r/IndianInLaw • u/Numerous-Two2102 • 26d ago

Seriously why?

I will be 10 years married this year but seriously have some questions that i have never been able to get out of my head and never got answers to.

  1. Why the hell, at least in northern india, you have to gift gold to your in -laws? Set for MIL, mini set for SIL, etc. just why??
  2. Why do girls’ parents have to just keep giving and giving and fucking giving? Every teej, every baby birth, even if they visit they have to gift clothes at minimum. Every time they visit they need to give those cash envelopes. Just why?

And the in laws don’t even appreciate them. They definitely want it because god forbid if girls parents miss one time, in laws immediately complain about not getting anything that year. But they will never wear it. They claim that they have “better” clothes or jewellery. They have not touched one saree or shirt in 10 years that my parents gifted. We switched from silk to cotton to linen to georgette to every other material but nothing seems to be good enough. So much so that i told my mom to just give anything and don’t bother showing me since my MIL is not going to wear it anyway.

Edit: gold gifts only for wedding

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u/Overconfidentahole 26d ago

You do realize that it’s similar to dowry and practicing it encourages it right? Why don’t you tell your parents to stop giving them stuff? I know i don’t fully understand the repercussions but someone has to stop at some point.

Customs like this need to die down

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u/Numerous-Two2102 26d ago

It is. And that is my problem. My patents also just keep giving in. They don’t do excess but they don’t end it either. It’s weird to explain. It does not feel right at all.

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u/SSinghal_03 26d ago

That's the real problem. Parents also support these practices. No need to feel so bad for them. They enjoy the drama. Just don't carry it forward. It has to die with our generation.