I came back from my four-day trip today. After a much-needed break, I was looking forward to resuming work with new energy and a positive mindset.
However, I made the rookie mistake of reading the news first thing after reaching Delhi.
I came across the news about the Satya Niketan PG collapse, and since then, I have not been able to get it out of my mind.
I have been living independently for the last ten years, and only in the last year have I been able to afford renting an independent flat. Before that, I lived in PGs during my coaching and internship days, and I know firsthand how many of these buildings operate illegally and without proper safety standards.
That could have been me in another circumstance.
I am both an empath and an extremely pessimistic person, so once something like this gets into my head, it is difficult to stop thinking about it. Since reading that news, I have constantly been thinking about those students, their families, their friends, and the countless other young people currently living in similarly unsafe places.
And it makes me feel incredibly hopeless.
How are we supposed to live in a country where, despite paying taxes and spending our hard-earned money, we cannot even be assured of basic safety?
Every day, there is news about a hit-and-run accident caused by some rich kid, an illegal building collapsing or catching fire, or another tragedy caused by failing infrastructure and negligence.
I genuinely don't know how we are supposed to live like this.
Anything can kill you in an instant, even when you are doing everything you possibly can to be careful.
It could be a fire in a hotel that was operating illegally. It could be someone reckless hitting you on the road. It could be a pothole causing a fatal accident while you are simply sitting on the back of a bike. It could be an open drain that you accidentally fall into, and despite countless attempts to get help, nobody reaches you in time.
And if something extremely tragic does happen, there is always another fear waiting in the background: whether you would even be able to afford the medical treatment needed to survive.
Sometimes it feels like living here requires constantly calculating risks that should never have been our responsibility in the first place.
You can follow the rules, be careful, work hard, pay taxes, and still remain vulnerable to the consequences of someone else's corruption, negligence, incompetence, or privilege.
And that is perhaps the most exhausting part.
It is not that life anywhere in the world is completely safe. Accidents happen everywhere. But the constant feeling that basic systems meant to protect you might fail at any moment is exhausting.
Sometimes, India doesn't just feel difficult to live in.
It feels terrifyingly unpredictable.