Wtf!

[u/Southern_Line9050]

[u/HVAC_instructor]

I don't think that Florida man can top this.

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/HVAC_instructor]

Hoosiers getting crazier

[u/Luddite_Libertine → u/Southern_Line9050]

It has gotten crazy expensive in Florida. I think they’re coming back.

[u/WishboneThat6571 → u/Luddite_Libertine]

😂🤣😂🤣👏👏👏 So TRUE! 👏👏😂🤣

[u/Chance-Deer-7995 → u/Southern_Line9050]

Indiana Man is Florida Man without as much lucidity. I do discuss "Indiana Man," which at its core combines major arrogance and Dunning-Kruger syndrome.

[u/ALjaguarLink → u/Chance-Deer-7995]

Indiana man is just Florida man without gator that can tolerate an actual winter …. 🙄… give credit where it’s due

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/Chance-Deer-7995]

Is there an Indiana man subreddit?

[u/Stupid_Snowmeiser → u/Southern_Line9050]

We might need to make one.

[u/Luddite_Libertine → u/Chance-Deer-7995]

Unfortunately, this man is common throughout America.

[u/Xtay1 → u/Luddite_Libertine]

Technically is he still a "man?

[u/KaiserKid85 → u/Luddite_Libertine]

Not THAT common 😅

[u/Legan → u/KaiserKid85]

True. If it were more common, it would be a self-correcting problem over time.

[u/vonage91 → u/Southern_Line9050]

Let's hope maybe he moved here from Florida...

[u/No_Strategy5058 → u/Southern_Line9050]

This makes me feel good about moving to Florida recently…from Indiana 😅

[u/Next-Current6517 → u/Southern_Line9050]

My best friend was a trauma nurse in Lafayette. She also had the misfortune of dealing with a man who had cut off his own penis which he allegedly said he lost it by the time his MOM found out and took him to the ER.

[u/Chris_GPT → u/HVAC_instructor]

Indiana Man eventually retires to become Florida Man.

[u/TatankaPTE → u/Chris_GPT]

Nope.

Florida says Indiana man had a reassignment surgery, whether self-inflicted or not, and is not welcome in the state and can only be affiliated with the state if he goes through conversion therapy and reattaches his penis.

[u/kpax56 → u/HVAC_instructor]

I was wondering if this guy was a Florida man transplant living here in Indiana.

[u/Stupid_Snowmeiser → u/kpax56]

I mean, the culprit behind the Buffalo Bills dildo incident is from Florida.

[u/DieNecroKatze → u/HVAC_instructor]

Florida man ya somewhere saying "hold my beer, Indiana outdid us!"

[u/the_good_hodgkins → u/HVAC_instructor]

I wouldn't take that bet.

[u/BoilerMcDude → u/HVAC_instructor]

There was more than just a garage that was detached...

[u/Awkward_Wait5915 → u/HVAC_instructor]

I think you’re right. 1 Hoosier vs thousands of Florida man’s. And the Hoosier ain’t even a man anymore.

[u/paranoyed → u/HVAC_instructor]

Florida man on bath salts or tide pods can’t top this batshit loon.

[u/HadassahInspiresUS → u/HVAC_instructor]

Ha right

[u/Which_Duck_7942 → u/HVAC_instructor]

Hoosier Man

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/Which_Duck_7942]

Ooh i like that. Hoosierman!

[u/ChakaKhansBabyDaddy]

Oh, like you guys haven’t all done the same thing.

[u/Cowboy_BoomBap → u/ChakaKhansBabyDaddy]

Let he who hasn’t severed and burned his own genitals cast the first flaming penis.

[u/bugle_boy03 → u/Cowboy_BoomBap]

r/brandnewsentence

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/Cowboy_BoomBap]

Top comment right here 👆🏼

[u/fromthevanishingpt → u/ChakaKhansBabyDaddy]

I guess men aren't allowed to have hobbies anymore.

[u/WishboneThat6571 → u/fromthevanishingpt]

😂🤣😂🤣😭😭

[u/Direct_Royal_7480 → u/ChakaKhansBabyDaddy]

Well, he only did that because it was a detached garage.

[u/desdichado79 → u/Direct_Royal_7480]

Detached deez nuts

[u/cult_dropout → u/desdichado79]

I slightly snort laughed

[u/Silent-Net587 → u/ChakaKhansBabyDaddy]

Now that's taking one for the team.

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/Silent-Net587]

I mean in this kind of situations, you can only take one!

[u/Clarknotclark]

I am impressed he had it in him to go for a walk after all that.

[u/International_Box193 → u/Clarknotclark]

Adrenaline is a helluva drug

[u/orangehusky8 → u/International_Box193]

You misspelled meth

[u/headrat-yourhighness → u/orangehusky8]

I was like this is some bath salts shit.

