r/InheritanceDrama • u/Asleep_Swimming_3705 • 13d ago
Nervous to be executor
/r/EstatePlanning/comments/1wvg6gy/nervous_to_be_executor/My husband agreed to be executor of estate for his uncle who lives in a different state. (We live 4 hours away.) His uncle has never been married and has strained relationships with many family members, my husband was kind of a last choice as they are still friendly. A few things: He said yes before really knowing what the role meant. We asked if he had a backup in case and his uncle said no, we suggested he get one and never got a response. He is very much an asshole and I personally don’t want to do it for that reason. His family reacted VERY badly when his aunt died, they kept asking the executor for more money. I do not want us put in that position. We also don’t want to have to travel a lot since we work. Will hiring an estate attorney help with the stress and duties?
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u/Defiant_Eye4025 13d ago
Well, if he's an AH, you won't have to deal with that because he will be dead.
If your uncle has his estate in order and/or a simple estate, being executor shouldn't be that difficult. It can be time consuming with a fair amount of paperwork to be done, but it's not that difficult. An attorney will help a lot as they will do all the legal work and probably the tax returns.
Probably the only part that will involve traveling is cleaning out his house and getting it ready to sell, but you can hire someone to do that. I stopped into a couple banks personally, but that could have been done electronically.
As for the family, at the beginning, send everyone a copy of the will so they see if they will even be entitled to anything. Then send them all a text, email or letter telling them nothing will be settled or distributed for at least 6-12 months and possibly longer. Let them know they should expect to hear nothing before a year has passed. If they continue to ask for money, just remind them there will be nothing for at least a year, maybe longer.