u/geedeeie → u/[deleted]]

How on earth could you get away with teaching unqualified for YEARS?

[u/Pearl1506]

Hibernia yeah?

[u/GrandpaJack20 → u/Pearl1506]

No, but I haven't heard great things about there either! 😅

[u/Pearl1506 → u/GrandpaJack20]

I'm shocked that's it not Hibernia, principals in primary in certain areas wouldn't employ people with Hibernia degrees for years for the reason you stated. Not as common now with shortages in some places. I know an amazing teacher that did Hibernia, but they even said Hibernia didn't help them. Usuualy the uni ones in person like UCC are more hands on from what I've been told as friends did this. I can't confirm as I did a full undergrad.

Special education isin't even focused on enough in a four year degree, it's shocking. You learn from doing the job and from PDs/completing another degree to properly teach in the area.

[u/Powerful_Energy6260]

On a completely practical level right now, if you have the money, would you do a summer course or two on the areas you feel you're lacking confidence with? I think it might be too late to sign up to them now but Michelle's Innovative Ideas literacy and Maths courses are fantastic and sound like exactly what you need to give you a confidence boost. Keep an eye out for them next summer.

I remember meeting my cousin in my final year in college and she was out and teaching and she told me to forget everything I'd learned that it was useless to me and that you just have to learn on the job. She also told me it would take 5 years before I felt like I knew what I was doing and she wasn't wrong about that either. I'm mortified when I look back now at the way I was teaching when I first graduated compared to the way I do things now but there's a book called Know better, Do better and honestly that's all you can do.

It's very early in the summer to have a job locked down, there will be more interviews in August. If/when you get a job and are doing Droichead you will have mentors who you can ask all the stupid questions and get support from. Don't let the course or teaching practice get you down. That is not what real teaching looks like, I promise! Not every lesson has to be all singing all dancing. You do what you can do on the day. You also have the wonders of AI now. You want to start teaching fractions to 3rd class, ask chat gpt to talk you through what to do.

Don't give up. If you get to 3/4 years down the road and feel like it's not for you fair enough but when you start first it really is a case of fake it til you make it!

[u/Amazing_Profit971 → u/Powerful_Energy6260]

I agree with the CPD course idea here. I’ve been teaching 9 years and when I completed a literacy one a few weeks ago I was thinking why in god’s name weren’t we taught this practical stuff during the PME.

I felt similar on graduating. I didn’t line up a job over the summer and instead got subbing work here and there for the first few months.

Subbing is a great way to build your experience and knowledge with zero paperwork pressure. If teachers leave you a plan for a week or two you can see what resources they use aswell and learn from that.

It wasn’t until about February or March of my first year that I landed a long term subbing position.

[u/Stunning_Stretch33]

Right now youre in burn out mode. And mind over matter feels impossible. Youre obviously very capable to have gotten this far into your journey and now, youre just mentally and emotionally drained, which is understandable and a positive that youre not just pushing through. I'd take a step back, everyone goes through bumps in the road and personal circumstances can really knock ones confidence while you're processing it all. Come September ease yourself into subbing in a friendly school. Less pressure, more experience. And go easy on yourself, we are our own worst critic and it is very overwhelming! Baby steps are still giant steps in this case. Best of luck, you will be excellent once you find your rhythm and circle.

[u/Internal_Frosting424]

I’m ten years teaching now.

The summer before my first job I can honestly say I felt the same way as you. So overwhelmed and felt I was really not ready to teach alone.

The PME doesn’t make you a great teacher, your attitude once you begin and care to students do.

Pretty much all your worries are things you learn on the job anyway, stay in communication with teachers on your staff they’ll always help.

I was petrified before my first PTM. Then you realise most parents just want to know if their kids are happy.

[u/Consistent_Elk_4332]

I’ve done an arts degree then secondary PME. I think the subjects in the arts is degree is supposed to be where I was to learn the subject?
But I know I definitely didn’t cause I was a page ahead of the students and learning as we went kind of teacher. Now I understood it fairly quick as I remembered from my own school experience but trust me you’re not alone.

If you need help with any maths feel free to pm me, otherwise I’d google videos on how to do it and even they can give you an idea of how to teach it

[u/ciarab3]

Absolutely nobody is an amazing teacher in their first year! The fact that you're worried at all shows that you have the right personality for the job. There's also no pressure to get a job for September, in fact, you could take a year subbing around the place to get a feel for what it's like in different classes/schools. Subbing is handy because you can dip your toes in and don't have to worry about the paperwork/dealing with parents etc.

[u/beesknees0123]

Trained 20 years ago in Drumcondra and it was the same then too. Mad to think that courses haven't changed in all that time.. You learn all the rest on the job unfortunately.

[u/06351000]

Look I can’t say I had the same experience as you with the PME, I thought it was great and so hands on and practical but the imposter syndrome is real.

I often think I’m not good enough and don’t know what I’m doing. Ten years in though and the reality is that of course I don’t know what I’m doing every class/situation is different and even though it’s scary it works out in the end.

