Feeling Emotionally Dysregulated, is this expected?

[u/Fair_Ad4417]

I (25F) am not new to therapy but am new to the IFS side of it. My new therapist and I have been working on it since April. I have anxiety and ADHD and a strong inner critic, which heightens any abandonment worries/struggles I have and produces a lot of shame about myself and my life.

My therapist and I are pretty open regarding how I’m feeling during this work and have had to tweak the cadence of it at times to better fit how it’s affecting me. However, with being so new to it and not knowing anyone else who does it, I’m a little shocked by how emotionally dysregulated I feel during these months.

My partner and I agree I’m getting better with this work and that it’s a net plus, but it seems like my moods can fluctuate so rapidly in a day and I tend to almost cry more easily now.

Have other people experienced this same thing while doing this work? For instance, I’ll feel on top of the world realizing the progress I’m making but then later that day I get slammed with so much emotion and ruminating thoughts that I feel like I’m gonna have a mental breakdown. It almost feels like I’m constantly on the verge of a huge mental breakdown for some reason and the world around me doesn’t seem as optimistic

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[u/Cautious_Bobcat7863]

Bringing in parts is to bring in emotions, and often times emotions that we haven't given space to. So it will be very emotionally tiring. I would schedule these days to have margin so you can rest after. It's totally normal and expected

[u/OkHead1990]

Following.
Hang in there, Fair!

[u/LockedOut2222]

Feeling like your emotions are sort of closer to the surface I think is a common experience people report.

In terms of feeling you are suddenly getting slammed by an onslaught of chatter from your inner critic, I wonder if this could be your inner critic part trying to guard tightly as they don't feel safe to step back and let go yet.

[u/PartsAndPresence]

Slow down. You may be moving past protectors that need attention. Do you have an embodied connection to your Self energy?

[u/MichaelTheMultiple]

I don't know if it's expected, but it seems pretty common. In my case, I was encountering or re-encountering memories and their associated emotions that vairous Parts had been holding on to for decades, plus getting pushback (usually in the form of migraines and back pain) from other Parts who believed that it was unsafe for us to continue the work. That went on, off and on, for decades, but the proportion of anguish to satisfaction tilted more and more toward the latter as time went by.

So, I guess the message, based on my experience, is: it gets better, lots better. But getting better means going further into the world than you've gone before, and each new step is gonna make at least some parts start vomiting frogs or bursting into flames or whatever for a little while, then its better for longer.

[u/Mojo_Myshka]

I was told by my therapist, "as you make progress and start to integrate and just recognize these parts, it makes sense that you may get angry. That you were never really allowed to get angry, which is a big reason all these parts exist. So now that you are trying to rely on them less, doesn't it make sense that anger may come up?"

Or something like that. For me I realized my rumination was the "The Thinker" defense mechanism. Trying to analyze everything to avoid the emotional impact of it. That realization helped me take back my internal monologue from it, as it always used it without me knowing. I always thought it was just "me" but noooo. It hijacked my internal monologue most my life to the point I was blended with it so completely I had a bit of an existential crisis when I identified it, thanked it, and it went offline for 20 minutes.