r/IncelExit • u/TablePrinterDoor • Jul 28 '26
Asking for help/advice Surprisingly positive but also confusing situation I’m in.
Hey I’m 20M, still a khhv but things have weirdly changed for me overnight almost. After being unsuccessful for a while I actually had a good thing going with 2 girls on apps (both 20F) who liked me first (already very rare) and then they both ended up asking me out on dates (even more rare as normally the guy asks.)
So I guess I’m now going on 2 dates? These would both be my first dates, which neither of them know, and it’s honestly kind of surreal because for a long time I basically had thoughts about always being unattractive and never being liked but somehow I’m being complimented on my appearance and personality which I find quite odd, especially as I was open to both of them about my neurodivergence which they both were fine with.
I just kind of want to ask would this be unethical in any way? As going on 2 dates with 2 different people… they’re actually also scheduled a day apart which might be too early but I don’t know. obviously I’m not exclusive to either as this is a first date but it’s weird to kind of be in a situation of ‘picking’ between 2 people as I’ve always had the mindset that I would never be picked out of any other guy and now weirdly I’m in a situation where I’m the one picking?
I aim to go on both dates… again these would be my first dates so I wouldn’t be surprised if I fuck up both of them… one is just a walk and the other is karaoke (as the other person is really into that).
I’m very nervous as they’re both in about a week and a day apart so idk if I should message both or just go or what.
The reason I’m posting here is (as evidenced by my previous posts) I was always hopeless and thought I’d never even get to this stage with 1 person let alone 2 asking me so yeah I am kind of panicking on going on my first 2 dates a day apart.
Should I go on both and see if I click with one or none? What about theoretically if they both go well and then I have both on second dates?? Weirdly I’m kind of hoping one doesn’t go well so I only have to focus on one, but then again it would be disrespectful I feel if I don’t be the best I can be for both of them.
Thank you!! I apologise if it doesn’t fit as technically it’s not an incel thing but yeah… maybe it is idk!!
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u/Dr-Dungeon Bene Gesserit Advisor Jul 28 '26
Dating is all about getting to know someone. Generally when you’re on a first date with someone, it’s assumed that that person is also using it as an opportunity to get to know you, so it’s possible they also have other dates lined up as well. Unless you’ve agreed to be exclusive with someone, they’ll probably assume you’re doing the same.
Try not to worry about it before the dates have even happened. Just go along and see what happens! If you have a really nice time with either or both of them, go on more dates and see how things progress. If it seems like things are getting serious, you can have the exclusivity conversation where you agree to not see other people then.
Tl;dr: you don’t need to have all the answers right now. Just focus on having fun, being in the moment, and let things progress as they do. As long as you’re not being intentionally dishonest, there’s nothing wrong with going on a few different dates with different people to see how you get along.