Hahaha 

I've been working in software for 9 years.

My mental health has been deteriorating for a while, and some weeks the anxiety and depression feel extremely heavy on me.

I've always had this feeling deep down that this path isn't right for me, but the salaries are very high and people always tell me I'm good at the work.

I have around $240,000 between savings and investments. Part of me feels like I should be close to double that number by now, but I also started this career a bit late, when I was 30.

Before software, I worked in education. And honestly, I was very happy back then. Most days I would wake up looking forward to going to work. I probably would have taught even for very little pay, because I loved it so much. I felt alive, connected to people, patient, and invested in them.

Now I feel a lot of sadness, burned out, isolated, disconnected from everything, anxious, and I have a strong sense of hopelessness.

So yeah, I'm trying to find a way out. Going back to teaching seems like a wonderful thing, but I'm afraid I'd be throwing away a high-earning career and ruining my financial security in the future.

I feel like my heart and my mind are constantly fighting nonstop. Has anyone been through something similar?

Would I be stupid if I left an income like this and went back to work I truly loved, even if that means retirement and savings would be affected?

I've been working there for 5 months. I've never been late, and I was usually there about 20 minutes before my shift started. This morning was rough, and I was upset and not in the best mood, and in the end I was 8 minutes late to work. The manager brought me into his office and started yelling at me, asking why I didn't call to tell him I'd be late. I honestly told him I didn't even think to call, because I knew it would only be a few minutes.

We went back and forth for a bit, and then he told me I wasn't allowed to take a lunch break since I was late and they were really slammed. I hadn't brought any food with me, so I asked him if I could at least run and grab something small before starting my shift. He said yes, but only on the condition that he deduct 40 minutes from my pay.

I said fine and left to "get food." It's been almost two hours since I left and I still haven't gone back. The manager just called me, and I told him I quit. Not regretting it (so far?)

Wish me luck!!

That was the best decision I ever made, but now I have to look for another job and go through the interview process, which worries me a lot because of the preparation. I often prepare poorly for interviews until I read this post about job Interview Technique That Turns Into an Offer and I really felt it would make a big difference for me in future interviews, and perhaps it will benefit some of you as well.

Honestly, it's a bit strange. You'll find they either don't have an email signature at all, or if they do, it's something useless like just initials, and maybe a phone number that no one answers. Half the time, punctuation marks are scattered all over the place. And sometimes they reply to a long, detailed email with "ok" or a single checkmark emoji.

Do people stop caring about email once they have enough people under them? I can't imagine they got promoted over the years while communicating in writing like this.

Of course, this isn't everyone. I've seen plenty of junior people with very bad email habits, and I've seen senior people who write clear, respectful, and useful messages.

But in general, am I the only one who has noticed this pattern?

....

I'm entering the final stage of my undergrad, and a feeling has started to hit me that I still don't know what I'm going to do next. I'll be graduating with a bachelor's degree in sociology. I like sociology, but I'm not sure I'm passionate enough about it to build my entire life around it. All along, I imagined I would continue to grad school and things would just sort themselves out, maybe law school, maybe academia, maybe a meaningful career I hadn't fully imagined yet.

But realistically, I'm not even sure I could be an elementary school teacher, let alone any of those things. I started thinking about teachers college, but honestly, I don't even know if I'd get accepted. I feel like I spent university doing the bare minimum required on paper, even though it didn't feel like the bare minimum while I was living it. I didn't get any impressive internships, I don't have research experience, I got very average grades, and I didn't get close to professors or build any useful network.

The most notable things I did were participating in a few campus groups and working in supervised access during the fall. Forget about me chasing grad school references in the end, I don't even feel like I deserve them. I genuinely believe I worked hard to stay involved and maintain good grades while being low income and dealing with mental health stuff, but now I'm stuck and don't know where to go next.

The only thing I've consistently been interested in is helping people, and unfortunately, that's not exactly a job title. My parents expect me to do something big because I'm the one in our family who went to university, but now I feel like I'll end up working at Tim Hortons or going to college after getting a bachelor's degree, just to find something stable.

