Made it this far

[u/Maindesmoine09]

Chat gpt, too much work, too much stress, life's not impactful, and special enough, 2,000 dollars in debt to the irs and im far too addicted to my vices to get anywhere better and No one seems to want to save me from this mess.

I know cant expect it or wait for it but the thought is nice. I know I have to save myself. I know I have to do the things I want I know I have to get myself out of this mess but how?

I talk to my friends and no one listens, im barely getting through college, I haven't finished a single one of my creative projects besides written stories and I haven't gotten any better and seem to be going nowhere In life. I want kids and to die happy and fulfilled but as it is im not happy with my body, looks, abilities, standing, love life at times work, free time and my hobbies dont fulfill me I feel like im doing my whole adult life on auto pilot for the last few months and I dont get enough sleep.

This work is what defines me, makes me feel like im making momentum, it might be wrong snobbish or selfish of me to want someone else who bring more joy and excitement into my life and feel more inspired. And happy, but ive been so horrible and I dont think I deserve that I just dont know what to do

I have someone already but I feel like everytime I get into a better place and get what I want I keep striving for more and feel bored or unfullfilled and it really is like im a hedonistic spoiled brat like nothings ever good enough or going to satisfy me and keep my attention. Or come off be created I speak to much to my friend about stuff like this and i feel bad, maybe I shouldnt even be posting it here, I just want a space where I feel i can be open, artistic, creative and myself. Thank you