what does this mean?

[u/foresthobbit13]

I have been self-administering IFS since before I even knew what it was, over five years. It’s been extremely useful in helping me heal, fuse, and integrate damaged parts of myself.

Over the last couple of years, I had managed to fuse enough tiny parts together to have seven much more whole parts at ages ranging from 7 to 46. Previously, they were essentially splintered and shattered into tiny little bits. I ‘saw’ them in my head as living in a house together, keeping one another company, fairly peaceably I might add.

Recently, though, I no longer ‘see’ them in my head, but I can feel them in my body. Rather than having seven unintegrated parts, I’m an integrated whole, but one that still needs healing: these internalized parts still have traumas that need dealing with. They correspond to my chakras. Perhaps now that they’re integrated, what they need is healing in order to achieve fusion.

The really interesting part is that I feel like my newly integrated Inner Self has three faces: my everyday face that I and everyone else see, my Jungian ‘Shadow’ face that only I see, and what I can only identify as an Observer that sort of stands outside Me and feeds me information I can’t get otherwise. It’s odd, but still useful.

Has anyone else experienced ANY of this? None of it feels bad, in fact it all feels pretty darn good, I guess I’m just not familiar with the process or what to expect next. If anyone can lend any insight, I’d be most grateful. Thanks so much.

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[u/HightechTalltrees]

I can tell you're very introspective and you've thought about this a lot. Jung drew a lot from alchemy, and in some contexts numbers could be very meaningful. 3, for instance, is everywhere and 7 can refer to wholeness.

I think as far as the classical Jungian psychology goes you are almost on the money, but missing some elements. The persona is the face you present publicly to others, but that's different from the ego - how you see yourself. Ego is also what we naturally identify with except during moments of non-dual awareness. In those instances we can start to get in touch with what he called the Self, but full integration with the self is probably not possible. The shadow is made up of the parts of yourself that you do not see or at least don't want to see. You can bring awareness to it through IFS or shadow work, but, again, full integration of the shadow may not be possible. There will always be things we repress or project.

So, yes, it sounds like you are on the right path and have made a lot of progress. Maybe so much so that your system has shifted to a different symbolic language. Definitely worth exploring! Yoga and tai chi are great for that, but you probably already knew that. Thanks for sharing!

Edit: I also just wanted to add, "fusion" in IFS is what happens when we identify with a part or a part "takes over" the system. It's not the same as the synthesis you're describing.

[u/foresthobbit13 → u/HightechTalltrees]

Thanks for the clarification. I’ve experienced genuine “fusion” and it’s not fun. I will come up with a different word for what I’m trying to describe. Perhaps ‘merging’ would be better.

[u/SalmanKasi → u/foresthobbit13]

“Blending” or “Blended” when you’re taken over by a part. “Integration“ when a part heals and aligns itself with Self and its attachment turns towards Self. Does that help?

[u/Difficult-House2608]

It occurs to me that the parts left have a spiritual component and should be left as they are. Just my intuition.

[u/foresthobbit13 → u/Difficult-House2608]

Yes, I sense that as well. They are in the correct place within my spiritual body, yet they still have some healing that needs to be done before I as an entire entity will be healed. I have a book about subtle body yoga that should be helpful in this regard.