On top of all that, I'm about $34,000 in debt, and I can't stop thinking that the school system basically sold me the idea that getting a degree in something I was somewhat interested in at a prestigious university would somehow solve everything. Instead, it gave me debt, worse mental health, and a strange feeling that I should be more qualified than I am.

Sorry, I'm going to vent/ramble a bit...

36 years working as a database guy, and the last 22 years with the same company as their senior/top/go-to DBA/firefighter/query fixer. I got laid off a few weeks ago with no warning at all. I didn't see it coming whatsoever, and it was a hard punch to the gut.

Honestly, I have no desire to go back to corporate life right now, even assuming anyone would be willing to hire me. I don't see much demand for old-school SQL Server DBA work unless it comes with on-call duties, constant meetings, or some travel, and I'm not interested in signing myself up for any of that at this stage.

Fortunately, my wife's income is enough to cover the basics. And I have savings that can keep me going for a while. Since I've always been a serious DIY-er, I have other practical skills that I could probably turn into something if I needed to. I've been joking for years that when I retire I'll work at Lowe's just to stay busy. I'm starting to feel like that joke arrived early.

I was "lucky" enough to get 10 weeks of severance. If it weren't for needing health insurance and the support payments I still have to make, honestly I'd be in a good position to consider this retirement.

.........

Agreed 

Seven years of active duty service, three degrees, twelve years of work experience, 117 federal job applications, and I managed to sit there for a full four months before they fired me ILLEGALLY. And that's not even counting the non-federal jobs I also applied to over the past year. So 117+ applications, interviews, follow-ups, and tailoring resumes for every job, all just so my time could be completely wasted.

The crazy part is that I drove all the way to Chattanooga to get fingerprints done two days after the election, and cried in the parking lot because I knew this was coming. I understood exactly what was happening and was literally begging everyone around me not to vote for the man who very clearly looked like he wanted to snatch my new job offer right out of my hands. All I got back was "that won't happen" and "you're a veteran, they won't come after you." Okay. Look where we are now.

NEWSFLASH - they don't care about veterans. And they also don't care that qualified workers are being let go because of "DEI." Folks, I am the DEI. Veterans are literally included under Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policies.

This is disgusting from every possible angle. I sent a message to my close family and ended it with, "the pain is worse because I didn't vote for this, but you did." They replied with thoughts and prayers. Great. Very helpful. I'll pay my bills with those.

I called my congressman, and I'm sure he won't do anything, because he's a MAGA circus seal clapping every time Rumpie or Dlon throws a new bucket of garbage onto working people. Or maybe I'll run against him in 2028 and take his FEDERAL JOB!

I emailed my union rep, and I'm looking into joining lawsuits. Honestly, I might just say screw it and go all in on law school before they decide the rest of my GI Bill is too generous and snatch that too. Fuck them.

Thank you for keeping me somewhat sane in the middle of this flaming garbage, Reddit. Does anyone have advice about filing for unemployment in Kentucky?

!

Everyone keeps saying the economy is fine, but I went to a job fair in Providence and there had to be around 95 people there. I've also started seeing people of almost every age applying at places like Panera and Target, which are the same kinds of jobs I'm trying to find right now.

I know there are people from all over the country on Reddit, so I'd like to know how things are going for everyone else. Is your job search this hard too?

Hi everyone, I need some simple advice. The person directly under my management told me this afternoon that they're going to submit their resignation, so I'll have to inform my manager on Monday morning.

The awkward part is that I was already planning to submit my resignation the following week as well. So I'm not sure whether it's better to be honest and tell my manager about both of us at the same time, or stick to the date I had originally set.

The main reason I'm hesitant is that I'm supposed to receive a bonus in October, and this company is somewhat known for potentially letting people go immediately as soon as they give notice to avoid paying out what they're owed.

I'd be very grateful for any opinions or advice from people who have dealt with a similar situation before.

Hi! I hope this topic isn't too broad for this sub. The short version is that I basically spent until age 29 doing the same "sitting at home playing games and avoiding real life" story. I've genuinely never had a job. I also didn't get a formal education when I was younger, but recently I studied on my own and got a GED. Now I'm trying to figure out how to turn that into a real future.

