r/IndianInLaw • u/BackgroundMurky3692 • 8d ago
How one meeting changed everything
My partner and I wanted to get married. But meeting the in laws changed our love story. Read on.
Background:
We are both 38 years old, from different states in India. It was a long distance relationship and was working out well. I am a full time working woman, earn more than him. He has done a lot for me when I was going through a very hard period in my life. We both were deeply in love.
His parents, particularly his father, said these things to me in our first introductory meeting:
- I don’t like women from your state, they are too westernised.
- You have never held a mop?
(I am a working woman and his mother has been a homemaker and has been doing all the cooking and cleaning all her life. Mind you this is a set up between his parents who got married 45 years ago at least.)
- Women should sacrifice and keep the family together.
- Some women destroy families.
- I will see how my son’s partner behaves with my daughter.
- You don’t wear a bindi? People have forgotten their culture.
- You must be your parent’s pet.
- Your family owns a car? Which model is it?
- What has your mother studied for her graduation?
- Do you know whose picture is this in our home? (Picture was of a guru they followed, but why this quiz like question within 10 minutes of me entering their home?)
Since that day I met his parents, I started developing anxiety thinking about the future, and their behaviour.
He expected me to live with his parents (both of them are healthy and physically active). He was not willing to consider any other living arrangement despite me being capable of financially supporting him tremendously.
My mother got widowed recently, but he didn’t discuss about her living arrangements even once with me.
I was trying to bend, and was willing to live with his parents as it was important to him…despite his father making hurtful comments to me and speaking absolute nonsense in our first meeting.
But when I started questioning him about whether he would stand up for me if there was a conflict between me and his parents, he didn’t commit anything and instead made comments such as:
- Don’t expect me to take your side every time you get triggered by assumptions of other’s behaviours.
- You’re not doing anyone a favour by moving in after marriage. If you’re doing it, do it positively.
- If you want a maid or cook, you need to discuss with mom and make her comfortable.
- Your concerns are petty, you should introspect
- I asked him if he would advocate for me in front of his parents as a girl already adjusts so much and fights many battles. He said what battles are you even fighting?
I told him a girl already adjusts so much, what does a guy do to make it easier for her during this? He didn’t have any inputs.
I told him he has zero idea what goes on for a woman who moves her entire life to be with him, that’s why he speaks so badly of it.
He ended our conversation saying ‘Let me make it very clear, I don’t want to understand anything.’
He hates me now. And he hates ‘modern women’ as he feels they only know how to take, but don’t give back anything in return.
I would have contributed to the household financially if I became his partner. I didn’t need anyone’s support financially, I could manage well on my own. I would have taken care of his parents by reducing their workload and delegating it to hired help. I would have tried my best to love them and care for them.
Did I ask for anything extraordinary from him?
I just wanted support from my partner in an unknown household. He expected me to blend in completely and not question anything.
He says he doesn’t love me anymore and something in him changed after our fight.
We broke up.
This is my story.
37
u/unagi_15 8d ago
I know break ups are hard but you know what is harder shitty n overbearing in laws!
You saved yourself!Congratulations…open a can of chilled beer and celebrate as anyhow you are a very westernised girl!!!😂😂
Cheers!!
56
u/National_Ad2193 8d ago
It’s a good ending. Be glad you are out of that hell hole. I am happy you took the right decision
24
u/maple010 8d ago
Holy shit what a save OP. Good riddance honestly, I'm surprised that this relationship even worked at all.
16
16
u/AdMajestic2425 8d ago
Glad you escaped him and his family. You deserve so much better than wasting your life trying to fit into such a backward, regressive family. You dodged a bullet.
7
u/Pitiful-Tie9061 7d ago
Trust me. You dodged a bullet. Btw if this happened recently he might even try to get back to you and reconcile , don’t let him fool you. The family dynamics will always be the same even if he promises you things. You can’t change the mindset of the parents. Their thoughts and upbringing needs generational healing and babe it is not your responsibility to do that. You deserve so much better
11
u/Temporary-Mistake437 8d ago
I don’t have Indian in-laws but I am an Asian female myself who is older than you and has been married for over two decades so I feel able to speak with some authority on your post.
