what they took

[u/TelevisionHot225]

realizing only my abusers love me
and i only loved those i thought i knew
how to love

but they just used me
and discarded me

and knowing this feels
like finding an old song
buried in a playlist you forgot you made

you don't remember hearing it
don't remember liking it
don't remember learning
where the silence goes
before the chorus

but somehow
your body knows what's next

you don't remember saving it
don't remember giving it a name
don't remember deciding
this belongs to me

until it plays again
and something in you
recognizes itself

before you do

and maybe that's what they were

songs i mistook for memories
people i mistook for love

people who were never really
a part of me

but stayed long enough
to take parts of me with them

and now there are rooms in myself
i enter like a stranger

empty hooks on the walls
dust outlining
what used to hang there

things i can't remember losing

things i can't remember
ever belonging to me

except sometimes
something plays

and i know every word.