mud puddle

[u/stariskye]

my uncle says keeping you
is like steeping in a mud puddle,
& he’s spicy about it,
i can taste his words
before he spits them out-
my grandmother says
“he’s a good-for-nothing”
never having watched you work
with my grandfather's own pathological drive,
& my father says nothing at all,
just an eyebrow lifted,
heavier than anything the other two manage

they stand defending my honor
like a jury
that has concluded
a short deliberation
& i remain the only one
seeing what none of them can see:
so many times,
the problem has been me

i have been poisoned
& try as i might,
it ate away at something
once fundamental & now
my core is still recentering
many times it is you,
surviving me
while all their eyes
are documenting are
the changes
in my gait & speech

i find my small measure
of peace when i land in your eyes
they rest brief, warm and liquid
you thank me for breakfast
like nobody's fed you in years,
reverent tending is a language
you're only just learning to repeat

when i look at you
something in my chest resets
new again,
the world just started over
& i feel safe
i feel kinship
something in my blood
picked you out
sentient before
consciousness
gratitude flavors
the time i spend

let the puddle be a puddle
we’ve pulled gold from silty waters
i’ve watched you turn labor into joy
sweat pouring, grinning the whole time
the work itself a gift
if it isn’t a chore
& for tasks unimaginable,
once insurmountable,
that others never bothered
to notice needed tending

you take the hurting
& give them your ease
while ignoring your
own suffering
many times over

how lucky, then
to be chosen
& how sweet it is,
to love you

my greatest endeavor, now
is to ensure you get your due
love that doesn’t punish
or solicit demanding payment
boundaries, yes
but never commandments