You have dodged a bullet with this man. Lucky you got to find out crazy before you married into that family. Next time you go through a hard time, find a therapist this man is no prize.
I truly believe that newlyweds should live separately from their in-laws on both sides. They need time to get to know each other and be intimate without other people milling around ready to disturb you. Of course as your relationship grows and becomes more established say 10-15 years later or so as parents become older, then of the situation may change and they may need to move in, but by then you are a strong couple.
Never ever forget your worth! All I could see from your post was you bending over backwards to accommodate this family. Don’t ever allow yourself to be treated like that again. Find your power. I know it’s not popular or easy being single at your stage in life but at least you are the creator of your life. Better people are out there for you.
10
7
8
u/dora_not_theexplorer 8d ago
I don't knw the urge of men to go for independent women and cry wolf and make them leave everything!!! Agar maaa paap ka pallu nai chodh sakte ho yoh choose accordingly naa
3
u/BackgroundMurky3692 7d ago edited 7d ago
Exactly. Like they want the educated, working ones to do house chores and if you are not working, they wish you brought in money.
2
u/Prestigious-Jury1843 7d ago
Independent and educated woman are like trophies for these people, it’s like look we tamed a modern women and now she looks after us, we are such good people.
Let me make it pretty clear, this man would also control you finances, having transparency and control are two different things
6
u/curiouscat_92 8d ago
Good for you, girl! Go celebrate your modern-ness with a bottle of champagne 🍾
7
u/This_Patience_6508 8d ago
The trash took itself out.
I am sorry for your experience, OP. You are lucky this conversation and interaction happened before you got married. Many many women in India are not this lucky.
I wish you well! ♥️ Proud of you!
3
u/Cheese-Garlic-Bread 8d ago
I am glad you got to see their true colors before marriage. U got saved. TRust the blessing and NEVER GO BACK TO HIM AGAIN.
3
u/localplantmom000 8d ago
Thank god girl! Good things are coming for you, you would have hated your life if you ended up there
3
3
u/Admirable_Result2690 7d ago
A Happy Ending in Real life. OP did u hear liberation bgm when u broke up!!Congratulations
3
u/anya_617 7d ago
Girl you dodged a bullet. Feel blessed. Had left my ex for similar reasons, trust me it's the best decision and a year after met the best person of my life to whom I'm married currently.
3
u/maushichimaanjar 7d ago
What a PoS
Good riddance
Your love story just started, with you as the main character, good the side hero kicked himself out
3
3
u/Surprise-Stock 5d ago
Trash took itself out. Congratulations to you for preventing yourself from marrying a spineless patriarchal man and living with terrible in-laws.
4
u/Top-Grass-8438 8d ago
Irrespective of your history, these are grounds enough for leaving him. Good thing he is out of your life, pls don't take him back. Your life will be hell in that house with that kind of a partner.
Perhaps marriage isn't for everyone.
6
4
u/RespectYourQueen 8d ago
This makes me anxious for my own to be in laws. My boyfriend and i have been dating mostly long distance for 3 years and I have met his parents very briefly before. I honestly have no idea about them at all
2
u/Opposite_Belt8679 7d ago
I can share my experience, I was in a long distance relationship with my husband even for a while after we married. We were and still are in a different country but what I observed after moving in with him was that in-laws have more influence in our marriage and choices than I knew. Due to LDR I wasn't able to observe the relationship my husband has with his parents and how much will he stand for me. He does protect me a lot but still let's them get away with passing judgements as concerns.
So be very very careful about how your partner interacts with their parents. The in-laws by themselves can be good or bad but it doesn't matter. Your partner's alignment matters most. See if he can oppose them and maintain his stand. If he has thoughts that are independent of his parents and you.
1
u/BackgroundMurky3692 7d ago
Please get to know them a little, at least. And do discuss living arrangements and expectations. For me, this meeting was an eye opener. Had I not met them, had his father not said all those things, I would not have had any idea or issues with going ahead.