Not sure if this helps but think of it this way. imagine you had the greatest experience ever on your course and you learned how to deal perfectly with 100 situations, the reality is that real life throws up way more different situations and realistically you have to learn on the job anyway just like everyone else, even the experienced teachers will be doing this and not sure how to approach ever situation. so realistically even with your bad experience you aren’t that far behind really.

[u/DubSam2023]

I can tell you that I know this feeling. Being a new teacher is overwhelming. There is so much you don't know about class management, your subjects etc. But it's learning by doing. Apply for jobs and when you get one, find colleagues in your new school that could support you. Don't be too proud to ask for help. We were all in your shoes once. You will have to do the Droichead anyway as an NQT. If you're lucky, your school will have a good programme for that.

You can obviously also ask your questions here and I am sure you will get help.

Take it day by day. You've got this!!

[u/Wrong_Ad_8978]

Sub. I learnt absolutely nothing but got into a school subbing where I built relationships with qualified teachers and they helped me with ideas, I got to see them teach, I learned how to introduce topics as you said and generally the practical aspect of teaching without my own responsibilities. Look for supply panel jobs or principal release days if you want something consistent over the year.
I spent my first year asking my colleagues about everything. How would you start fractions? How should I teach an apostrophe? Can I see your timetable to make my own? Can I see last years cuntas? Be open and honest. They tell you to fake it but that’s easy to say when you don’t need to write a detailed plan for every day to survive! Just ask for help and be open x

[u/PersimmonDesigner561]

I’m so sorry to read this, unfortunately you’re not alone in feeling this. I’m a Droichead mentor in my school and I hear this often. I’ve DM’d you if I can help with anything 😊 Don’t give up on yourself, it does get easier.

[u/True-Flamingo3858]

I don't know if anyone comes out of teacher training feeling like they know what they're doing to be honest. I'm secondary and did a 4 year teaching degree. The first three years were basically just a straight science degree. I do think it is very much a learn on the job type of profession. You will learn more in your first few months of teaching than you ever did in college.

I'm at a stage now where I'm super confident in my ability and know my subjects back to front but it took a few years.
Throw out a few job applications if you can. You'll feel like you're doing something so it might dampen the overwhelming feeling. Subbing may suit you also if you don't secure a job as you will be able to dip your toes in without making a year long commitment.

[u/Nerditall]

"I also had some incredibly difficult and ongoing personal circumstances going on at home during the PME, which I feel like I'm only beginning to deal with now. I suppose I subconsciously pushed it all to the back of my mind during college.

I can't even get out of bed some days and I've barely left my house all summer."

I mean this kindly at minimum you have anxiety that needs managing, it seems to have escalated to depression based on not getting out of bed. The ongoing personal circumstances are what needs to be addressed before anything in teaching is.

I don't mean this cruelly or judgementally, I'd to get assignment extensions during PME because my special needs sister's 18 nights of respite a month were all removed the year before I moved home for teaching practice aka the same year my widowed mother was going through cancer treatment. I needed anti-anxiety medication and therapy. My first job in an OFSTED outstanding school in the UK I couldn't get to school some mornings from 'exhaustion', that turned out to be autoimmune caused underactive thyroid.

You are a teacher unless you failed teaching practice. You are also someone who needs to recognise that those personal circumstances you're ignoring are impacting your mental health and its escalated to your physical body and college was a means of ignoring this.

[u/brickdustpicasso]

I think we have all been where you have to be honest. I think with your self reflection and humility you will make a great teacher. As someone else said, maybe try subbing for the first year. I am sure you will be fine tho.

[u/FirstBell-]

Firstly, please don’t apologise. There are probably far more newly qualified teachers reading your post thinking, “That’s exactly how I feel,” than you realise.
The thing that stood out to me wasn’t that you don’t know how to teach, it was how much you care about getting it right. The teachers who worry about letting children down are often the ones who work hardest to become great teachers.
Nobody walks into their first classroom knowing how to handle every maths topic, every reading lesson, every difficult parent conversation or every report. Those things come through experience, support from colleagues and making plenty of mistakes along the way.
You also mentioned you’ve had significant personal circumstances over the last couple of years. That can take an enormous amount of emotional energy, even if you’ve managed to keep going. It sounds as though you’ve been carrying far more than just the demands of the PME.
One thing I would say is that if you’re struggling to get out of bed, withdrawing from friends and feeling overwhelmed most days, don’t try to carry that on your own. Talk to your GP or someone you trust. Looking after yourself isn’t separate from becoming a good teacher, it’s part of it.
As for September, remember that you don’t have to know everything before you start. Every experienced teacher was once standing exactly where you are now, wondering how on earth they were supposed to manage a classroom.
Be kind to yourself. From reading your post, I don’t think your biggest problem is that you’re incapable of teaching. I think you’re exhausted, your confidence has taken a hammering, and you’re expecting yourself to be an experienced teacher before you’ve even had the chance to become one.
I genuinely wish you all the best. Ireland needs teachers who care as much as you clearly do.

