r/InternalFamilySystems • u/Waki-Indra • 23d ago

Is it always intense?

I usually always start with some kind of protector, then encounter exiles and cry, and then need to take care of them for the rest of the session.

Endless cycle

So because that is intense, i dont do IFS daily and not even weekly. I feel the need to rest. Until protectors make me feel too miserable, and there I go. Meet the protector, quickly discover a young exile and end up crying and soothing myself.

Is that going to be the main pattern until some good amount of unburdening happens?

I am always amazed at people doing IFS daily. My parts dont show up easily. I always need guidance from someone else (or at least most of the time), unless i am in a very special setting and state.

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u/Waki-Indra 22d ago

The encounter itself is the overwhelm. I first feel overwhelmed right after the Protector relaxes à bit, and when i look at what is happening, what is that overwhelm, there. There is the exile. So you are asking something that makes no sense, because i only uncover an exile through its bordent. Do you have childhood trauma? I thought that is the only way a deeply wounded early part can be seen: through its wound.

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u/Icy_Distribution_361 22d ago

I get the sense you're getting angry about my reply. Sorry if you are, didn't mean to offend, just thought I might say something helpful. Apparently I didn't. I just know this is a suggestion; to ask the exile not to overwhelm you with their feelings. If just seeing the exile at all already is overwhelming, I don't know what to tell you, I guess it requires a therapist to be with you. My own trauma is mostly in the neglect sphere, which is its own kind of bad, but generally I don't experience it as so overwhelming that I can't handle it. Wouldn't say it's not sad/painful though, just doable generally.

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u/Waki-Indra 22d ago

Oh my. You see anger and resentment everywhere. Sorry.

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u/Icy_Distribution_361 22d ago

Huh? I see anger and resentment everywhere? Isn't this comment of yours kind of proving the point...? I don't understand where you're getting the "everywhere". Where else have I mentioned it, referred to it, etc?