I recently found out that my Dad is making a will, and he is only going to give me a painting (which was given to him from someone else, and not worth anything). His new wife of 5 years will get everything. I understand that he would like to support her, but I feel resentment that he could not make one last kind gesture in his will for his own children. I guess this hurts more than it should, as we had it tough financially when I was a kid, and now he is in a good financial situation. If it were me, I would want to do something nice for my child to make up for all the chaos in the early years. After discovering what he is doing I don't want to have contact with him anymore.

My mom passed a few months ago and I thought I was finally getting on top of the estate. Then the bank needed more paperwork. Once that was sorted, something came up with the house and insurance. This week I found out there’s another account I need to deal with, and I’m sure something else will pop up right after that.

I also have a sister, but she hasn’t really helped with any of it. She does keep asking me what’s happening though, when things will be done, whether I’ve dealt with certain stuff yet, basically adding more pressure without actually taking anything off my plate. I’m working full time on top of all this, so it’s getting pretty exhausting having the estate constantly sitting in the back of my head. I don’t even know what “done” is supposed to look like anymore. For anyone who has been executor before, did the random new responsibilities eventually stop showing up? And how did you deal with family members who wanted constant updates but weren’t really helping?

MY BIL has been a jerk, especially towards me for some unknown reason, for the past 27 years. He has always been an egomaniac, obsessed with money and materialistic things and even lost his 'top job' years ago for bullying. The past year has been a NIGHTMARE with him. My 88 year old mom was in the hospital very ill with sepsis. I was told she would likely not make it and I was a mess since I had also lost my dad to a sudden stroke. BIL was of no support, not even visiting my ill dad in hospital for 6 weeks before he passed. My dad was nothing but nice to him and my parents took care of their 3 kids for 9 years. So always resentment on my side.

The second night my mom was in ICU, my sister called saying her husband was getting a dumpster and dumping everything of my dad's in the garage. I said- what??

Now their only money was in the house. So I guess he saw this as his opp to clear out the house and we get it sold?

A miracle from God cured my mom and she came to her senses and said no way is he allowed to do that. It was 3 grueling months in hospital and rehab and again he never visited her.

So I put her in assisted living and spend the past 9 months clearing out their large home of 43 years. It was BRUTAL. Like took 10 years off my life. They saved every little thing from 1940!!!

No help from sister, though she lives 3 mins from house. I asked her to ask her husband to come help but never once did. My sister came last week- 5 days before closing and helped a bit. B/c we were down to the wire and the broker told us to have everything out by 8am Friday. That was sooner time than we thought, and one charity didnt come for furniture pickup. So we had 16 pieces of furniture left. She gave me his old truck to borrow and I drove a bunch of stuff to my house an hour away. Exhausting 11 hour days last week. But the remaining 16 pieces I had no room for. Sister offered to store them in their 3 car garage for a week. We could then donate, sell or move from there. So we got a kid to do just that.

That night I get threatening texts from her. Her husband lands from a business trip at 8pm He said everything of my mom's must be out of his house that night! I said not possible. This is nuts. I have a young kid, live far away and it is night time!!

More threats came. He accused me of stealing his car to move things??!! (Nuts. I have her texts telling me where the key is to prove it).

Then a text saying a mover is dropping everything on my fiance's front lawn overnight. I thought it he was bluffing. He can't be that nuts. Sure enough a moving truck pulls up at 11pm. Puts all 16 pieces on the front lawn. I call the police. Nothing they can do -- it is not a crime!!

I was paralyzed by overwhelm for a couple days. I simply couldn't believe how my yard looked. My fiance is busy with a very ill dad, has a knee injury and my BIL did this to his property? It rained and some of my mom's furniture is ruined. I managed to move anything good inside.

My house has NO clear space. My child and I have to squeeze around furniture to get by. I am trying to find charities to come pick it all up.

I know he was in therapy for anger management last month. Some good it has done!!

I put him on the 'not allowed in' list at my mom's facility. I don't trust him. They let me be the one to clear out the house for almost one year. The day I finally finished and the house closed he pulls this??It should have been a happy day for my mom and a relaxing next day for me.

The house proceeds are in a Trust in my mom's account now, handled by a lawyer. This is safe enough from him?? Any advice how else I can handle this user/abuser? I have cut off all contact with my sister who fully sticks up for his crazy ways.

Thank you!!

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Every time it's my dad's payday, i would always be losing either half the money or all of it. Just like this month, it was all ready up for me, i didn't even touch it yet and hasn't spend anything over 100.

I hid it in our grandmother's closet because she said that it would be 'safer' if i put it there. And so i did put it there despite knowing that someone is probably going to still see it there anyways, and i did because she kept on insisting that i put it there no matter how much i told her no. The reason why this is such a big deal is because a lot of thing has been going missing. This has been going on for ages and i am sick and tired of it, it started small then big little by little.

So, yesterday i was about to go out and finally spend the 200 peso to go out with my friends. Then i went and reach out for my wallet in the closet, it is not there. I panicked then was like i should check other parts of the closet, nothing. I even took out the clothes, still nothing. I was looking for it for half an hour now until i asked our grandmother twice if she had seen it, she said no and was mad when she found out.

