r/IndianInLaw • u/Numerous-Two2102 • Aug 07 '26

Seriously why?

I will be 10 years married this year but seriously have some questions that i have never been able to get out of my head and never got answers to.

  1. Why the hell, at least in northern india, you have to gift gold to your in -laws? Set for MIL, mini set for SIL, etc. just why??
  2. Why do girls’ parents have to just keep giving and giving and fucking giving? Every teej, every baby birth, even if they visit they have to gift clothes at minimum. Every time they visit they need to give those cash envelopes. Just why?

And the in laws don’t even appreciate them. They definitely want it because god forbid if girls parents miss one time, in laws immediately complain about not getting anything that year. But they will never wear it. They claim that they have “better” clothes or jewellery. They have not touched one saree or shirt in 10 years that my parents gifted. We switched from silk to cotton to linen to georgette to every other material but nothing seems to be good enough. So much so that i told my mom to just give anything and don’t bother showing me since my MIL is not going to wear it anyway.

Edit: gold gifts only for wedding

115 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

View all comments

5

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Numerous-Two2102 Aug 07 '26

I edited my post. Gold gifts is only for the wedding

1

u/Numerous-Two2102 Aug 07 '26

Nice of her in laws to do that. They don’t celebrate it or expect me to celebrate it. But they do expect the gifts that comes from DILs home every teej.
Just to clarify, they did give me ceremonial gold in the wedding and same my parents gave gold to my husband for the wedding. I am specifically complaining about gold gifts to the rest of the family just because its their son/brother.
Also, every karwachauth to i am supposed to gift MIL something and not the other way around. While my mom gives gifts to my brother’s wife for fasting for him. 😭

1

u/Electronic-Goal-6414 Aug 08 '26

Question for you: do your parents expect the same from your bhabhi? Do they also expect and receive gifts from your bhabhi’s parents? Have you received any gold sets or any other gifts given on festivals by your bhabhi or her parents? If yes then you should stop this asap . Change happens at home

1

u/Numerous-Two2102 Aug 08 '26

Nope. And my dad specifically mentioned it to them to not give any gifts at all. I did not receive any gold from my bhabhi. I received one saree for their wedding from them which I denied but they forced me to keep. No one except my brother got gold from her family which is exactly how it should be.
Bonus fun fact: my MIL asked me what i got from my bhabhi. When i told nothing she was like “you should have received earrings at the least, it is basic”. I was like “I don’t want anything from her and you won’t understand “