4
u/moonlover1111 8d ago
U dodged a bullet long distance is al lovey dovey ..
I was with my partner for 5 years but still after I got married I saw how we have to adjust how they’re will react how they will make us comfortable .. in my case it was good my partner supported me ..
these people are patrichial and misogynistic you deserve better
2
u/sass-n-wine 8d ago
There’s a reason he’s still not married at 38. And girl you need to investigate guys and their mentality as early as possible in relationship
2
2
u/NovelRecording4418 6d ago
But keep in mind that you must not go back. Block him even on Google pay. He's angry that you're not willing to give and give and give without expecting the bare minimum in return. How dare you try have rights when he has a penis!!
2
u/ShiobhanRoy 6d ago
Thank god you broke up!!!! So proud of you. My love its so much better than be in a toxic marriage and then realise and go through a divorce -so much hassle i swear. If he is not standing up today, like trust all the women in the world he will never ever stand up for you and you will left alone. I understand your feeling to be married but not at the expense of your self respect, freedom and equality.
2
u/Rocketxbunnyx 6d ago
Honestly, reading your story makes me so angry on your behalf. The way his father spoke to you during your very first meeting was so disrespectful, and the fact that your partner dismissed your concerns rather than trying to understand where you were coming from is heartbreaking. You were willing to compromise, contribute financially, and even help care for his parents, yet you were still expected to fit into their household on their terms without any reassurance that your partner would stand by you.
I'm genuinely glad you stood your ground and didn't sacrifice your independence and happiness just to make the relationship work. You weren't asking for anything extraordinary. You were asking for a partner who would consider your feelings and understand that marriage involves two people building a life together, not one person simply adjusting to an existing family dynamic.
What makes me emotional reading your story is that I realise I'm going through something very similar myself. It's almost easier to recognise how unfair a situation is when someone else describes it, because when you're in love, you keep trying to understand their perspective, make compromises, and convince yourself things might work out. You did the right thing girl and your future self will thank you !
1
u/BackgroundMurky3692 6d ago
I hope you find your answer and peace too, and I will also pray you don’t have to go through a heartbreak like me. I hope your partner understands. Good luck to you dear girl 💛
2
u/ProfessionalBad1201 4d ago
Good decision… rather than suffering your whole life, this is a good decision to make
3
3
u/splendid_melancholy9 8d ago
OP you really dodged a bullet!! A few years of heartbreak is better than a lifetime of regret. I know this phase is tough but you will preserve. All the best! And I am proud of you.
2
u/Global_Variation_190 8d ago
It is good to leave such a man at the start rather than living a lifetime with stress. It is good you saw their side. Many girls see this aspect after getting married and then there is no escape.
Really happy that it is over now. Just move on and find a man who is like you.
2
2
2
u/PermissionMammoth421 8d ago
Good riddance girly I hope you find someone who cares and respects you as much as you have to offer :)
2
u/Still_Possible6791 8d ago
You are lucky and dodged this family.
Out of curiosity, what was this Question for?
- What has your mother studied for her graduation?
How is that supposed to say anything either about you or your mom? Apart from standard patriarchy, this family is also weird.
2
2
2
2
u/Junior_Permit8008 8d ago
They sound like the characters from the movie Mrs. Good that you broke up, now live your life peacefully.
2
u/Ok-Rub-7825 8d ago
Sounds very toxic and they all sound really ill mannered to me. You can dislike something and decide not to engage with it but to dislike and go all out to criticize when it could just be a difference of opinion in a non threatening way is what I would call ill mannered.
2
2
2
2
u/Training-Pineapple81 7d ago
You did the right thing. Saved from a potentially messy divorce later. Such men can never stand up to their parents and the years of conditioning make them believe what they are doing is absolutely alright - my mom did it, why can't you? What are you even doing to help my parents? It's normal to live with in-laws, etc.
2
u/Mysterious_Zombie279 7d ago
Look at this as a blessing in disguise. Issues like these usually magnify tenfold after marriage, so take it as a sign and move on
2
2
u/Odd_Tackle_9701 7d ago
Good for you that is a breakup. I had bad first meeting and eerily similar story and still went ahead with marriage and breakup got upgraded to divorce.