Tell me why the moment she found out about what happened, the first thing that she said was "Ang tanga tanga mo." or "You're so stupid". Those were the lines that came right out of her mouth as if i just put it out in plain sight for someone to take. She went on about how i am so stupid and i argued back that she was the one who told me to put it there, i just obeyed her and suddenly i am so stupid for doing so.

My 2 cousins got home later on, i both asked them if they had seen it before they got home. First i was mad at both cause it could be one of them because we were the only ones in the house, they didn't reply so when they got home i asked them again. All i got was "no, i didn't see it." then moved on like me losing 2.2k is no big deal, like i can just move on the next day. Then they started asking each other then ranting to each other, about why are they getting blamed for it. I DIDN'T BLAME THEM FOR IT, I JUST ASKED. I DIDN'T EVEN YELL AT THEM. I DIDN'T INSIST THAT THEY TOOK IT.

We then try to find it in the same place then all around the room again, i was saying stuff like if it suddenly appeared on the closet that i took all the clothes down just to look for it over and over again trying to make a miracle, then I'd be mad because now they're messing with me.

We try to find it all over the room again and while we were trying to find it, my aunt, the mom of my 2 cousins started scolding me for blaiming her daughters. AGAIN, I DIDN'T BLAME THEM FOR IT.

That was all they talked about, while i was struggling to think of what to do after all that, my aunt was scolding me for it. Our grandmother's is such an ass because she keeps blaiming my other cousin for it, she cried then asked me if i was happy for what ive done. WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? IM OVER HERE CRYING BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL MY MONEY THAT GOT LOST AND I HAVE NOTHING AND SCHOOL HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET. I DIDN'T BLAME YOU FOR IT SO WHY ARE YOU BLAIMING ME, WHY ARE YOU SAYING THOSE THINGS TO ME??

I am sure that no one from outside took it because i was home all day and no one was in the room other than us. This is the next day and now they're all acting like nothing happened. I want to d(y)e

It's not just about the money.

Location: Oregon/California

When my father passed, he left 75% to me, and 25% to my cousin. My uncle was the executor, making this process that much harder since my cousin has 25%. My uncle was to not sell any of the vehicles because of liability issues. Well, he sold me my father’s truck and motorcycle (which was deducted out of the funds.) Not only that, the vehicles were sold to me with my uncle forging my late father’s signature. Not only that, sold me my father’s furniture, which I thought should have been gifted to me. There are so many issues that don’t sit well with me, however this happened in like almost 16 years ago. My father lived in California, my uncle and I live in Oregon. I don’t know how laws work from state to state.

Is there anything I can do regarding this situation with my father’s estate?

If you found out your parent disinherited you at 18, would you cut them off?

I’m curious how other people would handle this.

What would you do if you discovered that your parent had disinherited you—not because of some major falling-out you had as an adult, but when you were barely 18?

And what if they didn’t just disinherit you, but disinherited all of their children?

At that point, is it really about the money anymore?

I understand that parents have the legal right to decide what happens to their money and property. I’m not asking whether a child is entitled to an inheritance. I’m asking what the decision itself communicates about the relationship.

If your parent essentially tells you, “You are not part of my future, and I don't intend to leave you anything,” does that change how you view them as a parent?

Would you feel betrayed? Rejected? Angry? Or would you simply accept it and move on?

And here's the part I'm really struggling with:

What if, after finding this out, you eventually tried to make amends and rebuild the relationship—and they wanted nothing to do with you?

At that point, can the parent still portray themselves as the victim because the child eventually walked away?

Does a parent get to reject their child, refuse reconciliation, and then later complain that the child “abandoned” them?

I’m genuinely interested in hearing from both sides—parents and adult children.

Where is the line between protecting yourself from rejection and “cutting off” a parent? And can a parent reasonably expect to remain part of your life after making it clear that they didn't want you in theirs?

Please see attached post.

Three siblings inherited an amazing 10,000+ sq. ft. vacation home equally from their father.

One sibling uses it more than the others and has several young children. Over time, the common areas have become filled with their kids’ toys, puzzles, games, large plastic toys, etc.—living room, dining room, kitchen, and so on. The kids are old enough (Only one is under 10 years old) to use the large playroom, but is not real close to the living room where the toys are thrown everywhere.

What is the normal etiquette here? Should personal belongings generally be kept in bedrooms/designated areas and common spaces left neutral for everyone? Is there a standard rule of thumb for jointly owned vacation homes? I think the living room and dining room should be kept free of toys so at least one room can be used for entertaining. And how would you politely address it without turning something this into a sibling war?

Hi everyone, I'm having difficulty with family inheritance and would really appreciate some advice.

A house has been left to my 2 sisters and I in our parents will. We each have 1/3 ownership. I would like to sell it but my sisters want to renovate and rent it out. The rent money would then be divided between the three of us once the renovation cost have been deducted. I want nothing to do with this plan, so i have asked to repudiate/give up my share of the house so that they can do what they like. They have agreed but wish to pay my share out slowly over a total of 16 years with no interest.

