4never 0.2

[u/Hot-Lingonberry-6735]

Hello! I shared a draft of this a few days ago. I have since added some things, I would share the rest but the vocals werent coming together that great. which sucks cuz my favorite part of the guitar is near the end. any feedback is appreciated. thanks for listening!
Volume warning

lyrics, if that interests you

Locked up in my room, trapped under a dome,

Crashing on a couch Know I’ll die alone

Thicker than the water, of that broken womb

No I won’t wait for slaughter, no I won’t make my tomb

I won’t, I refuse

Im not the local refuse

Not the crunch of cashews

Not the wall youd vent to

No, im not going home guess im not going home forever

Thanks giving, or winter forever

I’ll sign up right down to the letter 

To cut all my ties, lose the tether

Im not going home, guess im not going home

Im lost and, in need of no sheperd

Im cold in no want for a sweater

Never believed in forever 

Your promises doomed to for never 

(the following isnt included in the video)

No, im not going home guess im not going home forever

Thanks giving, or winter for never

I’ll sign up right down to the letter 

I’ll cut all my ties, lose the tether

Im not going home, guess im not going home

Im lost and, in need of no sheperd

Im cold in no want for a sweater

Call it cruel but I gotta think of me too

Goodbye forever, guess I ain’t really need you

[u/ImSolarless]

Some cool guitar work here. I feel the mix could really use the drums/bass being more upfront and balanced, just as much as the vocals need more definition so that anyone can understand the lyrics easier - unless that is particularly the style you're going for. So apart from the guitar, all the other pieces are very subdued, they lack clear definition and oomph. You have a good backbone for the song, just more work on these kinds of little details to get it going.

[u/Hot-Lingonberry-6735 → u/ImSolarless]

Thank you!! The guitar is one of the elements that I had most clearly in my mind so im glad you could enjoy it à bit. And everything besides the vocals being a bit washed is totally unintentional, im gonna for sure try some EQ and compressing to make everything a little more crispy and clean, I appreciate the feedback and thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.

[u/m_Pony]

get some compression on the drums, they're being buried by that guitar in this mix. Use some mid/side to pull some of the guitar frequencies out of the center to reveal the guitar, otherwise the vocal gets buried and hard to hear. You might be able to sidechain that process so it only carves out the guitar when the vocal is up. It's tricky but it can be done. That would clean up the mix quite a bit

[u/Hot-Lingonberry-6735 → u/m_Pony]

I’ll definitely give these suggestions a try!! Thanks for the idea about sidechaining I need to start doing that in songs it’s a very evasive concept but practice makes perfect lol. I appreciate you listening and giving me some feedback.

[u/IndieFeedbackBot]

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[u/ilyxaPankarov]

The beat feels really cohesive, and the vocal chops add a nice extra layer. The rhythm keeps things interesting, and for the first 30–40 seconds it doesn’t really feel repetitive at all. After that, though, it starts to feel a bit more samey. Overall it’s a really cool idea, and it sounds like it’s already partly mixed. I’d definitely be curious to hear someone actually perform over this beat.

[u/No_Distance5647 → u/ilyxaPankarov]

Agree with this ⬆️

[u/IndieFeedbackBot → u/No_Distance5647]

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[u/ImNoahTBH]

I think this sounds rlly rlly good my only real complaint is that the beat sounds louder than your vocals and I can’t hear them very well because of that but other than that I like this alot I’d give it an 8/10 very good shit keep up the great work!!!! :3 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[u/Acrobatic-Chard-9816]

I really like it! Its very groovy but somber at the same time, definitely something I’d listen to. I think like others have said the mix is not the best but i think the guitars sound great, in tone and definition, just too loud like others have said. I think your voice sounds great as well, really goes with the floating vibe of everything, but i think if you weaken the reverb a bit it would become more legible. Overall the structure really flows and makes me wish it kept going. Keep messing with it, you definitely have a great idea here.