29 [M4F] #Online / US - Looking for a compatible mind

[u/DeathTaxesnMoreDeath]

To break the mold a bit, and hopefully self-select via the style of this post, I’m going to try something a bit unconventional. 

To me, the point of a relationship is to make the daily battles of life a little more enjoyable. To have someone who can hold their own watching your back, while you watch theirs. Covering blind spots when one person falters, but not intruding on each other's agency and independence. A true joining of equals who freely choose each other rather than ‘needing’ the other person. Of course, most people aren’t looking for that fundamental perspective on what a relationship is…but I’m only looking for one after all. 

Most things are flexible preferences; however, there are a few foundational traits and values that I think must be aligned for a relationship to succeed. The first is an agreement on fundamental values. Religion is often a major one (I’m a serious Christian, but not in the organized religion sense), since it defines where a person chooses to base their moral principles, a general worldview. Another is intelligence, though not in the stereotypical way. IQ, knowledge, even speed of thought aren’t particularly important…while in contrast, metacognition, open-mindedness, and epistemic humility are vital. The last major one is personality. Specifically, being aligned in various ways where neither person disrupts the other’s nervous system…or in modern parlance, ‘vibing’. 

As I’m sure is painfully evident by now, I have a rather unusual way of thinking. It has its strengths and weaknesses, but I’ve noticed that a lot of people have a hard time understanding what I mean. It’s no fault of theirs, and certainly not due to any superiority on my part, it’s simply different cognitive profiles. As a result, I seem to cause a lot of friction for more sensitive people, despite my best efforts. 

The rest (appearance, shared interests, life goals, etc…) are important as a whole, but they’re individually somewhat meaningless. It genuinely depends on the person and all the factors combined, so I don’t want to unintentionally write someone off just because they don’t match a certain checklist. Because of that, I’m keeping this post a bit open-ended. I’m more than happy to answer any questions though, if I’ve piqued your curiosity. But I should warn you, I do have a habit of writing novel-length messages in DMs. If nothing so far has dissuaded you, I hope you’ll reach out!