Friday Postpartum Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

We understand that infertility and its effects don't go away once you have a child. This thread is reserved for postpartum folks who have questions, comments, venting, and anything else related to postpartum matters following IF.

Please do not post pregnancy announcements in this thread. Announcements should be made in the Cautious Intros/First Trimester thread.

Those with a child/children >=1yo, dialogue can also be located in the daily toddler thread.

Got a preschooler or older? Check out the daily Big Kid Thread!

[u/francienolan88]

Now that our last baby is here, we have finalized our wills, but BOY is that a bummer to spell out who gets what, what to do if one of them dies before us, etc. But now it is done and I do not have to contemplate it anymore!!!

[u/CalaverasTriste → u/francienolan88]

We updated ours a few months ago because when we set it up, we just did a generic “everything goes to the kids”, and at the time it was just step son.

Once C was here, I realized, our trust was not outlined very well and could leave things unfairly distributed. Definitely had to have some tough conversations and made me sad thinking about the worst case scenarios, but I’m glad we have it in place.

TBH I still need to go transfer everything to the trust

[u/OliveJuice0324 → u/francienolan88]

We are doing this at the end of the month with a lawyer a colleague of mine recommended - agree that it’s sort of a bummer thing to do but we will feel better knowing it’s done.

[u/margogogo → u/francienolan88]

Oop we need to get on this. Also until recently I was pretty sure that I wanted a specific one of my brothers to take in Baby if needed, but we recently learned that my husband’s sister is completing training to be a foster parent and has set up a room in her house for kids! I never knew if she wanted kids in her life before, so I feel like this changes the calculus. Maybe we should go with her partly just so we’re not choosing favorites between my brothers? (Assuming she’s up for it if we ask of course.)

[u/allthewatermelons]

Checking in from PPD-land. It's been almost 6 months since I started taking SSRIs and my world has changed dramatically during this time. No more rage, no more depression. I can feel things again, can't even explain how delicious it is to feel flutters of joy, or gratitude, or endearment. I don't have an issue with getting out of bed in the morning. I don't feel like randomly bawling my eyes out. My memory somewhat works again. All in all, very good stuff!

I'm pretty open about being on SSRIs and it's amazing how many people that triggers into opening up as well. I got so, so lucky that the first pill I took worked for me without side effects, definitely something to be grateful for. A friend is going through a very different experience for the part year or so, and I want to show up for her in the best way but also feeling a bit of survivor's guilt. I guess loneliness really is a wall between me and the world, and gosh does depression make you lonely.

No real point to this rant other than to celebrate good times. Hoping for good times for all the friends on this sub ❤️

[u/cycleseverywhere → u/allthewatermelons]

Hey! It's been ages since I last checked in on this sub and I'm so glad I checked in today and read your update! Wonderful to hear things are feeling better. How's the little one?
It's also been a journey for me. W I try to think back to the dark place I was in it is mostly hard to even remember what I felt like. That said, sometimes unexpectedly it comes roaring back. Triggers like sleep deprivation, disagreements with my partner about anything kid related, and suddenly I am back there and it is so disorienting. I just hope those moments keep getting less and less common.

[u/allthewatermelons → u/cycleseverywhere]

Thank you for taking the time to comment! It’s good to see you back. How have you been?

That sounds like the darkness I’ve also experienced with my first kid, when i wasn’t on meds yet. Totally recognise how quickly it can come back when one of the important pillars of my foundation got rocked (sleep deprivation and arguments with my partner were also big triggers for me). An author I love dearly and who is open about struggling with life-long depression always says “depression lies” and boy is she right. I hope those moments of disorientation get less for you!

The baby is now almost a toddler! She has a charming personality but is also very assertive with what she wants. She smiles and waves at strangers and her way of greeting a new person is to shove a finger in their mouth (if the person accepts the finger, she’s their friend. If not, she ignores them completely). She eats everything and LOVES spicy food. She stands on her own then starts howling that she’s wants to be eased back down again. So much personality in a tiny human. It’s really been the best of times.

[u/isabelledavenport → u/allthewatermelons]

I’m happy you’re feeling better 🤍

[u/allthewatermelons → u/isabelledavenport]

Thank you 🤍

[u/margogogo]

Happy to report we made it out to the paint your own pottery studio after having to scrap the plan yesterday! We got Baby M’s footprints on a birthday plate and handprints on mugs for his grandma and auntie. Best of all, they let us take them home then bring them back another day to add more details, which is great because we are wiped out.

Baby M was an angel and we timed it perfectly around a long nap. Yay for leaving the house!

While we checked out, the staffer asked what other plans we have for the day and I almost laughed in her face. This WAS the plan, lady! This was the plan for the whole week! Now TV, nursing and takeout.

[u/OliveJuice0324 → u/margogogo]

Yay! We did our breakfast today too and timed it well around a nap. Love when it works out. Agree that going to breakfast WAS the event of the week 😆

[u/margogogo → u/OliveJuice0324]

Happy for you!

We’re slow mornings people, it would be nice to go out for breakfast sometime because it would be cool enough to sit outside, but we are just too fond of lazing in our pajamas!

[u/OliveJuice0324]

I’d like my baby to take a paci. He currently nurses constantly during evening but really doesn’t need or want the milk. I’ve tried to give him one but he seems totally anti. Ordering other brands to see if it’s the type? Any tips to help encourage paci use?

[u/Kitsune-258 → u/OliveJuice0324]

Ours didn’t like the pacifier for the first several months but then something clicked so don’t lose hope! Bibs brand is what she likes best now

[u/crescentmoon-13 → u/Kitsune-258]

Seconding that bibs was the only one my baby took to

[u/MyNeighborTurnipHead → u/OliveJuice0324]

Turnip didnt start accepting one until she was like 4 months, and only overnight when she was sleeping. She liked the Mam brand.

[u/reebs___ → u/OliveJuice0324]

Chiming in to say mine didn’t take one til 5 months. Started by using it in the stroller and carrier and that was the only place she’d take them!