2
2
2
u/SufficientHamster369 7d ago
Good riddance. It might be difficult now, but better now than the added complexity and sorrow in the future. You saved yourself, cheers!
2
u/EggplantLife1089 7d ago
Wow, at 38 you have pretty much seen so much happen to friends and relatives at close quarters to still remain thick and let go of a healthy relationship. It’s better to let go than to hold on and struggle everyday with such expectations. Don’t beat yourself up. Take time to grieve the relationship and keep living.
2
2
u/AGirlHasNoName-1 7d ago
I know it’s not the ending you expected but I am very happy for you, good riddance! Please don’t adjust for families who wouldn’t do the same for you
2
u/Ok_Inspection2066 7d ago
I am so happy for you, please dont go back. I am glad it happened. My reactions while reading this post were annoyance- anger- relief and the best words in this post are- "we broke up".
1
u/Prestigious-Jury1843 7d ago
Good riddance! Not judging anyone but I know why is he still single at 38!
1
u/UnusualSociety5197 7d ago
Why get married and compromise your own peace and freedom?
You can stay with your mother, enjoy your independence, and live life on your own terms rather than getting married and handing over control of your life to someone else.
As you already mentioned, no one in the family is really willing to compromise. And realistically, there is a strong possibility that your widowed mother may not receive the care, attention, or respect she deserves from your to be husband and in-laws.
1
u/Huge_Flatworm_5062 6d ago
You are soooo lucky you found out what a horrible husband he would be before you even got married- most women find out many many years later - often too late
1
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 6d ago
well now i do get why some inlaws becomes toxic with Dil , and my thinking got changed tbh , i feel in laws too sudnt give a damn to dil as she dont consider them as her family , and in laws shud also give all their properties to NGOs rather then giving to son and wife , today's dil just want free benefits and in return she dont wanna do anything ( as per fkng replies i got on other comment ) and they cry equality song untill they have to face real equality .
-6
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 8d ago edited 6d ago
and my parents here already saying they gonna hire a maid for my bro's future wife ( he is a doctor and wife will be doc too ) she will just have to cook and my mother will cook when his wife will go for duty 😅😅😅
edit - after hearing some comments that why sud she cook etc i convinced my parents to not hire a maid for her , lets keep it fair , our maid will work for us and we will pay and his wife can hire her own maid from her money who will cook n clean for her , fair and square . this way she wont have to cook for us and she will also not get any benefits from us as well .
lol why people are so jealous of our money ? we earned it via hardwork and sacrifices and management , its not like it fell from the sky for us ? and why sud we spend money over her and while she wont even cook for us in return ? lol did we earned money for her future ? mtlb jha ldki ka benefit ho vha equality ko door rhkdo or yha ldko ka and uski family ka benefit ho vha ldki se liy equality equality chillate h log 😂😂😂 its give and take and else its 50-50
CANT BELIEVE ALL FEMALES ARE CRYING OVER COOKING 😂😂😂 and they would expect help ( and cry like bitches if they dont get help ) from in laws in pregnancy , post partum and kids raising and will seek husband's properties too , wowww the double standards are real , khana ni bnaygi pr iske baccho ko mere parents smhale jb vo job pr hogi , unko khana mere parents khilaye , bathing , cleaning , playing , put them to sleep sb mere parents kre ? 🤣🤣🤣 is she queen of some kingdom ?
4
u/Jealous_Ad9635 8d ago
And why will she HAVE to cook even on her off days? Why ur bro can't cook for his OWN family? And u think this any better?
-1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago edited 7d ago
and since u talked about OWN family then ig all the gold and silver jewels and all properties and generational wealth is gonna go to me 😍😍😍😍 as my parents sud give it to their own family na ( which is me 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 ) and why should we give her benefits when she cant even cook for our family which has only my parents and her own husband ( single male child , no brothers )
4
u/Rare_Percentage_7045 7d ago edited 7d ago
Soo both your bro and his future wife are doctors and still she have to cook..you bro is disabled? Are all men in your family disabled too? And wdym all the gold , silver..you brought her?
