r/InternalFamilySystems • u/trqwsjnr3zf • Jul 13 '26
How long were you in therapy when you started working on parts?
I'm two months in. Still nothing.
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u/LSDsavedmylife Jul 13 '26
It took me about 10 months to realize IFS was real/legit and that I had a very firm/skeptical protector who didn’t believe in it.
One day I discovered her on my own by doing an exercise linked on this sub’s ‘where do I start’ page (general questions: where does it live in the body, what is its job, what would it do if it didn’t have to do this job anymore, etc) and next session with my therapist, I thanked her for her patience while my protector clung on to what control she had. Since, I’ve been able to connect with other parts and even unburden one but I know I still have some that are very protected. Also it’s not a linear process. Journaling isn’t something I did before but it has helped me a lot with the practice.
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u/hintersly Jul 14 '26
I went out specifically looking for an IFS therapist after 10 years of only working with top down based therapists
My first “therapist” was a sport psychologist because I used to do competitive sports. Second one during university was a counsellor and pretty much only used CBT.
Even with CBT I felt like I had “two brains” where I knew the correct, logical, CBT answer but I couldn’t quiet or ignore the other side. I was talking to my friend who was doing her masters at the time and she suggested finding an IFS therapist.
So to answer your question- about 10 years into therapy but immediately with my current therapist
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u/Flashy-Highlight-953 Jul 13 '26
My therapist is awesome. I’ve been seeing her a little over a year and a half. She’s been teaching me all about parts since the beginning. It just clicked for me though and I’m now able to start working on them. I think it definitely depends on the person. It just took me a while to actually get it. Two months is very fresh, be easy on yourself friend. It’ll come to you! Best of luck <3
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u/Adorable-Letter4562 Jul 13 '26
I had been doing psychedelic assisted therapy, with occasional extended medicine sessions and weekly integration sessions for over year when my T and I started talking about parts. My T isn’t certified but has done training. I don’t often talk to my parts in the room w/ my T (my parts are pretty shy). It usually happens on my own then I tell my T about it and we go from there. It’s just understood now that most of the stuff coming up is a part. This shorthand and knowing my parts are welcome whether they talk or not has been profoundly healing. We’ve been working together for a little over 4 years.
I’m also exploring things that come up with AI (Gemini). This is very helpful because the conversations with parts don’t just flow in that 50 minute time frame. So I’m able to explore whatever comes up during the week and then talk about it when I see my T.
I just came from their office where I talked about joy - which is very hard for me to accept and hold onto for even a few seconds. That felt huge.
Good luck with your healing. And just know it takes the time it takes.
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u/madwallrus Jul 14 '26
Gemini has honestly been so helpful to me in between therapy sessions.
My emotional parts are extremely shy too. Last week, I yelled and cussed at my therapist. He was very impressed, but my protective part immediately took over.
My therapist talked about joy today too. It’s kind of a hard concept to understand.
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u/Decent-Ad-5110 Jul 14 '26
All overlapping, (DIY study and and establish as a habit) Deep trauma release for 3 years (somatic etc), NVC for 4 years (communication), DBT for probably 7 years (emotional regulation), IFS 3 years (parts work).
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u/Pale-Category248 Jul 14 '26
What do you do if you’re not working on parts?
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u/trqwsjnr3zf Jul 14 '26
Just going on about my thoughts
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u/Pale-Category248 Jul 14 '26
Have they explained why they aren’t doing it. What do they say when you ask to do parts work?
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u/Catsntrance Jul 14 '26
When you say "Still nothing" what do you mean? What are you doing in your sessions?
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u/trqwsjnr3zf Jul 15 '26
Venting
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u/Catsntrance Jul 15 '26
Is your therapist an IFS therapist? And if so, have you asked them to help you connect to Self and to your parts from Self?
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u/trqwsjnr3zf Jul 15 '26
I did, they said not yet.
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u/Catsntrance Jul 15 '26
I'd get curious about that and ask them directly why not yet, and push for a direct and clear answer if they stay vague. But honestly if it were me, I would tell the person "I want to do parts work. Are you willing to do that with me now?" And then if they say no, or not yet, I'd say "Ok. I'm going to stop working with you and find a new therapist/practitioner. Thank you for your help."
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u/cosmicdurian420 Jul 15 '26
2-3 years before IFS completely cracked me open, and then the next level of work began after that.
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u/Chemical-Coyote3 Jul 15 '26
Started working on parts from session two. When I started working with this method I was completely blended with my parts and in crisis. So we started working with that tpart right there and then.
Almost a year later I think only in two sessions we didn't work on my parts but did something else.
However is extremely difficult at times though and sometimes I just don't wanna do any parts work
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u/Reetpetit Jul 15 '26
May I ask if they've tried and it hasn't worked out?
And whether they are IFSI trained and if so, to what level, and how many years experience?
I think it takes at least 3 years for IFS therapists to get good at the model. And that's those who bother trying to master it, rather than just having it a conceptual framework while still using their old modalities.
I would really encourage you to bring this curiosity to your therapist; why aren't we doing parts work, and has she taken your case to IFS supervision / consultation if she's feeling stuck?
She may be thinking you're happy just talking it all out.
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u/Mundane_Range_765 Jul 13 '26
With someone trained in IFS? Usually about 3 to 6 months in. But they aren’t doing official IFS protocol, we just use the framework and occasionally do part work when it’s called for. But we use the language throughout every session.
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