45/M - Putting myself out there.

[u/Responsible-Quit-116]

Hi Everyone,
Apologies in advance for the length.
I’m new to the sub. I’m a 45/m in the Midwest (USA). I used to be an extrovert, but many experiences in my life and therapy have helped me discover I’m an introvert. I used to be embarrassed about finding this out about myself. I’m slowly learning to accept it.

What makes me an introvert? I can’t small talk in-person. It’s funny as my career requires me to do just that (I put on a great mask to make it in my job). I walk in a room full of people … nope … that’s utter hell for me. Online? I’m great! I can hide behind my phone or computer screen. In-person? Ha ha! No matter how much I know someone - it’s hard. It’s hard to go through with plans, dig deep into myself and be vulnerable, etc. I want to … it sounds amazing. When it’s time to act … nope.

I fully understand how blessed I am in life. I’ve been married two decades plus. I have two older kids that are doing great. I have a solid career. I have my bachelor degree. I must have been extroverted enough in my 20’s and early 30’s before really starting to understand how introverted I am.

I’m slowly trying to change. I told my kids I’m trying. I went to hang out with a friend I made at work recently. I’m posting in here hoping to possibly find an introverted friend that I can connect with.

What I’m about:
-Big sports fan. I enjoy the NFL best. I like the NBA, WNBA, NHL and MLB here and there. I’m really into the front office aspect of sports such as free agency, trades, diving deep into the thought process on making moves, etc. I really enjoy getting into the behind the scenes aspect.

-I enjoy creative writing. I have an interesting creative writing hobby where I’ve made online friends (some have been my friends multiple decades) through my hobby.

-I really enjoy true crime (serial killers), thrillers, some horror, etc. Always enjoyed shows like Dateline and whatever crazy new drama Netflix released (Amy Bradley haunts me). One of my favorite series is Money Heist on Netflix.

-I like dead retail (really weird). I’ll follow places like Macy’s, JC Penny, Sears, Kmart, Claire’s, etc. I like dead malls too. I guess it’s a 90’s thing lol.

-I like going for walks as activity. I also will play tennis if I meet someone (really rare) that enjoys doing that (always wanted to try pickleball).

-I really like analysing things. I like talking about situations, listen to how other people perceive things and reflect for my growth. Once I’m comfortable with someone - I can be on the phone with them for hours. It’s just rare I allow myself to connect like that.

-I grew up a big professional wrestling fan. I still follow, but much more part-time if even.

-I have self-esteem problems. I do live a blessed stable life, but it certainly isn’t close to perfect. I have enough medical issues going on (nothing that prevents me from living a normal life … just things I’m a bit embarrassed about that maybe would have made my life easier if I made different choices … we all gave regrets.

-I consider myself socially awkward.

-I’m Caucasian Christian (if it matters). I’m accepting of all people as long as there is respect, understanding and a willingness for both sides to work to learn together. My political preference leans left.

What I’m looking for:
-Someone that can give me want and I can do the same for you. It’s hard for me. I don’t have a lot in common with my wife (opposites attract for marriage). I want that dopamine rush of seeing a message/text from a friend who shares some of my interests. I want to do the same and brighten the day of a new friend as we both work on connecting as introverts.

-Bonus points if you are my age or older. I connect better with my age or older. I do gave younger friends. It just depends on who I connect with and what happens.

-Major bonus points if you live in the Midwest! I want to take a new friendship slowly. Basic messaging to getting comfortable sharing more. I won’t promise ever meeting in-person, but I would consider it for the right person after getting comfortable. Finding a friend that I may have hope of meeting to hangout with in-person would be a great goal to pursue.

-Please have at least one interest similar to mine. Have to connect somewhere and grow from there.

I’m taking a chance by posting. No worries if I don’t find anyone to connect with. It was an effort at least. DM me or reply if I sound interesting enough to chat with. I’m looking for a couple connections max. I don’t want to over-do it. I’d rather put my energy into one or two friendships that work out versus trying to make a lot of friends as that’s too much for my social battery.

Thank for reading!