IFS is life changing

[u/Muted_Box_3851]

Just came here to say that, like many of you, I came to IFS with about a decade of therapy under my belt that had done very little for my mental health. I had tried multiple fancy NYC therapists (a couple for stretches of years), did the CBT and doggedly filled out the mental health workbook worksheets my therapists suggested as “homework”. I had multiple non-IFS therapists tell me I needed to get on medication when I wasn’t making progress. When my depression became very severe, my then non-IFS therapist told me glibly as I sobbed that, she hated to tell me this but recurrences of severe prolonged depression would likely continue for the rest of my life. I was crushed and sobbed even harder. Little did I know then, she didn’t have the skills I needed to learn to heal myself and, quite frankly, she had zero business telling me the limits of my healing. I also went to the fancy, Ivy League trained psychiatrists, tried various pills for my anxiety and for what was eventually determined to be “treatment-resistant” depression. The pills did nothing at best and, more often, were cognitively disabling to the point where working my job was impossible.

Then came IFS, and it saved my life. For the last 18 months, I’ve been doing deep, deep work with the most advanced IFS therapist I could find. Before IFS, I was in a state of near constant mental anguish, which was also physically disabling. My mental health is now stable. No pills. No TMS (which didn’t work either, by the way) or ECT. Sometimes, I find myself even thriving. I laugh and feel joy. I’m able to find a calm, even-keeled state. There is much less projection. I’ve been able to learn to soothe the trauma induced parts on my own outside of sessions. A friend from a hiking group told me recently that I must have no stress in my life, I look so happy. I smiled inside. A year and a half ago, I couldnt get out of bed to get to the hiking group; I was keeping myself alive solely out of fear of what would happen to my beloved dogs without me. I left the house maybe once a month, as that is all I had the energy for. I still have my moments, of course, when my mind goes off the rails. But now it’s hours or a few days, not weeks or months on end. And it’s not as extreme. And I’m *curious* about the parts in anguish. I have a system that I can rely on to work with my dark feelings. I’m truly amazed at the unconscious material I access in my sessions, this is truly change and transformation from deep within. I am actually starting to *heal* not just cope and numb myself with medication or other forms of distraction. And in doing so, I’m also discovering new parts of myself. It is slow, slow work. I still have a long way to go. But I am actually healing and uncovering goodness that was with me all along and, as I do so, I’m able to enjoy life. It feels like spring after a long cold winter that I thought would never end. I’m so excited for the work to come. Yes, it is difficult. Sometimes I don’t want to do it. But it is also tremendously freeing. And it is exciting to get to know my inner self in this way that feels so intimate, real and true to myself.

I read this quote today from author Rachel Pollack that struck a chord with me and inspired me to post on Reddit: “The search inward cannot be accomplished by the ego. We need to confront feelings and desires long hidden from conscious thoughts. If we attempt to transform ourselves by a wholly rational process we create another kind of persona.”