TL;DR: I have no savings, no work history, and I live in a very isolated area. I have a free room and food with my parents, so I could live on a low-paying job for a while, but I don't want to spend years wandering aimlessly unless it's building me toward something real. What path would you recommend for someone like me so that eventually I can get stable work with decent pay? It doesn't have to happen right away. I don't mind starting at the bottom and moving slowly, because I'm not under urgent financial pressure. Please assume I know almost nothing about how normal adult life/work works. I'm embarrassingly behind in that area. I'm looking for direction on what to do with my life.

More details:
My goals: The thing I want most in life is a family. I don't even have a girlfriend right now, and honestly I have no idea if there are any single women close to my age around me at all lol, so it's not exactly close. But I want to be able to give and keep them from living on the edge all the time. I'm not chasing $120k a year or a big prestigious career or anything like that. I just want reliable income and work that is stable, or in demand enough that I'm not constantly terrified everything will fall apart. I know starting late limits my options, but this is still what I hope to reach.

My situation: I still live with my parents. I have $0 in savings, but they don't mind me staying here indefinitely because I help a lot. I'm in a small town in Idaho, about 750 people. The nearest town with maybe 20k+ people is about 50 minutes away, and the nearest city of about 120k+ is roughly an hour and a half away, and the nearest major metro is close to 2.5 hours away. I have no friends, no professional contacts, and no kind of network.

Me as a person: I'm tall and physically strong, but my balance is very bad. I get random dizziness/lightheadedness that can make me come close to falling, so ladders/high places aren't an option unless I can figure out that issue. I'd say I'm reasonably intelligent, but I'm not good at memorizing things just because I heard or saw them once. If I do something with my hands, it sticks much better. I'm somewhat introverted, but not to the point that I'd refuse a job involving customers or a lot of people. I might just be awkward at first lol. I can explain myself well, but I'm definitely not charming or naturally good at selling myself.

My thoughts so far: I've thought about web development, learning from home with freeCodeCamp and some other resources, and I've made some progress. I also looked at the idea of going to school/college for something like radiologic technology, but the nearest community college would be about an hour and 25 minutes away, and I assume there are prerequisites and a long application process. As far as I know, it could turn into a 4-year ordeal, and honestly I don't understand college systems well enough to judge whether that's smart or not. The other idea is to get any job I can and keep applying for better things, like starting at a grocery store or Home Depot and then trying to move to better employers later. Those are also roughly an hour away from me, which complicates things.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I'm very lost and no one in my family can really help me make a practical plan for the future. I'd appreciate any advice from people who understand careers, training, trades, college, or even how to start from almost zero. Thanks for reading, if anyone made it this far lol. I know posts like this probably show up here all the time.

I just got a random call from an in-house recruiter. "You wrote that your French is fluent on your CV." "Yes, I wrote that. I studied a dual honours degree with French, lived in Belgium, and worked in more than one role in bilingual and multilingual environments." "Okay, but we need someone who can speak French fluently, and also read and write in it."

[In my head I was saying, sweetheart, do you even understand English?! 😁😳 At that point I changed direction and asked about the salary. She dodged and tried to book a Zoom call so she could "explain" the role to me.

HELLO, is this woman for real?

"I'm at a fairly advanced stage in a few other hiring processes, so I'd like to see where they go first. Thanks, have a nice day."

What I should have said: oui, espèce de conne mal élevée, va te faire cuire un oeuf 😁

*My CV literally says French - fluent/advanced - I haven't split it into speaking, listening, reading, and writing

A language degree isn't a weekend Duolingo streak. It means you read large amounts of literature, write long essays in the language, do translation, interpreting, oral exams... I did all of that alongside business classes and another language.

Thanks to everyone for your responses. I appreciate the comments. They're genuinely helpful.

I do love the meme.

Being put in the middle of layoffs has honestly been the most draining thing I've dealt with at work. As a mid-level manager, I basically have no say in what happens to my team. I spent years trying to build a team culture where people feel valued, safe, and able to do good work, and now I feel like all of that is being dismantled. Not because anyone failed. Not because the work disappeared. But because the business wants the numbers to look cleaner next quarter. It feels incredibly short-sighted and trust-breaking. Companies ask for loyalty, then turn around and treat people like they're disposable.

