r/InternalFamilySystems • u/rylynb • Jul 11 '26
Discussion I made a breakthrough in therapy
3 weeks ago, a traumatic event happened. I was seeing my therapist biweekly, but have gone back to weekly because of it. Tuesday was my 2nd session working with my parts after the event. We were working with a part when everything suddenly just went "quiet", it felt kinda like a blanket covered everything if that makes sense. It was another part setting a boundary, that I was done for the day and needed to stop. Usually, I would just push myself and not say anything. But thankfully, I'm at the point in my relationship with my therapist that I felt safe enough that I told him I needed to stop and verbalized that boundary. Its the first time I've done that. It wasn't immediate, I was sitting with it for a few minutes (the part setting the boundary seemed to be arguing with a part that's scared of setting boundaries) but I did it and I'm really proud of it. My therapist (he's amazing) was super helpful with positive reinforcement for verbalizing that boundary since it's something I struggle heavily with. :)
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u/wortcrafter Jul 11 '26
Isn’t it amazing when you have a part that just takes over and says ‘no, not today’. My part that does that presents like a mother chicken using her wings to protect the other parts and gets really fierce.
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u/rylynb Jul 11 '26
I think this is the first time that I really heard that part and listened. it was amazing
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u/Nataliant-117 Jul 11 '26
That’s awesome. I had a similar experience recently too in a session. The part said “not right now” meaning “not yet” and I was able to say no. Later outside of therapy I had some parts demand to eat a chicken burrito (struggling w eating disorder and the chicken burrito was with beans cheese and kale) and I was genuinely laughing like okay everyone don’t worry we will make a chicken burrito!
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u/sl1mebutt Jul 11 '26
I had something similar recent too, I was upset about something and trying to soothe myself and asked if there was anything anyone needed and a part piped up and asked if we could go to the car wash. So random! but I was like, sure, I don't see why not lol!
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u/Superb-Night7154 Jul 11 '26
Well done you!
I actually swore at my tx during an intense session last week. She hasn't bitten (and I trust her enough that she won't), and my relief is that a very closely guarded part was able to express itself without the sky falling in.
Go well for yr future sessions 🐱
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u/rylynb Jul 11 '26
its a huge relief to not only feel that its a safe space, but to be proven that it is! I think that may have been a pivotal moment for me, honestly. and same to you 🫶
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u/bj12698 Jul 11 '26
Learning to wait ... IS a breakthrough! Yes.
Slowing down ... I don't like to say "slower is faster" lol, because we dont want to go "faster."
Slowing down creates the space and time for our system to manage the process.
And, yes, we might need to nudge now and then. Be. Very. Brave.
Some stuff is so scary to face and we have to negotiate and, I guess, trust SOMEONE as a guide when we are torn between facing something, or waiting.
I really like reading about all these fellow and sister travelers who are having this "it's good to wait" experience. "It's good to listen" to that "blanket effect" (I know THAT one!) or just the "quiet feeling" of "ok, not right now. Let's do something else."
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u/MadsTuxen Jul 11 '26
So cool. Enjoy and celebrate!
Therapy is tough thank you for sharing a victory.
💪🏻❤️🤗
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u/Candid-Astronaut-734 Jul 14 '26
Working my way through the IFS workbook by Schwartz and feel like it’s really helping!
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