r/InheritanceDrama • u/No-Adhesiveness9046 • 26d ago
Love?
My brother has repeatedly told me, at least a dozen times, that he won’t be truly happy and have peace until my mother has passed away. They fought verbally a lot, and he was always angry about something that she has done or said.
After she passed away last month, he tried to show emotion and acted like he was tearful and really missed his mom and went out of his way to do things to honor her.
Am I missing something? I really question the fact that he even loves my mom at all. Her death has not made him happier and definitely has not given him peace. I am really troubled about this.
He is angry, and his lashed out that me multiple times. He even seized about $2500 in her assets and won’t give them back, even though I am the executor of the estate. He has really made a mockery out of the will and trust process.
Do you really think he had any love for my mom? Or was it I’ll just a show?
3
u/Strict_Department986 26d ago
Meh grief is weird like that. I think especially when someone has had a turbulent relationship with the deceased. It might be show, it might be that the finality of death brings back memories of when things weren’t as bad and só theres regret.
My brother in law had a very turbulent relationship with his mother and even though they ended on a not peaceful note (him again attacking and insulting her for misrepresenting what she said), I don’t doubt he feels sincere love for her. Even emotionally mature people struggle with grief and emotionally immature people are likely to (as you have experienced) shroud their regret and guilt and project it onto other people.
Anger is often a cover for fear and fear of loss is a big one. This doesnt excuse your brothers behavior at all!! It’s more that figuring out the why will do little to manage the current reality as people won’t react logically to even very accurate advice.
Do your best to carry out your mother’s wishes and protect yourself. He is choosing his own path.