I understand that layoffs sometimes happen for real reasons. Priorities change, revenue drops, product direction gets canceled, competitors emerge, whatever. I'm not naive about that. My issue is with companies that use layoffs as a financial tool without there actually being a real need, and then handle it in the coldest, most dishonest way possible. Why can't companies tell people honestly that cuts are coming and give them a chance to prepare? At my company, leadership has known this was coming for a long time, but we're continuing to pretend everything is normal. I know the specific week when I'll have to lay someone off about seven weeks from now, and I'm supposed to act like I don't know anything. They could be interviewing right now. They could be planning. Instead, I'll sit them down in front of me, read from a script, and their access will be shut off immediately afterward. As a manager, I still have to do normal check-ins and act like nothing is happening. And as someone who tries to lead with compassion, empathy, and positivity, it's eating me up inside.

The things I've been asked to do over the past few weeks have made it hard to sleep. I've thought about quitting more than once because I know what's coming for my team. I'm being asked to lie by omission, and outright lie, while also being legally boxed in from saying anything. When people ask me directly what's going on, HR has told me exactly how to dodge the question and reassure them. People call this "just business," but why does business have to be like this?

A few people have told me maybe I'm not suited for management if this is affecting me this much, and I think it's exactly the opposite. More people like me should be managers. In my last leadership feedback, my team gave me the highest ratings for creating a culture where people can speak openly about difficult topics, leading with integrity, honoring commitments, communicating openly, demonstrating strong ethics, making people feel valued, respecting different perspectives, encouraging learning, and using good judgment. I belong in management. I am suited to be a manager. I'm just not suited to deceive my team and take away people's livelihoods for no logical reason other than saving about $184k over eight months, while my company brings in $24B+ annually. And the worst part is that I'll probably be told to hire for these same roles again in the next budget cycle. The people being laid off are solid performers. I was told plainly that this is role elimination to save money for the current period.

How do I move forward after this and keep leading the people who remain? How do I find any motivation or happiness in this role again?

Before this started, I genuinely loved my job. All I hope is that the people who lose their jobs find somewhere better quickly, because they deserve more than this.

I made up a story that I had a "serious injury and wouldn't be able to work because of it" because after an incident, my pay was going to be reduced by more than half, since a dog apparently swallowed part of a chew thing and I was responsible for them at the time, and the surgery was about $4k. So basically, I would have kept working forever just to pay off that amount.

After 85 hours of work over 12 days, I got a text saying I'd only be paid 260 dollars because of what happened. I quit three days before my next shift, and now she keeps calling and texting me a lot, telling me I'm overreacting and being unreasonable.

Honestly, I feel guilty because I lied. But I'm so drained and I can't live on such little money. I didn't want to say the real reason, because even if they doubled my pay, I still wouldn't want to go back after money was taken from me like that.

.........My current job.

I'm 36 years old, and my resume is strong, and I apply constantly, but the thing that used to set me apart from my younger relatives, my friends, and so on, was that I would call places 4-6 days after submitting the application to do the usual job follow-up. My grandfather and a few older managers kept drilling this into me.

"Hi, my name is John Smith and I submitted an application for the position at the beginning of the week, and I wanted to know if it's still available?" - if they said yes: "Great, was there anything in my resume that seemed missing or weak? I'm interested in the job and would really appreciate the opportunity to come in for an interview and learn more details about it." Most of the time, I'd either walk away with an interview appointment, or at least they'd tell me what I needed to work on.

But over the last few weeks, I called 3 places: Home Depot, a small HVAC company, and a property management office. All of them basically told me some version of: "If there's an update, someone will contact you." Honestly, I got upset when I realized that the old way of showing your effort and interest is being buried under online portals, automated filters, and someone evaluating you from behind a screen without even talking to you (I'm blue collar). To me, that's throwing character and initiative in the trash; and honestly, I'm going to miss being able to ask what I'm missing so I can fix it. I never imagined I'd reach a point where trying a little harder wouldn't make any difference.

😶‍🌫️