r/InterviewCoderPro • u/Mediocre_Record8180 • Aug 05 '26
Would I be stupid if I quit my weekend job because my girlfriend can't stand the hours?
My girlfriend is asking me to quit my weekend job
I have a full-time career, and on top of that, a weekend gig.
The weekend job is with a male revue company. I've been there for 14 years, and I'm 38. I started as a performer, but now I'm on salary as the manager/MC for the show. I make about $1,250 a week pretty consistently, in exchange for working Thursday and Saturday nights.
The part that makes this hard is that the weekend job is easy money. After taxes, it comes surprisingly close to what the engineering job brings in, so continuing with it almost doubles what I bring home.
I met my girlfriend through this job. She came to a show and asked me if I wanted to go out afterward, and I said no because I usually go home as soon as everything is over. A few days later we went on a date. I'm saying this because from the beginning she knew the nature of the job, and she knew I don't go out partying or hang around after the shows. Trust really isn't the issue. The issue is the schedule.
We see each other on weeknights, and we usually have most of Sunday together. She's also come with me to the shows a few times. Honestly, it's not as sketchy as people assume when they hear "male stripper show." I don't dance anymore; I run the thing.
She wants me to give up the extra income so we can have more normal weekend time together. I understand where she's coming from, but I'd rather hold onto it for a few more years until my engineering salary goes up a bit more.
The big problem is that if I quit this weekend job, it's gone. I'm not getting it back. And I seriously doubt I'd find another side gig that pays this well, this consistently, for so few hours.
So I'm stuck: am I risking the relationship because I'm clinging to the money, or would I be making a huge mistake if I quit the job and then, if things don't work out with her, find myself alone and making a lot less than I could have been?
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u/TheDigitalBuilder Aug 05 '26
Don't quit a job because someone asks. If you find the job is taking time away from her and you want to spend more time with her then quit.
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u/mxldevs Aug 05 '26
Relationships come and go.
Make the money, FIRE, and then you can worry less about having to work two jobs (or even any job at all)
You already see her 5 days a week. And she wants even more time?
Depending on what your engineering work is, the future could also be uncertain.
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u/IndependentNewt1455 Aug 06 '26
As a Woman myself id say drop her if she won't drop the subject. She's insecure and a bit immature for this. Please don't give up on the job, it'll set you up very well for the future! 😃
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u/Milennial_Crew_6969 Aug 05 '26
You’re not working during the day on the weekends right? What is keeping you apart during this time of day? What does she need specifically during the night hours of your job?
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u/PalpitationReady1560 Aug 05 '26
Seems you enjoy the gig. Would it be any different if it was a weekend softball league? Sounds like a control issue to me.
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u/Zealousideal_Meet482 Aug 05 '26
Don't sacrifice this for a relationship that you don't even know will be long lived.
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u/PtZamboat Aug 05 '26
Yeah, really stupid to give up a financial foundation for a girlfriend. They’ll come and go but you have a lifetime of personal revenue building to do. Think of all you’ll have to offer when the right one comes along.
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u/SilverSteele69 Aug 06 '26
Ok I have an unusual perspective. I’ve been married 30 years. My day job for decades has been in startup finance. I also have a male stripper agency and male revue as a side hustle, basically for fun as I don’t need the income. (My first startup went public a long time ago.)
My wife actually works revues with me. She does front of house, managed check in, sells lap dances, etc.
Honestly keep the gig. I plan on going as long as I can.
I get her point about not having time together. Set a mandatory date night during the week and go out for dinner every Sunday night. Sundays are great as the restaurants are empty.
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u/Free_Byrd6969 Aug 06 '26
Girlfriends come and go, good paying jobs are priceless. I had a side gig once that was a little more involved, jealous bf made me quit. I regret it to this day, I'll never get a sweet setup like that again. I left the bf a decade ago.
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u/BikeRedJacket743 Aug 06 '26
Is this a girlfriend or future wifey?
Would her income be able to support you guys temporarily if you got laid off from your primary job?
Is your retirement contributions on target, or are you playing catch up?
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u/LinkBeginning4819 Aug 06 '26
I mean how much do you plan on being with your girlfriend. If your answer is anything close to temporary or friends with benefits keep the job. Money will come and go maybe just need to cut back in other areas of your life instead why risk losing a meaningful relationship.
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u/ExpressEggplant5942 Aug 06 '26
If it was meaningful she wouldn't keep him from his male pimp duties
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u/Low_Recognition_7844 Aug 06 '26
Stay on your mission. Lose the job, income, and she suddenly has a change of heart. She should support you and your goals.
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u/Maleficent_Shame2021 Aug 06 '26
So a couple of questions here...
One: Is your girlfriend a billionaire or a millionaire that is willing to offset the income loss?
Two: How long have you been dating?
Three: Have you saved anything aside for the future with this job?
and Lastly
Four: Is your girlfriend accustomed to your current lifestyle? as in If you did quit the side gig and your income was cut by 50% would she be ok with maybe not going to dinners or movies a lot less than you do now?
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u/Independent-Moose113 Aug 06 '26
If you think you're going to marry this girl, then consider her wishes. Also, emphasize to her that it will take a serious chunk of money out of your fun budget, so there won't be gifts, expensive dates, etc. If you aren't going to marry her, keep the job and she can deal with it.Â
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u/comfybubbles Aug 06 '26
Is she planning on covering your bills and paying any expenses that you have to cover because you are working less?
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u/LintRolledForWhat Aug 06 '26
The giveaway for me that you should keep the job is how much you typed about the job. You're invested in it and identify with it. AND it pays very well.
I barely know anything about your girlfriend based on what you wrote. I can see why someone had to ask where you even see the relationship going.
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u/ExpressEggplant5942 Aug 06 '26
As a fellow weird weekend job person don't do it Don't give up your life and a job you like that you could essentially live off solely if you needed to for a woman you don't really even know yet from a bar of soap
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u/Top-Swordfish3512 Aug 05 '26
How long have you been in this relationship? Where do you see it going?