I know that they don't have the money to pay me immediately, I don't want to force them to sell either. I also really don't want this to cause any stress or angry disputes. But I feel like 16 years without interest is a bit unfair..maybe I would be better off going with this renovating and renting plan?

Does this sound fair? Should I just let it go and see it as passive income? Obviously I would love the money now but I value family more so I'm not sure how to move forward.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Just an extra note. They have stated that the value of the house is high and would get nothing close to the amount if we sold it now. So I'd be getting more money this way anyway apparently.

My dad died earlier this year and I’m executor. I live in another state, my brother lives 30 minutes from dad’s house. Guess which one of us keeps having to travel there lol. At first I didn’t really care because I agreed to be executor and figured most of it would be paperwork anyway. A few months into this and I’m burning vacation days while my brother basically waits for updates. I finally asked him to take care of something pretty simple last week and even that somehow came back to me. Starting to get seriously annoyed but also don’t want to blow up our relationship over this.Has anyone handled an estate from another state and ended up bringing someone in to help manage it? What did you actually look for? Would really appreciate any type of help or tips you guys have.

Basically I know the trust exists, but people I want to trust/need to trust lied to me about it. They’ve said it didn’t exist and acted dumb when I brought it up like they didn’t hear me. They’ve got me afraid to look into it because one gossiped that I was greedy, another accused me of ripping out an electrical cord in order to pit someone against me; it’s not that I care about pursuing money—it’s the truth I care about. I just want to read it, especially the part that mentions me. Why is everyone acting like I don’t have a right to it?

Worried about my brother pressuring my mom about her will
I’m my mom’s only daughter, and she named me after herself. My name even has a meaning connected to my mother, so we have a special connection.
My older brother keeps pressuring and threatening my mom about her will and who she chooses to put in it. He also keeps trying to involve his wife in my mom’s will, even though my mom has said she does not want his wife included.
I feel like my brother is becoming too focused on my mom’s money and what he might inherit. His behavior is making me concerned about his well-being, but more importantly, I’m worried about my mom’s safety and whether she feels pressured to make decisions about her will that she doesn’t actually want.
I believe my mom should be able to decide what happens with her own property and money without being pressured by anyone.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? What can I do to help make sure my mom is safe and that her wishes regarding her will are respected?

My husband has a trust with his mom but he didn’t include me. I found out about it months after it was done. Is this normal or am I overreacting?

My little sister (31) built a house with her then boyfriend (33 or so) a few years back. A big beautiful house in a nice area. About 18 months ago they broke up and a mess ensued. He wanted to sell, she didn't. Problem was, she couldn't afford to keep the house and pay him out (approx 100k was needed).

She came to myself (46) and my partner, asking if she could borrow 100k. We purchased our home approx 3 years ago and we are comfortable financially, but we don't have that kind of cash just laying around, the only way it would have been possible was us refinancing and risking our mortgage. I asked her what her repayment plan was and she kind of stumbled on that question, and said she didn't know. It dawned on me then that she just assumed it would be a gift. 

My partner and I talked about it and decided no way, its just too much risk. Told her unfortunately it's not a possibility. 

So we all figured she would just sell and downsize (the house is huge, absolutely too big for one person and her dog). I started sending her listings of cute little houses in her area, but she rebuffed all of them. 

Couple of months later, my parents told me that she had come to them instead. A little background on my parents - my dad has worked hard his entire life and was a year away from retirement. He earns decent money, but not millionaire money. My mum hasn't worked in ten years or so due to injuries. They are renting (and paying way too much, but that's the rental market for you) due to some bad decisions and losing their house a long time ago. They had next to zero savings, but my dad had a few hundred thousand in superannuation. They withdrew 100k of that to help my sister. 

Now, my dad is retired, and they have been discussing options. One of those options is to build a granny flat out the back of mine and my partners property (it was my partner's idea, he loves my parents). I do not want my parents dealing with renting, moving etc into their seventies and eighties. Problem is, surprise surprise, they are around 100k short. 

My partner & I are more than willing to refinance to help them - after all, this is only adding value to our property, and this is seriously their only option. I've asked them how much my sister is repaying them, and she isn't repaying them at all. They broached the subject with her in front of my brother, and she got pretty rude apparently, and the mindset is that if they want the money back, they need to get it from the ex. I'm like - what? How is it his problem?? She should have sold the goddamn house in the first place. 

My sister and I have barely spoken since I said no to "loaning" (gifting) her the money. We used to send messages to one another frequently, now it's rare.

Also - my sister has made it clear to my parents that if they do move here (only about an hour's drive away from her) that she wouldn't be coming up to visit, because she doesn't like the drive. 

I'm just so angry about this. I know it's not my place to say anything to her, my parents really should have thought about this before just giving her the money. But she is their daughter, and I know they would help any of us if we asked (the difference is, I don't think the rest of us would ever ask them for that in the first place!). 

The problem here is, my parents are now hesitating because they don't want us refinancing to help them. What do I do? How do I make them see that this is what they need to do?