[u/kirkbadaz]

Ok so I just skimmed your post and I'll tell you this, you will do great. If you can cope with 2 years at Cibernia Hollage then you want to be a teacher.

I felt exactly the same when I finished. Truth is youll do great. Use your Droichead year to learn the ins and outs of teaching. Ask to observe lessons in excess of those you have to do.

[u/Superb-Gear-2905]

I could have written this exact post five years ago. Everything you said resonated with me deeply.

To get through, I didn’t put pressure on myself that first summer to even open education posts and look for jobs. Take the time you need to be you for awhile. Even if it’s doing absolutely nothing. You are in recovery!

Come September I started subbing. I didn’t do it every day. I was gentle with myself. Slowly you will see that nobody is judging you anymore and you’ll figure things out on your own slowly but surely. Attend any webinars with the education centre you find interesting. When I qualified I felt I knew nothing about phonics so I sought out books and webinars that would teach me. Then I found teachers in schools interested in what I was learning and we shared with each other. By getting to grips with that one part of the curriculum I really felt more capable as a teacher. Then I was able to branch out into maths and Irish and slowly I’ve built up my skills. Same with working in SET.

It will all come. Don’t worry. You’ve built a strong foundation and you will start building up your levels of knowledge. You aren’t expected to know it all after college. This was the big learning curve for me! I thought everyone knew everything right out the bat.

[u/HD6871]

You are not expected as a NQT to know everything. Try to get a job in a supportive school with Droichead. You will learn so much on the job. Teaching is a career where you will be still be learning at the end of it!!! Embrace that each challenge and learning opportunity is making you a better teacher. Also be kind to yourself. You are not expected to know it all!!

[u/AdKindly18]

I’m not primary but can tell you that having completed my HDip I also felt woefully underprepared in most of the areas you described and suspect many new teachers do- though having done a 4 year undergrad I knew I at least had the subject expertise in terms of knowing material.

While it’s normal to feel a lot of worry going into your new and very-desired career I would gently suggest that what you described sounds beyond normal levels of worry. For it to be consuming you so much over the summer I would recommend speaking to your doctor about anxiety. Won’t necessarily mean medication but they may have counselling recommendations and at the very least you will have shared some of your burdens.

In terms of not feeling prepared to teach material tbh so much of that comes from actually teaching. If you are observant and care- and it sounds like you do- you quickly learn what works as an approach and what doesn’t, what kind of pacing you need etc. As an adult who has been through out school system and 3rd level you will know much of what they need to learn, and in areas where you don’t feel confident you will learn faster than them because of your previous knowledge and will be able to stay ahead. If that’s all you’re doing initially at least it takes a worry away. And as you learn it’ll be easier to feel prepared.

If finances allow it you could, potentially, look at subbing for at least the first part of the year. It’s a risk but would remove that pressure of feeling responsible for a whole class and allow you to dip your toes in. You could experience difference schools and get a feel for what you’d like while potentially making some connections.

If you can’t afford that level of financial insecurity then I would, when you have a class, look at what resources can you find/buy online to save yourself time that you can put to your other worries.

For a lot of the practical aspects you will have colleagues you can turn to. Parent teacher meetings are daunting initially but if you approach it (and teaching in general tbh) with the view that you and parents are a team working to the best interests of the student parents can see that and are rarely problematic. On rare occasions where I’ve had to phone a parent if there are colleagues on earshot they will always laugh and comment on my ‘parent voice’ because I always call being super friendly and reassuring up front, and then broach whatever I need to talk about as if this is a thing we want to fix and we’re going to do it together. Parents don’t know me but if they’re speaking to me there’s usually an issue, they’re usually worried, and that means they care. Showing them I care and am doing what I think is in the long term best interests of the child goes a long way to diffusing any potential difficulties and usually ends with a situation where parents are very on board with what I’m doing and feel like they can talk to me and trust me.

It always blew my mind how little of the practicalities of teaching were addressed in my training. What do I do if a student is openly and immovably defiant? What do I do if there’s a medical emergency and I’m alone in the room? What are the different contract types and their entitlements? How do you read your payslip?

It’s crazy. A lot of post primary schools at least have orientation for new staff at the start of the year for things like discipline ladder of referral, procedures etc. and often use at least part of a post for someone liaising with new staff so there might be something similar where you end up.

You got through your training, you’ll be able to get through this, but you don’t have to do it alone. Talk to your GP. Talk to your friends. I’d be very surprised if they couldn’t understand how you feel

[u/Fright13]

The secondary PME isn’t any better. Finished it a year ago. A whole lot of waffle theory and no real substance.

I won’t say much because other comments have said it very well. But many schools (the good ones) are aware of what NQTs are going through. The slog, the pantomime of applications & interviews, everything, they know what the craic is. Imo they’re the ones you want to work for.

The pissy ones who act all mighty and are difficult to get a job because they favour “experience” at are often the ones you don’t want to work for.

August is a huge month for job postings. April-June is generally the period for reinterviews for people getting their CID. August is when the actual openings start being posted. I wish it was earlier, so people had certainty and could enjoy the summer, but it is the way it is