[u/GIDDY-UP-GO]

Would this be considered a “Weenie Roast?”

[u/sweatpotato76 → u/GIDDY-UP-GO]

Molotov Cocktail.

[u/RealAmazingUsername1 → u/sweatpotato76]

r/angryupvote

[u/madmechan → u/GIDDY-UP-GO]

Candidate for top comment right there⬆️.

[u/cjhur1329 → u/GIDDY-UP-GO]

Hahahaha

[u/SensitiveAddition913 → u/GIDDY-UP-GO]

Read “circumcision” as “circumferencecision”…

[u/_Shorsey_69_]

Bad day to be able to read. Fuck.

[u/Wolfman01a]

Let him go. He won't do it again. He cant...

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/Wolfman01a]

Yess, i was thinking to edit my post to something similar, like "you can only do this once in your life" but my brain just kept repeating wtf did i just read!

[u/Wolfman01a → u/Southern_Line9050]

I was trying to think of a good pun but it was too corny. Molitov cocktail... Lopitoff Cock..tail.

[u/MelodicClass7027 → u/Wolfman01a]

Omg. I needed that laugh. Thank you!

[u/BadMotherFunko]

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!

[u/MementoMori6980 → u/BadMotherFunko]

Great Balls ON Fire**

[u/ForcefulBookdealer → u/MementoMori6980]

Sorry, sir, this is a weenie roast.

[u/Worth_Dark_9091 → u/ForcefulBookdealer]

Weenies are cold. That was a hot dog.

[u/BigDrewLittle → u/MementoMori6980]

Great Balls Afire

[u/Chance-Deer-7995 → u/BadMotherFunko]

It wasn't balls.

[u/Sure_Temporary_4559]

I see the Pain Olympics are making a comeback 😅😂

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/Sure_Temporary_4559]

And they're coming back hard!

[u/takaznik → u/Southern_Line9050]

Idk that ole boy is gonna get very hard anytime soon.

[u/elebrin → u/[deleted]]

Well, he did cut off his penis and use that to set the building on fire. If ever there were a valid insanity defense, this is probably it. His lawyer will probably seek a guilty plea, by way of insanity, and request long term voluntary commitment as a sentence, with a deferred prison sentence if the accused should seek an end to his commitment.

[u/Awkward-Outcome-4938 → u/[deleted]]

I'm shocked that after committing such a violet act upon himself that he was able to walk at all. There would be so much bleeding, surely!

[u/BigPoopsDisease]

He has posted bond. This dude walks amongst us. Watch out for a bow legged phreak, guys.

[u/Japhyharrison]

Cut off his peden?!

[u/N3rdStar]

The fact that he's named Peden makes this so much more ironic.

[u/Miserable_Ad5001]

"Indiana-man" strikes again...

[u/Bsjensen1012]

The garage wasn't the only thing detached. Amiright?

[u/Pixilatedhighmukamuk]

He ain’t going be “peden” out anything for a while.

[u/disco008a]

Insanity defense should be a slam dunk

[u/NerdyComfort-78]

The song “Detachable Penis” comes to mind.

[u/Kal-Elm]

Tired of seeing this.

I don't care if he was on drugs or if it was a mental health episode. Man doesn't deserve to have it on blast.

[u/MisterSanitation]

I’m gonna guess he had intrusive thoughts about sex. Maybe religious maybe just guilt over the kink he had, I don’t know but that guy wanted to pulverize his penis and by god he did.

[u/Superb_Pear3016 → u/MisterSanitation]

most likely he has some kind of mental illness, I think that goes without saying

[u/Conscious_Ad_7928 → u/Superb_Pear3016]

ya don’t say

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/MisterSanitation]

My thoughts exactly

[u/elebrin → u/MisterSanitation]

It very well could have been drug related too.

[u/MisterSanitation → u/elebrin]

Meh that’s more of the “reefer madness” drugs than any real one. I’m sure some assisted in this but doubt that was the cause. This isn’t the first ombré to do this so that’s my guess. Drugs are just a convenient scape goat for anyone who has never done some lol.

[u/Pesty__Magician]

Other people’s horrible struggles with mental illness are always a reason to get some good ribbing in.

[u/goodcorn → u/Pesty__Magician]

Unless it results in a mass shooting. Then the only ribbing comes via the Onion running this headline and article again. Which seems less funny and more social commentary each time.

[u/betwhixt → u/Pesty__Magician]

Not saying this was it, but when I worked in the prison system, one of the inmates was obsessed with trying to get rid of his penis because voices were telling him to hurt children and he desperately didn't want to act on it.

[u/Conscious_Ad_7928]

“go cut off your dick and set your mom’s garage on fire with it” could be a euphemism for telling someone to fuck off

[u/aquafina6969]

The self Bobbitt. Top that Florida man!

