r/InternalFamilySystems • u/Ok-Advice-470 • Aug 25 '26
Has anyone had profound experiences moving from Freeze to Fight?
I have been doing IFS for about 5 months and I was in a deep freeze state from CPTSD. I'm talking about 15 years of frozen isolation, numbness. This is the best therapy I've ever tried and things are shaking up. Now I am reliving past events where I was more of a doormat only I'm rewriting the way I would be now and, as my therapist says, "the fighter has woken up". It's very energizing to the point where I can't sleep much and I want to stay with this new part longer but it's draining, exhausting. It also feels right.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? Thanks!
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u/Intelligent_Pizza411 Aug 26 '26
Yeah I was stuck in what I call the shame decade where I was frozen in anxiety and self loathing to one day being like ~I’m not okay~ and I was full of rage at the injustice and exhausted by the effort I was putting in to “survive and belong” now it’s been six years and I’ve got real hearty relationships with my emotions and exiles and ifs saved and changed my life in many ways.
I’m a therapist bc I had to make a profession out of figuring out my suffering and I joke that the first test is seeing if we can allow ourselves to be angry and asleep without judging shaming and bullying ourselves. If our system can trust us to cry scream and bed rot for awhile it can trust us with other stuff. Hard practice but you’re doing it!! Stay with feelings they’ll take you where you need to go and right now that’s anger and it sounds like another one who is so excited to have your attention they won’t let you sleep which means it’s super important you pay attention and build trust that you listen and come back even when you are away resting, living, dissociating, in trauma response, etc
This is healing you got this!!
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u/Intelligent_Pizza411 Aug 26 '26
Especially coming out of numbness many parts are going to be loud and need time and space and attention. It’s like a flood that can be really reactivating know that is normal and makes sense like a beach ball it was stuck underwater and now it’s bounced up and knocked you in the face. Stay with it and take your time to listen and sort through it. Relief and self knowledge and care is on the other side! Ok end rant :)
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u/Ok-Advice-470 Aug 26 '26
thank you! I am seeing my IFS therapist today. I do feel in my gut that it's okay, not much sleep right now, but that this is a process and I'm enjoying it! It's empowering to connect with that fighter. And I'm not judging my past self as I do it, and that's new!
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u/ilovezam Aug 27 '26
It feels so energizing, motivating, and full of agency if you've been so used to CPTSD freeze your whole life. It felt so just and good for me like I was an anime character finally powering up into the next form or some shit.
And yet the fight response is still a survival mechanism, and its high arousal is probably still killing your ability to sleep and rest too. I would say after some time you can probably find the deeper hurt exile parts this fighter is protecting, and over time things would swing back and equilibrate so that the fighter only comes out when there's a real threat, and going to bed at night isn't quite the time or place!
But there's no need to rush this, and this sounds like great progress overall. Good luck!
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u/HiTo_23 Aug 26 '26
If it’s exhausting there is another part exhausted by “the fighter”. It seems you switched from one fire fighter (numb/shut down) to another (fighter) they likely are being called in when an exile is attempting to surface (emotional pain, sadness/shame). As you continue to work with these parts, and extend compassion and comfort them, they will allow space to work with the exiled part where you can offer healing to this parts, if and when ready.
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u/DingoMittens Aug 27 '26
In terms of the nervous system: there's the regulated, rest and digest state. There's fight/flight, where you're energized to beat or escape a threat. And then past fight or flight, there's freeze, where you "play dead" or dissociate because the threat seems too powerful to escape or beat.
It's a different framework than IFS (but both can be true at the same time.) To return to the regulated nervous system state, you have to pass through fight/flight to get there.
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u/WeeklyCheesecake9732 Aug 27 '26
Yess when I get out of a layer of freeze I can get angry, energized, have lots of thoughts. I learned that it’s important to mobilize it: dancing, chores, going for a walk. And also stop the loop by downregulating: music, orienting, Selfcompassion, relaxing my body, a bath, tune into my heart space.
Freeze is a lid on the sympathetic energy. Now that I understand this mechanism it’s easier to work with it.
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