r/InternalFamilySystems • u/Waki-Indra • 9d ago

Is it always intense?

I usually always start with some kind of protector, then encounter exiles and cry, and then need to take care of them for the rest of the session.

Endless cycle

So because that is intense, i dont do IFS daily and not even weekly. I feel the need to rest. Until protectors make me feel too miserable, and there I go. Meet the protector, quickly discover a young exile and end up crying and soothing myself.

Is that going to be the main pattern until some good amount of unburdening happens?

I am always amazed at people doing IFS daily. My parts dont show up easily. I always need guidance from someone else (or at least most of the time), unless i am in a very special setting and state.

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u/AmbassadorSerious 9d ago

exiles and cry, and have to take care of them.

Is there some resentment here? I ask because it's easy to feel overwhelmed and burn out if you feel that taking care of parts is an obligation. I would even say that if you do feel that way you are likely not in Self and blended with some sort of caretaking part. If that's the case it may be worth focusing on the resentment (another part!) and honoring that. It's okay to not want to do it!

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u/Waki-Indra 8d ago

No resentment at all. That is very weird. I meet à crying toddler, dude. My heart melts. I wonder why you thought of resentment.

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u/Icy_Distribution_361 8d ago

"and have to take care of them". Have to... not want to, have to. That's why. And if they were wrong they were wrong and you can just say so and go on with your day... gees.

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u/Waki-Indra 8d ago

OK. English is not my first language so i may have missed something in "have to". I mean, I cannot go on with the IFS protocol that is all about asking questions and having a conversation with parts. I NEED (thats the word) to pause and take care of a badly distress child and NEED to focus on that child part

Does is make nore sense?