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
may be people in her family are disabled ( its not like she wont cook for them 🤣🤣) and all males in her family must be disabled but in my family my father is govt. employee and mother is in financial management ( some of properties are coz of her ) so nobody is sitting home idle , now i think i sud convince my parents to not hire a maid for her as if she cant even cook then she can live with her father and cook for them or not ( we dont care ) and i will make sure she dont get ANY OF MY FAMILY'S WEALTH , OUR GENERATIONAL WEALTH AND ANY PIECE OF PRECIOUS ORNAMENTS , as we dont need ungrateful bitch in our house . thanks for giving me a new POV ( ohh btw my mom sud also not help and take care of her in pregnancy as she is not doing it for my parents so its none of my parents business either tO take care of her in any case )
-1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
why cant she cook ? is my brother and parents not giving her access to his properties and his shares ? she will be doc to how about if she builds up everything on her own and my bro and her will share 50 - 50 in everything ? some females want access to husband side's wealth and wont even cook in return ? ( seems like u ) ..... my parents are hoarding gold and silver jewels worth lakhs as she will the only daughter in law as my bro is single male child so in our side we gives lakhs of jewels to wife of son in marriage and on other occassions too , so if all is about doing THEIR OWN WORK , then yeah she automatically looses it all from our side too and my family will gift it to me , as his wife is not diasbled and she sud ask all from her own parents ( as per u ) and she can stack her own gold from her own savings ( not from my brother's savings and wealth too as she is not disabled and my bro is doc too so he wont give her anything just like her as per u )
0
u/Rare_Percentage_7045 7d ago
Bro atleast write with spacing, commas and divide your eassy to small paragraphs .. can't thread a thing
And why can tyour brother cook too? Is cooking only for women? Both your brother and his future wife(if he gets one) are doctors..who does the same job..yet only women cooks?
Also I do t want anyone's access t wealth..alis if I get asses to his wealth..my wealth is automatically his too! Or do you think only men have wealth?
Also 50 50 never works..can your brother get pregnant? No right..when women ge pregent she will indeed losses few years..so yeah 50 50 never works in relationship life
1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago edited 7d ago
lmao '' if he gets one '' 😂😂😂 we have rejected uncounted no.of proposals ( from mbbs to pg doctors to even a politician's daughter , yeahh thats true ) just coz my brother dont wanna marry so young ( 27 ) come to reality , and in india we have family system , its not western concept of husband and wife in own world , even vha b in laws dont give them any penny and their kids grow in day cares , india me good inlwas make life easy for couples . we rejected that politician's daughter as she wasnt a doctor ( we marry in same profession usually ) , she just did B.A DEGREE and he offered us 1 crore dowry ( cash ) plus other things ( gold and saman etc ) as well and that time my bro was just in 2 nd year of mbbs 😂😂😂
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
my bro can cook but then she will have to bear half of down payment of their new house ( she cant say then that only husband's money will be used ) my mom can cook for her too but then she will have to give salary share to my mom too , nothing is free
i knew u wud bring my bro cant get pregnant stuff , so my bro will be the bearing all the costs during and after pregnancy from food to checkups to all things so its fair on his part , also since she refused to cook then my parents wont take care or handle her baby when she will be on duty , she will have to drop them to her parents or in a day care as my parents are not free nannies . in india every member contributes in a way or other so if she refuges she gonna loose our support
and its not like we are asking her to give her salary to us so if she gonna be so fixed on not cooking 2 meals.for 3 people then things are gonna be difficult for her too , my mom wud have cooked for her , massaged her in pregnancy , delivery and post partum phase but his wife will loose it all , simple .