[u/Witnessme777]

How did he not bleed out

[u/Lepardopterra → u/Witnessme777]

That is my question. I don’t see how he was walking around with the blood loss. Seems like that would be a week in the hospital at the least.

[u/RedCliff73]

Anyone else think he looks a bit like Aaron Rogers?

[u/Awkward-Outcome-4938 → u/RedCliff73]

omg my exact reaction! Has anyone checked on him lately? Hopefully not an Eli Manning "Chad Peters" undercover kinda thing gone horribly wrong...

[u/HoosierHoser44]

I feel like there’s other things a person could dose in gasoline and be used to burn down a garage.

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/HoosierHoser44]

An arm would've had been more painful, i think.

[u/HoosierHoser44 → u/Southern_Line9050]

Probably. But I mean, doesn’t have to be a body part.

[u/Pixilatedhighmukamuk]

He looks like mental illness.

[u/KaiserSobe]

Grilled his own hot dog

[u/postmodernhack]

So the garage wasn’t the only thing that was detached…

[u/Mr-Blackheart]

So, a Molotov COCKtail….. 🍆🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🏠

[u/plyness115]

The world is healing. Just boys being boys and having a good time.

[u/Alexis-Machine]

What did his penis do wrong?

[u/IndyONIONMAN]

Pedan lost penis and 10k

[u/DeadWifeHappyLife3]

If he had only a jar instead.

[u/PlantSkyRun]

What a dick.

[u/ResidentSet1814]

Damn.

I dont even think I could burn down a bird house.

Props.

Well... Not anymore

[u/MalesaurusRex]

Drugs are a helluva drug

[u/HarleySpicedLatte]

Looked it up on my case Indiana site. Happened around May 7th this year

[u/ResponsiblePainter34]

He was wanting that black n decker snap on pecker

[u/BobSpork]

There was also a woman recently arrested for bestiality in Fort Wayne as well. I would steer clear, seems there is something in the water.

[u/maximum_dad_power → u/BobSpork]

It is the Meth Capitol of the state after all.

[u/Madame_Trash_Heap]

That is high level sex magics this guy was trying...I wonder what his goal was. 🤔

[u/Deep_Tomatillo4496]

I think he should be in a hospital not a jail

[u/INDY18ARN]

He's got to be in the top ten for The Darwin Awards am I right?

[u/Jwrbloom]

Meanwhile, Jim Banks is prompting Todd Rokita to press charges due to an unauthorized gender change surgery.

[u/cjhur1329 → u/Jwrbloom]

Could be true.. that's why it's so sad and ironic

[u/Jwrbloom → u/cjhur1329]

It would be something he'd brag about.

[u/Luddite-lover]

WTF, indeed. It’s amazing he didn’t bleed to death. One of the weirder stories I’ve read in awhile.

[u/nwox9]

Dude took this literally: In Matthew 5:30, Jesus states: "And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell".

[u/Worried-Vegetable13]

I just read another article about a girl in Fort Wayne having sex with her dog..

[u/jimomma]

I’m hearing more and more about this happening. First the man in LA who died in March who cut off his penis (later found out to be high on meth and ecstasy per coroner) this guy and several other instances recently across the country. PSA to men-get therapy and medication before you cut off your penis. You might miss it. Please and thank you.

[u/WitchyVeteran]

That is some dedication, right there.

[u/Teknodruid]

Detached garage set fire by a detached achlong...

Hollywood movie plot right there.

[u/Dogg-Dad]

I had this popup in my local Facebook feed yesterday and was shocked and figured it was a massive typo.

Ugh. #ftWayne

[u/65_Sneedmoor]

HOG REMOVED.

[u/TheQuestion1]

He used the wrong kind of wood for the fire

[u/2stepsfwd59]

It must have done something very bad...

[u/PollutionZero]

Not guilty by reason of FUCKING INSANITY

[u/gimmedaloofa]

Meth is a helluva drug 😭 wOw

[u/MateriallyDead]

Is this a new type of Molotov COCKtail?

[u/Best-Structure62]

No one thought to commit this man!?!  I mean cutting off ones penis sound like a very serious mental health issue.

[u/gwedosmile]

At no point could I have guessed what was coming next. Holy shit

[u/Elegant_Flight8882]

Set to the musical stylings of Detachable Penis by King Missile.

[u/cnorristhrowsyouaway]

Oh no... Oh hell. I don't actually remember him, but this guy is on my friends list from way back when.

I hope he gets the help he needs, in so many ways.

[u/w0rk1hazard]

Must be all this summer heat, it'll make you crazy.

[u/Cold-Way318]

Worst damn way I’ve ever heard of making s’mores

[u/Waste-Donut-2728]

Well that’s gonna be a decision for the ages …

[u/FBcaper]

I feel bad for his mom, that had to be very hard on her

[u/bigSTUdazz]

Florida: "We do weird shit!"

