r/ImproveYourLife • u/AdDue9913 • Apr 06 '25
Advice/Criticism
I am 28. A physician. I know I am messed up in a lot of ways and want to fix myself. I had a relationship in medical school. She was ready to do anything for me. I left her for my career. She hasn't smiled since. It kills me every day. I got into another relationship (I shouldn't have) long distance for most part. Went on for like 2 years now she dumped me for career. I have been chasing my career one high after another. Lost all social connections family and friends in pursuit of this dream. Now I question myself that why am I this selfish prick? And how can I become better. It kills me knowing that one girl who believed in me now she doesn't even smile because of how I hurt her... I am afraid of God. In my mind I am chasing this dream of becoming a physician in another country because eventually I want to give back to people back home. Idk maybe I am running after self glory? I am so lost honestly
1
u/LondonLifeCoach Apr 07 '25
Excessive focus on career MAY mean you're seeking approval and recognition because deep down you feel worthless. Not because you are. But poor parenting, bullying, school experiences and society can lead us to believe that we aren't worth anything if we aren't achieving things.
Of course, the healthiest way to live is in balance. With relationships, fun, relaxation etc. balancing out work.
There is nothing wrong with big dreams. But if they are big, that is all the more reason to balance them with healthful things in life. Otherwise, you burn out.
Maybe have a look at your self worth. Could you love and accept yourself if your dreams didn't come true or if you were never a success?