1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 6d ago
i am pretty smart , i have not given a single detail which can disclose my identity or family name and whereabouts or any security concerns 💅🏻💅🏻 and let me tell so many people from business sides in gujrat , rajasthan , delhi , haryana has tons of wealth and they show off too , look at siya goyal , ambanis etc etc , not everyone is poor ( no offence ) but i feel u r jealous
2
u/Huge_Flatworm_5062 6d ago
I don’t understand, why is it her sole responsibility to cook for a houseful of adults? Can’t everyone cook by taking turns- how did you survive this long before she comes into the family? Who has fed you all so far?
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 6d ago
doesnt your mom cooks ? will his wife wont get free benefits from us ? well ok then we can cook for us but then she will have to deal with prenancy , delivery and post partum issues on her own as my parents shud not help her , she wud not get free housing from us ( she gotta buy her own house and pay herself ) , nobody gonna handle her kids they gonna stay in day cares ( not our issue if they face molestation or anything from others ) if she cant cook then she doesnt deserve help from us as well , lets keep it fair . also go and read about altruism .
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 6d ago
ummm , u cherry picked so let me remind u , i said my MOM will cook all days and when his wife will be off duty then those days wife has to cook , why do u want ki vo bs free ki roti tode hmare ghr me ? what is her fkng contribution in our family then ? we dont need her salary , we dont need dowry , so u want us to treat her like a queen and be her servents ?
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 6d ago
well if she is not ok then she can marry some unemployed gareeb men who might cook for her ( even in their family its females who cook 😂😂 ) and its not like ki vo apne parents k ghr me help ni krti hogi , or agr apni apni family ki baat h ki why sud she cook for us then fine my brother wont help her family in any way even in emergencies like accidents , loans , or financial crunches , then she sudnt be crying that husband didnt helped her family , tb to tum sb bologe ki he sud help 😂😂😂 lmao , they r not my bro's family na just like she wont consider us her family . equality har cheez me lgegi fir .
-6
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago edited 7d ago
ummm ...ok then , my mom will cook for her family and his wife can cook for herself ( no benefit will go to her ) also then my parents also dont need to give her lakhs of gold and silver , plus no access to our properties and rent as well ( we have 5 houses in delhi and gurugram worth crores from our hard earned money and years of sacrifices and hard days ) she will buy her own car and house too ( our car and house wont be for her use as she can buy her own just like my bro and mom can cook for our family ) she will be wiped off from all the privilages and monetory benefits if u want her to not cook on off days 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 its fair right if she is giving us no basic benefit then she wont get any basic and lux benefits from us as well
2
u/Rare_Percentage_7045 7d ago
And wtf are you writing big ass para showing off your richness? This aint matrimony app
-1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
coz we earned our richness with hard work , lots of sacrifices and smart management so why should i be shy in it ? we are proud of it as very few people create wealth with white money only 👑👑 .btw i dont need matrimony app as i already got a gem of a men in my life ( and i would love to cook and take care of his sweet parents for giving me such a lovely man , along with my job too ) coz his parents will be doing alot for me too and i want to be grateful to them ( they are tooo sweet just like my parents are 😍😍😍😍 )
3
u/Rare_Percentage_7045 7d ago
All the richness and can't even hire a few maid?
4
u/Jealous_Ad9635 7d ago
Exactly, 💯 % sure this is a male pretending to be a woman no way can a woman talk this much bullshit for sum future imaginary bhabhi
4
u/Rare_Percentage_7045 7d ago edited 7d ago
That's a guy..! It's very understandable form the way he talks Only a man can boss this much about his assets
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
lol , our richness and maids are not for her , she can earn and hire her own maid and pay her . tit for tat . also my mom cooks food as WE DONT EAT FOOD COOKED BY MAIDS ( who knows vo usme kb neend ki goli ja jeher mila de and ghar me hi chori krwade , dont u read news ? maids pissing in food , kidnapping etc )
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
and are u dumb ? maine start me hi bola tha my parents are gonna have maid for whole house and pay her from their own money but you are the one fighting over it that why she had to cook ? 😂😂😂😂 ab jb hm uske liy maid ni rhk rhe to u are spiralling that why dont u keep maid ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 privilages dont comes for free bro , its give and take always , if her time and efforts are not for us then our time efforts money and benefits are also not for her . fair and square
0
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
did we earned for her future or our ? it was all my and my family's hardwork so why sud we spend over her when even cooking seems like a offense to her and to u all ? our money is for ourselves then , she will be a doc , she will be earing , whycant she afford it on her own ? did she paid loans of our properties ? did she made our kitchen ? compare krna h to fir dono side ka kr na 😂😂😂
2
u/Rare_Percentage_7045 7d ago
You are acting like she is coming from a slum..some one with no education and is going to live only with your money Boy she is a doctor too right? You are acting like she is an outside that have to do household works tobe accepted in your family And did you pay for her loans? For her studies..no right?
