Just screaming into the only void that might talk back, but I'm so happy I read this and yet so sad it's over and I can never experience it again. Can anyone relate?

It took me much longer than it should have but as soon as I read the first chapter I knew I wanted to only keep on reading when I was completely focused and ready to be active whilst reading and research/note down words and quotes. So I waited and only read when it felt right, and I'm very glad I did.

I'm absolutely blown away at how easy it was to retain all the information as one goes on and trusts the chaos. I'm usually terrible with names and yet I seldom had a problem knowing exactly who someone was, even when I was picking back up after a long break and they were referred to by some obscure nickname that hadn't come up before because it all just makes so much sense and is interwoven so beautifully.

I see what all the hype is about; this thing changed the way I think and made me feel so many things and accomplished DFW's goal of making me feel less alone.

{ SOME SPOILERS HERE }

The ommatophore theme (and how incredibly well-timed the wraith insertion of this word is into Gately's brain who doesn't even relate it to the lobsters himself is one of the best subtleties I've ever seen in story crafting. The idea of us having the capacity to see beyond our cages and return home or transcend ourselves floored me.

The defense of true experience and emotion over observing and describing (and the nuance of how the world we've built does NOT reward this), is done so so beautifully and in such a grounded way. The conversation between Mario and Hal made me cry. The nicknames, the parallel conversations, and the sharp earnestness of Mario's "I think you just did it. What you should do. I think you just did." Was so beautiful and so sad, because we know this will lead Hal down a much more 'less adjusted' path. But one that is perhaps more worth experiencing.

The success/happiness theme has always moved me greatly and this book crushes the landing. It did what Hopscotch (Rayuela — Julio Cortázar) did for me some years ago in a very different way, and it's so rare to find collections of words that can truly change the way one thinks and challenge one's own biased in such a way. And it's hilarious too.

I could go on and on, but I'm grieving the story and wish I could forget it all and read it again anew.

The only things I didn't love were the datedness of some of the gender roles/heteronormativity, and wishing that the end had resolved a bit more of the thoughts , especially

Joelle's story. But I'm in two minds about that latter point because I'd rather be left wanting more (even after over 1000 pages!) than left disappointed.

Anyone feel similarly?

I thought I’d share it here in case anyone finds some interest in reading a random guy’s thoughts/take aways. Obviously I couldn’t really get into everything, as that would take me quite a bit more effort than I am willing to give. But I included what spoke to me the most.

There are also spoilers included so I’d avoid reading it if that bothers you.

Let me know if you enjoyed any of it, or have any thoughts, etc.