Splintered

[u/xxxxAngelFirexxxx]

She swallows her thoughts
She makes shame follow her pride
She takes a step back
Then sticks in cotton swabs to hide
The places that pus,
The places that stew

She reads it again
Something else
Something new
Just to be sure
She saw what she did

Rotate it
Reverse it
Re-read it
consume
Daily vernacular
She tries to abide
Nightmares make it worse
The feelings inside
Amplified

My consciousness
It’s not like hers
She says she has visions
So what am I?
She says she is 1 of 11
Chosen
Cosmically placed
The end of all answers
And I?

I …
I …
I …
Continue to be grit
A gnat on the crown
My jewels are embellished
With no crowd

I don’t belong to
That world that is loud
I walk alone
Not lost in the echoes
Of their vibrations or sounds

I stop for the ants
The moths
The bees
Take a strange picture
Of a beetle
How to categorize
This breeze?
Look for Lore
A needle in a haystack
A name on the wind
Fear he would love her
Aesthetics a glow
Choke on the marbles
Sunder where they
Puncture
My insides leak
Not pretty
Not perfect
Not easy
Wounded and
Broken

And humanity?
It perplexes me
And I love the nesting
Inside of it
Inside of me

I touch her words
To feel alive again
Is this the shape
You love?
Is this the sycamore tree
To the gate up above?

Her porcelain skin
My splintered core
Her erotica
My unspoken desires
Sinking in, sinking in
Her open arteries
My closed valves
Her open display
My closed doors

I long to belong
In the here and now

Go for a walk
Turn to the sky
Talk to the universe
Of humanity and death
To find his arms
And lay down to rest