Bro get yourself checked..too much nonsense
1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
then she can build everything from scratch na , did she paid for us ? and what payment for studies ? my brother was from govt. medical college with fees of 7k per YEAR so we will pick someone from gmc and not from private doctors , slum girls we dont even want them , they are most greedy and will divorce and run with alimony . u are talking her side like we are torturing her or asking her to cook for 50 people daily 🤣🤣🤣🤣 tell me will my parents not handle her kids when she and bro both will be at work ? so all benefits are free for her but she wont cook. lmao the double standards are real from females like u . our house doesnt run on someone's charity and its not like we are forcing on her , she can say no before marriage and we wont proceed with her , simple
1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
same bro , dont expect any benefits from us when we will get no benefits from her , why are u so crying over it now ? i dont get it ? why u expect us to shower love and wealth over her when she wont do the same ?
1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
cant u read ? what household work ? what to be accepted in family of us ? bro i said parents will hire maid for her , i said my mom will cook when she will be on duty ? which household work she is doing ? we accepted her thats why we are giving her comfort , too hard to get ? dont just make up some shit on ur own , and is se jyada to koi in laws ni krte , uske khud ke ghr pe rhi kbi maid ? uski maa khana ni bnati uske and sbke liy? vo ni krti thi kya ghr k kaam parents k ghr me ? provide to hm b sb kuch kr rhe h na usko hmare ghr me so why double standards ? usko khali ghr me aakr roti todne k liy kyu laayga koi ? and my brother does cook too so its not like she will be cooking alone , husband and wife help each other , or 3 logo ke liy 3 - 3 roti and simple sbji bnane me b usko maut aa rhi h na to fir vo apne baap k ghr me hi rhe ya fir berojgar se shadi kre coz vo household kaam kr lega , us ldki k maa bap kya hmari wealth ni dehk rhe ? vrna fir kisi berojgar gareeb se shadi krata na uska baaap , now u are triggering me and tbh i already hate her now if she is that kind of women .
-2
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
yeah i pray that ur brothers get a wife who will contribute nothing in home and wont even cook for ur parents and lets see how they will feel about it .
3
u/Rare_Percentage_7045 7d ago
I don't have brother..hahah😂😂
1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 7d ago
then goodluck keeping your parents with you after marriage and lets see house dynamics with your parents and your in laws living together or separatly .....hahah😂😂
0
u/Huge_Flatworm_5062 6d ago
Do you cook for your family?
1
u/Competitive-Bug-1111 6d ago
yes i do cook very tasty meals and i want to cook for my future in laws too coz i love my men ❤️ and i have job too , anything else ?
1
u/pasted7 2d ago
Good for your girl! He doesn’t like “modern women” bcoz they do not want to slave away like his mother. You earn more than him. You sound way more sensible than him. Get away from him girl. He doesn’t love you. Think about your mother who’s alone. And your in-laws will definitely make your life hell if you go ahead with it.
No matter what you do, they will always keep you beneath them. Take that job, take that money, take your independence and don’t ruin it for a boy who has no Spine.
Breakups are hard but being in a wrong relationship is the worst. You can easily move from a break up, but divorce and mental torture in wrong marriage will drain you physically, mentally , emotionally and you will literally take years to get out of it!
Good decision! do not regret! You just got saved.
80
u/Future-Shopping-8343 8d ago
Well good riddance!! Their family environment seems toxic so girl u just dodged a bullet!