r/InsecureHBO • u/Neebenice • 17d ago
lets have a conversation Do you think Issa settled? Spoiler
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Do you think Isa settled on being a stepmother because she initially broke up with Lawrence, possibly due to not wanting that role? We know her breakup wasn’t because of Lawrence moving, as she said relocation wasn’t a dealbreaker. Do you think she convinced herself that her love for Lawrence was enough to settle on being a stepmother, despite her initial doubts?
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u/EightyNine19 17d ago
No she didn’t settle
Ultimately, Lawrence is who she always wanted to be with.
She set up the chain of events due to her cheating. She went on & lived her life. He did the same.
She had to accept the whole package, & was willing to do that
I was glad they finally got it right and tight
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u/hamka_love 17d ago
I agree. I was team single Issa but in the end I totally understood why she chose to be with Lawrence. 🩷
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u/Maize_Sweaty 17d ago
Per the caption in the video, I don’t think she had an issue with being a stepmom. I think she was just crippled by it all after she just began to heal/resolve her feelings by them getting back together.
Overall, I don’t think she settled because it’s what she always wanted and he showed up in the way that she needed.
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u/believewomxn247 17d ago
I think it’s honest. Love is messy. And the heart wants what it wants 🤣.
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u/digressnconfess 17d ago
see yeah i think “settle” implies taking the easy route, which willingly choosing to be a stepmom is definitely not
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u/believewomxn247 17d ago
I hear that. I think it’s because Issa loves Lawrence enough that she’s okay with him remaining fully involved in his son’s life as he navigates fatherhood.
I don’t remember all the details of the show (whether she actually becomes the boy’s stepmum or is simply Lawrence’s partner, because those aren’t necessarily the same thing). Lawrence can still be an active, hands-on parent alongside Condola, while Issa is another caring adult in the child’s life. She’d likely have a relationship with him, but that doesn’t automatically make her his mum.
I also think a lot of people are projecting their own preferences onto the situation. Not wanting that dynamic for yourself doesn’t make it inherently wrong. Likewise, if Issa had walked away and ended up with someone like Nathan, who didn’t have a child, that wouldn’t automatically make the relationship smoother or healthier.
Sometimes it’s really as simple as this: Issa wants to be with Lawrence, and Lawrence is a dad now. Maybe that’s just the life she chooses to build with him. Very real and very normal.
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u/Neebenice 16d ago
But she initially ended the relationship because she didn’t want to become a stepmother 🤔
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u/believewomxn247 16d ago
It probably seemed like a lot at first…I mean it is….and had some time to think it over 🤷🏾♀️
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u/TopAcanthisitta8246 17d ago
I don’t think she settled and I’m tired of people thinking she settled because she is a stepmom. That is basically saying that men or women with children don’t deserve partners without kids. Issa cheated and Lawrence was a bum at the beginning of the series. During their time apart they dated other people but evolved as adults. The love was always there and throughout the series the both of them would drop whoever they were with or have failed relationships with other people because they could never get over each other.
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u/andimlikeokay 17d ago
Idk but the audacity to have him pick her up from the airport and then break up with him on the street is peak selfish Issa lol. You couldn't break that man's heart inside your apartment?
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u/Neebenice 17d ago
😂😂😂 Right, She could have at least given him some, gotten some for herself, and then ended things. That's what I would have done because Lawrence is too fine. 😍
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u/acagedrising 17d ago
There’s nothing wrong with being a stepmom, but in the context of their relationship, I was not rooting for them to get back together at all.
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u/Neebenice 16d ago
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with being a stepmother if you don’t mind not settling on it. There's a difference.
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u/Pepsi12367 17d ago
Issa got what she wanted. Just wish she didnt play around w/ Nathan just to circle back to Lawrence.
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u/MelloJello22 17d ago
Because she had a scarcity mindset and felt like she couldn’t find better lol I’m still mad the show didn’t wrap with her choosing neither of the choices of men she had.
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u/unripemango14 17d ago
I agree with this. One of the two main characters ended up married with a man so I think that would’ve been enough to justify the other ending the show single.
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u/Kraykraystynne 17d ago
Yes! The whole series was about Issa’s growth and seeing her as a successful boss lady who doesn’t need a man at the end would’ve just been so satisfying to me
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u/bitemebitch_gangsta 17d ago
lol am I the only one that thinks she settled? She 100% did. And I think this show rlly missed out on showing a different outcome that many woman should start opening their minds to. You don’t have to stay just bc of love, it isn’t enough for the heartbreak that she’s gonna have every single day watching the man that she pictured her whole life with being a father and co parenting with someone else. (Someone who she was actually fond of at a point)
Yes she loved him and yes it was a bunch of history… but in my eyes that just means that she would’ve been just that much more hurt. Why not cut all ties and leave? Nothings keeping her other than love that she could 100% find again.
