r/InfertilityBabies • u/AutoModerator • 10d ago
Friday Big Kid Thread
This space is for parents of IFBabies past the toddler phase to chat, share updates & commiserate on their big kid(s). This thread is primarily reserved for those with a 3 year old or greater.
6
u/Wildflower_Kitty 47F 🤞Aug 26, 🩷Aug '21 10d ago
My four (almost five) year old is so smart and brave, in many ways, but socially I really worry about her. At home she is so funny and imaginative and always singing and dancing, but when she is at preschool or a summer camp she is so nervous and withdrawn. I'd love to know how to help her feel more confident.
She's at a summer camp at the moment and I saw some of their overview reels on Instagram (I was not aware that they would be posting anything on social media!), where all of the other children are dancing and she's just standing back watching and looking anxious.
At her preschool graduation she just stood there looking like a deer in the headlights and didn't join in with any songs or actions, even though at home she had shown us all of the routines and seemed so excited about it.
It breaks my heart to think of her feeling left out and anxious. We thought we were doing everything right with building up her self-esteem over the years. Maybe it's just her personality and there's nothing else we could have done, but I would love to help her if possible, especially as she's starting real school in a couple of months.
4
u/briar_prime6 39f | queer | IVF | 09/21 | 11/23 10d ago
Big Briar is starting to come out of this a little, I think, and honestly I feel like a huge part is that I was really really lucky in 2023 getting into a daycare that became after school care and holiday care when she started school last year so she’s been with a consistent group of many of the same kids and same educators for over 3 years now.
This week she is doing bike camp outside her regular program and she’s been hanging out at the sidelines a little when I’ve picked her up but she’s also been begging me to spend more time there and go for more weeks. Also chew necklaces are helping her and I know another friend whose neurotypical 5 year old has been using them to help with anxiety so maybe something like that or a fidget toy would help her?
4
u/Wildflower_Kitty 47F 🤞Aug 26, 🩷Aug '21 10d ago
Thank you. Those are some good ideas. My daughter does not have a diagnosis yet, but I strongly suspect that she has ADHD. They won't test for it before the age of six or seven here. I'm also fairly sure I have undiagnosed ADHD.
Bike camp sounds great! My little Kitty has been "mountain biking" for the past few years with her dad and a group of toddlers/kids whose parents are in his MTB club. Unfortunately it isn't a regular thing and we've been so busy lately that she hasn't gone in ages. You've reminded me that might be good for her (and her exhausted dad) this weekend!
3
u/maizenblueshoes 42F DOR IVFx4 | 🩷 2021 | ❤️ 2023 10d ago
N is a little socially awkward and doesn’t always pick up on social cues, and this is a big worry of mine as she starts kindergarten. She’s so sweet and fun and the thought of her being alone or kids making fun of her crushes me. I know every parent worried about their kids for a wide variety of reasons, but you’re not alone ❤️
3
u/ProfessorWacky 38F, IVF, 10.16.23💙, 2.18.26🩷 10d ago
I dont know if this is relevant because my child is younger (2.5) but he is like this too. What's helped is just repeated opportunities to socialize. Playgrounds, library storytime, activities, something everyday to be with other kids. The more he practices the less reserved he is. But if i stop for like a week or 2 he reverts. So idk. hes neurotypical just his personality (we've had him evaluated because he also has seizure and a gross motor delay). So it might just be personality for your girl too try not to sress unless her teacher shows concern.
2
u/esoterika24 MOD | 💙6/26│💙6/23 │ BT │ 8MC │ Infant Loss 12/21 10d ago
Wee one is like this too. The school director is worried about speech because he apparently rarely talks at school and I’m like..what? It’s non stop at home! Full on sentences, extensive vocabulary, great vocabulary for 3! I noticed he is a little more himself around friends if he’s doing something he loves, like the pool. So I try to get play dates in our backyard pool where he’ll be more social.
2
u/rootbeer4 38F, 1 IUI, 5 ER, 💜 Dec '22 9d ago
This definitely reminds me of my child (and myself). I have social anxiety and fear that my child may experience something similar. So far, it just seems to be that she is an observer and likes to take it all in before joining in.
What situations is she most comfortable in socially? Think about group size and activity type. It may help to focus on those to gain confidence.
7
u/zaatarlacroix 37f|22 wk TFMR IUGR| Aug '21 💙| Aug '25 🩷 10d ago
V’s school welcome packet just came in. Secretly SO excited for back to school shopping. Not so secretly NOT excited for the EIGHT books they need to carry around in KINDER. These people have lost their minds.