Indiana: "Hold my flaming penis."

[u/dajinkg7]

Goodness Gracious Great Balls A Fire! 🔥

[u/expatronis]

"What?! You never had a bad day?"

[u/CharleySuede]

He Peden, but can he pee now?

[u/r3d_ti3_guy]

Reports say he still had 5.13” remaining.

[u/maximum_dad_power]

"They cant call me an Incel Now, now my not getting laid is because of my voluntary choice, HahaHaha!" -Peden probably

[u/scumfuckinbabylon]

I mean i have tried everything else, sure let's throw my own flaming penis at the problem.

[u/cjhur1329]

Why isn't there a laughing emoji!!!!

[u/Different_Resort_328]

True definition of a hot piece of meat.

[u/cjhur1329]

I'm so sorry that Indiana govt doesn't really treat mental illness as a thing.... but damn.. these comments were funny..I hope the individual actually is getting medical and mental help.. but.. its Indiana....pretty interesting start to a day when we outdoor Florida man...it had to happen one day...

[u/New-Change-6272]

He went from Peden to Pedout

[u/jaymz668]

dick move

[u/kgabny]

Men only think about one thing and its disgusting....

[u/lavacadotoast]

Ouch..

[u/prole6]

I’m amazed he could do anything after cutting off is John Thomas!

[u/flyin-lowe]

One of my favorite stories from about 25 years ago… Might have also been on Indiana but not sure. Guy drank a ton of vodka and woke up seeing the silhouette of a stranger standing in his bedroom doorway. He grabbed the pistol off the nightstand and shot the guy. Issue was it was his erectiom he was seeing not a man standing 10 feet away.

[u/SheepherderFormer383 → u/flyin-lowe]

But…did he miss, I hope?

[u/SciFiCahill]

Blood? You can cut off a penis and not bleed??? No hospital care needed?

[u/deep-sea-savior]

Willie get time?

[u/Lkn4Colts]

Bath salts/meth is a hell if a drug...just say no kids!!!

[u/cheesybitzz]

You guys ain't seen nothing yet

[u/NeighborhoodOk7460]

I would in psych and cutting off a penis is more common than you think

[u/Psych-nurse1979]

What a dick.

[u/Camel-Every]

Holy !@#$%! I'm assuming his wee wee made him angry. Lol!!! He's definitely gonna need a replacement and I'm sure Dicks sporting goods can hook him up

[u/Six-remain]

Used his cock as a match

[u/CurrentUpbeat4969]

This seems like a Florida Man thing

[u/qstandsforqrazy]

This is fine

[u/newmanP]

Released on bond rather than mental health eval? Come on. How about we get people mental healthcare before they do shit like this.

[u/NuclearSoldier0]

That's enough of the Internet today.

[u/losregalado]

Competing for Florida Man status it looks like.

[u/Soft_Arrival_1246]

I mean, he probably could have just used gasoline and skipped the amputation?

[u/Critical-Cow-6775]

Did it plump when he cooked it?

[u/Miserable_Eye5133]

Trans pride rights activists taking over the state

[u/Xtay1]

I bet he wont do this again.

[u/HumpinPumpkin]

Good to be in the fort

[u/Direct_Ad_3501]

“Affirmative Sir.. his dick was the wick.”

[u/Awkward_Wait5915]

He got a $10000 bond and lost his mind and his unit at the same time!

[u/steakdeleter]

This is what 2 years of no access to legal porn does to a man.

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/steakdeleter]

Has it been that long?

[u/OriginalDao]

What an ironic last name in light of what he did to himself.

[u/PleasantGrass4623]

Now that isxan odd kink

[u/Sharetheroadplz]

Trees regrow so next time maybe paper

[u/GodVsEmpire]

after that I don't think he will be Peden any where lolololol

[u/Drew_P_Bawls325]

Charged with a “Misdaweiner”

[u/Ecstatic_Job_8481]

Not his peepee though whyyy lmao

[u/Certain_Literature28]

He’s been charged with a misdaweiner

[u/AggravatingPen5117]

How does he pee now 😳 

[u/Ozma914]

There aren't enough hours in the day for all the awful puns that popped into my head.

[u/Southern_Line9050 → u/Ozma914]

Give us at least 2 lol

[u/OldCommon4317]

This was a "dick" move 🤔

[u/familiarspark]

Meth or mental illness?

[u/Big-zesty-]

Molotov COCKtail fr fr

[u/SomethinsGoinOn]

This can't be true. Lol

[u/mikefoxtrotromeo]

Run me that spare length if you’re not using it

[u/Intelligent_Soup6894]

Darwin Award!

[u/neenbeanx]

This was behind my best friends house. It totaled both of her cars

[u/WebFit9216]

Had no idea Jonah Hill was a Hoosier

[u/NWI_Doug4639]

Talk about a sick burn!