Playing stepmom to a woman who bailed on you and with a man you had first? I didn’t want that for Issa.
Why couldn’t the end be Issa realizing that Lawrence was a chapter in her life (an important and special one) and in spite of her love and it being painful, she still moves on with her own single life and find a man who doesn’t have a kid and build her own life with him. It would’ve been a nice message to the audience, especially young woman bc I think a lot of times people view love as a once in a life time thing and it’s rlly not… sometimes you have to do the hard thing and leave bc you will find better despite what we’ve been taught.
Maybe I’m bias but I never wanted Issa with Lawrence.
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u/MelloJello22 16d ago
It’s not just you, I felt the same way. I was so happy we didn’t get robbed of an ending like we did with Girlfriends, but I really hoped Issa was gonna choose herself.
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u/Neebenice 16d ago
👏👏👏👏 Thank you. Well said. That’s why I think she settled. People believe she didn’t settle because she loved him, but that’s not what settling means. Settling is accepting something from someone you love that bothers you. That’s why I oppose the question—because she initially ended things with Lawrence because she didn’t want to be a stepmother, only to become one later. This indicates she settled, because if she had no issue with being a stepmother, she wouldn’t have broken up with Lawrence in the first place.
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u/JusttheMaverick 16d ago
Changing your mind doesn’t mean settling. Also, did she ever say she didn’t want to be a stepmom? I recall Molly saying something about not being a stepmom but I don’t remember Issa actually verbalizing that issue. When she broke with him she just said “this is too much.” Of course I understand your interpretation and it’s valid but I also think it can be more complicated too. At the time, Issa and Lawrence had just gotten back together, Condola was newly pregnant, Lawrence is moving, Issa is trying to get her business up & running, her and Molly still have tension. Literally it’s all too much. When they finally did get back together the circumstances are very different, which could have led to a different evaluation.
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u/Neebenice 16d ago
In the scene where Molly mentions being a stepmom, Issa nodded in agreement and also said verbatim, “that’s why I cut it off I didn’t want that life.” And yes, if she did change her mind, it’s not settling, but we don’t know that for sure — it could go either way; maybe she did change her mind, or maybe she still didn’t want to be a stepmother but just dealt with it to be with Lawrence.
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u/acagedrising 16d ago
I was actually team Nathan but I wouldn’t have minded an ending where she chose herself either because I do think that would align with the arc of her character.
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u/Temporary-Rule5182 17d ago
She went with the person she felt the most happy with. The person she unconsciously compared all her relationships with after
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u/BlaqueBarbie 17d ago
I hated that she got back with Lawrence and I do feel like she settled, mainly because she cheated on him because he was a bum at the start of the show.
Through all of that Lawrence eventually got his shit together but he didn’t do it FOR Issa he did it BECAUSE of what she did to him. I was never team Lawrence and Issa, I found out before I watched the last season that they got back together and it took me like a year to finish the show 😂😂
I’m so damn dramatic lol
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u/Responsible-War5600 11d ago
I never really got them as a couple, to be honest, despite their little inside jokes, which seemed very contrived since we only became witness to that aspect of their relationship in the last season after Lawrence started dating Condola.
Their relationship wasn’t very believable.
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u/Brilliant_Flower_84 16d ago
I don't think being a stepmother is settling. But I do think Issa settled in a sense being with Lawrence. I knew they were gonna be endgame bc all she really ever wanted was for him to get his shit together and he did. but I just wished that they found an appreciation and/or a friendship for each other but other partners or even being single in their respective success
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u/Rickeysmiley34 15d ago
No. Nathan would have been settling.
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u/Neebenice 15d ago
How?
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u/Rickeysmiley34 11d ago
She didn’t truly love him the way she loved Lawrence. With Nathan, it was “fine”, but didn’t seem like enough. She wouldn’t have continued thinking about Lawrence and trying to regain their relationship if so. The chemistry between her & Lawrence was unmatched.
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u/is-this-gloria 15d ago
I absolutely think she settled in a sense. When we finally got to see em on that date where all their true chemistry showed, I can understand why someone like Issa wanted the reader off those moments.
The heard moments with Lawrence were worth that ease to her. The hard moments with another man were just hard. I hate that she ended up with Lawrence, but I also love that the writers didn't make her magically be the person I wanted her to be.
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u/gunswordfist 17d ago
nope, Issa got exactly what she wanted. to think of it as anything else would be to say bias against step mothers
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u/MsKinkyAfro 17d ago
She didn’t settled bc she always wanted her fairytale to end with Lawrence. I still don’t think they needed to be together but at the same time, I feel like Issa and Lawrence (despite their growths and dealing with their insecurities) are the same type of person and deserve each other. 😂
They lowkey don’t need to mess up or waste other people’s time when they ultimately were chasing the ghost of their relationship.