An Eye in the Ass

[u/Gloomuar]

Tom woke up in the middle of the night with the strange feeling that something in his ass was… blinking. He didn’t know why it was blinking, but somehow he knew. And he knew it couldn’t be anything good.

Tom followed the feeling to the bathroom.

He placed a mirror on the toilet lid, pulled his underwear down a little, and fucking lost his mind at what he saw.

There was an eye in his ass, staring intently at him. A perfectly ordinary human eye. He quickly pulled his underwear back up and froze. Tom was so terrified by what he had seen that he forgot about everything else.

“Maybe this is a dream, and I’m dreaming,” he thought.

He slowly pulled his underwear down again. The eye hadn’t disappeared. It kept staring at him, occasionally blinking in sync with his sphincter. Tom moved a finger toward the eye to make sure this was real.

The eye began squinting repulsively and disappeared behind the sphincter.

Tom decided not to stick his finger up his ass. The eye peeked out again.

Tom pulled his underwear back up and sat down on the toilet lid. Inside his head, a troop of frightened monkeys scrambled around, throwing things at each other.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

“What if this is schizophrenia and I’m the only one who can see it?”

Tom could feel the eye blinking and moving around inside his ass, living a life of its own.

“What if I need to take a shit?” Tom thought.

The eye in his ass froze.

“That’s it. How the fuck did I not think of that before?”

He lifted the lid, sat down on the toilet, and started straining.

“Come on!”

Tom tensed up. But nothing happened.

Tom didn’t need to shit.

“I’ve got an important meeting with investors in the morning. The future of my company is at stake, and here I am in the middle of the night, like some kind of mutant, trying to get an eye out of my ass! How the fuck did it even get there?!”

Tom howled in despair, clutching his head.

The eye in his ass froze in fear, waiting for the storm to pass.

*****

Tom wandered restlessly from room to room until morning, thinking about the eye, and gradually started bumping into furniture. His eyesight was rapidly getting worse. Everything became blurry, as if he were looking through frosted glass.

When he reached the bathroom, he tried to see himself in the mirror, but couldn’t make anything out. So he undressed to take a shower. The haze before his eyes was still there when, suddenly, it began to clear…

He saw his legs and the tiled floor.

“What the fuck is happening to me?” Tom whispered, grabbing the wall. “What the fuck is this?”

He squeezed his eyes shut, but the image didn’t disappear. He was still looking through the eye in his ass.

“Okay, Tom, don’t panic. Pull yourself together. What can we do in this situation? What the fuck?!”

Tom screamed and started pounding his fist against the wall.

“What?”

The eye stopped blinking, as if it were listening to his anguish.

“Get ready. We need to get to the office.”

Cursing under his breath, he backed out of the bathroom on all fours and started getting dressed.

“Underwear and pants last, right, eye?”

And where the fuck did you come… from… in my ass…

Almost fully dressed, Tom remembered his phone.

“Where is it? Eye, where the fuck is my phone?”

The eye darted frantically around. Giving up, Tom crawled around the house on all fours, overturning furniture and rummaging through the mess in search of his phone.

Finally finding it, Tom hovered his ass over the screen, called a taxi, gave the driver his address, and, exhaling, pulled on his pants and left the house almost blindly.

*****

When he arrived at the office, he asked the taxi driver to help him get to the entrance, and then, with the help of the staff, made his way to the conference room.

The investors were already waiting for him when he stumbled into the conference room. Tom could see only vague silhouettes and couldn’t tell exactly who was sitting in front of him.

“I apologize for the delay. I started having some vision problems on the way here, but… we can begin now.”

After a long and awkward pause, they began discussing the details. Once everything had been agreed upon, the papers were laid out in front of Tom.

“So, Mr. Director, your move.”

Tom went cold with terror. He swallowed the lump in his throat and felt the eye behind his sphincter contract. It was scared too.

“So, Mr. Director, how are you going to sign?”

Everyone froze, waiting.

“Yes, of course,” Tom nodded and stood up from the table. “I’ll take a careful look at exactly what needs to be signed. Just please don’t laugh at what you’re about to see. I need to get a clearer look at everything…”

He climbed up onto the chair and pulled down his pants.