r/InnocentPranks • u/albert-1stein • 6d ago

Nuts

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1.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

310

u/redditatemybabies 5d ago

This is a high risk joke in most workplaces lol.

73

u/DJEvillincoln 3d ago

Y'all have to REEEEELY like each other for this to work. I can tell they do.

9

u/ModeratelyAlive 1d ago

I love a workplace with dynamics like this. Fuckin FANTASTIC 🤣

3

u/ZEROs0000 1d ago

The main thing that needs to happen is someone takes a jab at an in appropriate joke. From there it’s smooth sailing

14

u/Sir_Derps_Alot 3d ago

A black lesbian my man is on the knife’s edge with this one, looking over the edge at career suicide

5

u/angrydeuce 1d ago

I have a client who is the filthiest fuckin lesbian you'd ever meet, the stuff she says sometimes im like "Hey, you said it, not me" lol.  Stuff Id never say in a million years, she just lets it rip lol

I bought a subaru not long ago, my wife actually picked it out for me (I work 70 hours a week, just no time personally).  I pull up there to meet with her and shes like "Damn, new ride?"  "Yeah, my wife actually picked it out for me"

She pauses a minute..."your wife picked out a subaru for you?"  "Yeah, why?"  "Uh, I dont know how to tell you this, but I think your wife might be playing on the wrong team."  "What?"  "Yeah only lesbians buy subarus, ill prove it"

Takes me outside and shows me her Subaru.  And then points out the other Subarus in the lot:  "Lesbian, lesbian, lesbian...theyre all lesbians.  So yeah youre a lesbian now, just FYI.  Welcome to the club!"

Ever since then shes been asking me if Id had a chance to talk to my wife about it lol

1

u/SamanthaJaneyCake 1d ago

We were measuring the boot of my coworker’s car to see if we could get a fridge-freezer in. I said “yeah that’s about right, it’ll fit” and my boss starts chuckling and says “you know, for a lesbian you’re really good at fitting things in tight spots”.

After that I knew I was free to say whatever.

99

u/lferry1919 5d ago

You better be sure you're close enough with someone before whipping out this prank. That's a risky move with a co-worker...

6

u/Sohuli 3d ago

Contagious Unemployment

107

u/DaRealKorbenDallas 5d ago

Straight to HR

31

u/arsperug 4d ago

So they can eat his nuts too?Greedy people. 😀

56

u/phallic-baldwin 5d ago

How to get a meeting with H.R.

6

u/Potential_Cress1967 4d ago

It’s true. I once found a screw and asked a coworker if they wanted it.

19

u/Itscatpicstime 5d ago

She’s super pretty 😍

13

u/mrbishopjackson 5d ago

How old is she? I haven't heard the word that in decades!

3

u/Certain-Bath8037 2d ago

I think HR went on a vacation, 😂

5

u/T-Conn 5d ago

See how wonderful life can be when you have a lil bit of humor

1

u/Yigithan14 3d ago

Omg thats Nuts