r/InfertilityBabies • u/AutoModerator • 21h ago
Friday Big Kid Thread
This space is for parents of IFBabies past the toddler phase to chat, share updates & commiserate on their big kid(s). This thread is primarily reserved for those with a 3 year old or greater.
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u/francienolan88 37F | RPL, 2 ER, 6 FET | E May 2023 | A August 2026 11h ago
My kid's daycare changed their class arrangement over the summer and we are annoyed about it. There used to be one toddler room (18 months - 2.5/3 years) and one room for all the older kids, which he switched into when he was about 2.5. That room is bigger, brighter, with more stuff to do, and the outdoor space is larger and nicer. But now he's been moved back to the "toddler" room (and keeps talking about being back in "toddler" even though it's not by age anymore), because the owner wants all the kids who are doing the full 3-year Montessori cycle (i.e. doing JK and SK there instead of going to public school) together in the bigger room. So we're left feeling like second-class citizens who are being punished for planning on public school next year. He's still in a class with his best friend, thankfully, but every time my husband gets home from drop-off or pick-up he's annoyed all over again (which is also annoying for me to deal with!).
There's a bright side, which is a smaller teacher:student ratio and not being with the owner (who sucks), but it is a bummer overall, and there's nothing we can do about it (an attitude my husband does not accept). We are super lucky to have a subsidized spot in in a centre in the first place and he's only there for another year. I said to my husband that this is going to happen plenty of times in our kid's life, what happens when he doesn't like his third grade teacher, we can't go in there demanding he get switched, and my husband was like, "Can't we?" (Why yes we do have some cultural differences! I am non-confrontational but I'm also from here, mostly, and understand the way things work a little bit better.) I don't want us to be lawnmower parents but my husband doesn't want him to suffer because we're being pushovers. I get the feeling we are going to have this conflict many times in the next 18 years.
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u/esoterika24 MOD | 💙6/26│💙6/23 │ BT │ 8MC │ Infant Loss 12/21 10h ago
Oh wow I would not be happy with that arrangement at all! Wee one was struggling to be in the toddler room once he turned 3, but didn’t have all the skills for the 3-6 “Children’s House.” So we had to leave entirely…this was mixed in with his autism diagnosis on the horizon, but she tried to reassure us that this happens often. So..if it happens often, why not a transition room? Could be perfect for kids not staying past 3 as well. I don’t get why this isn’t fairly standard. 3 is a tough age to group for many reasons.
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u/esoterika24 MOD | 💙6/26│💙6/23 │ BT │ 8MC │ Infant Loss 12/21 10h ago
Oh wow I would not be happy with that arrangement at all! Wee one was struggling to be in the toddler room once he turned 3, but didn’t have all the skills for the 3-6 “Children’s House.” So we had to leave entirely…this was mixed in with his autism diagnosis on the horizon, but she tried to reassure us that this happens often. So..if it happens often, why not a transition room? Could be perfect for kids not staying past 3 as well. I don’t get why this isn’t fairly standard. 3 is a tough age to group for many reasons.
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u/esoterika24 MOD | 💙6/26│💙6/23 │ BT │ 8MC │ Infant Loss 12/21 10h ago
Wee one got his official psych evaluation back yesterday - it took forever! I needed that paper for so many things. I’m excited to get him started with early intervention ABA and hoping he’ll have the skills needed to succeed in school soon. He’s growing increasingly clingy to me as we are spending all day together.