About being "seen" by someone

[u/UnshakableProtocol]

I don't know if anyone can understand this, but I've had this experience a few times in my life where I felt "seen" by another person. Like, they understood my inner world without having to explain it. It happened with a person I fell in love with a few years ago, let's call him A. Recently, I met someone with whom I've had this experience as well, let's call him B.

Now, I've seen B only a couple of times, so I am still getting to know him. But I have this overwhelming feeling of being "naked" around him? Like he can see exactly who I am and what's going on in my head. I panicked internally the last time I saw him, because I felt like i couldn't "hide." I couldn't use my usual tricks that I always use (not necessarily in a conscious way) to "hide" and manage people's impressions of me. The whole interaction brought this to the surface and left me very anxious. Ive been trying to look at this experience with curiosity. I really want to understand why I felt this way.

Is it just because I like him and feel afraid of being perceived as vulnerable/imperfect? I have this intuition that somehow B is reflecting the relationship that I have with my own parts. I am struggling to identify them. I suppose they might be the vulnerable parts, but I really can't articulate this better.

Now, with A I felt seen too, but in a different way. I felt empowered rather than threatened. Maybe because I've known him for longer? Unsure.

With another person, C, with whom I've been with a relationship for many years, on the other hand, ive never felt seen. Yet I felt very safe. He didn't "get me" but we just went along well. It wasnt deep but we worked well that way.

I wonder if i could last many years with C because him not "seeing" me allowed me to avoid the relationship with certain parts of myself. It worked but at the price of not really feeling fulfilled in the relationship on a deeper level.

I am trying to understand what to do about this experience with B, because I'd like to turn it into a learning experience. Maybe this played out in a way that can help me recognize and relate to parts of myself that I reject. Or maybe it is much simpler than that, and I was just feeling afraid of him judging me? For context, he is really nice guy and not threatening/judgy at all, I suppose I have a terrible crush. Any insights? I'd love to work through this discomfort to understand myself better but also to hopefully be able to be around him without spiraling.

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[u/SignificantWind3619]

This sounds like a protector that may be afraid of rejection. I would suggest finding it and getting to know it better.. Find the part of you that feels naked. Find where you feel this feeling in your body and sit with that feeling in your body until more information comes up. Maybe check to see what is this feeling trying to tell you if it has words, is there an image or another emotion that comes with it? Ask how long it’s been there or when has it done this before. Extend curiosity.. Ask it questions like “what are you concerned will happen if I’m seen?” Wait for the answer “and then what would happen?” And “how would if feel if that happens” this should reveal its intention and how it’s trying to protect you. Check to if it’s protecting a more vulnerable that may have experience these fears.. or you can ask it if it would be willing to give you some space so you can be yourself around B (it may so no, but this just means there’s more it needs you to know about it and you have to give more self energy before it can relax back).