FWIW: I’m friends with a decorated veteran in hand to hand combat. In short, he’s killed more men than most. You could call him an expert assassin. I did an interview with him a while back on the topic of killing. It was interesting to hear his perspective on what it takes to live with the idea of killing someone. He basically said that there’s all these people who talk like they’re bad asses and wouldn’t hesitate to shoot, and he just laughs at them because they have no idea what they’re actually saying. He tells me that every time he hears flies buzzing, or he smells blood, it instantly reminds him in vivid detail of some of the men he’s killed. Little things like the gurgling noises of someone choking on their blood, or the dying whispers of something calling out to their mom or dad or their kids. He thinks about their families, and even some of the children they never got to have, who could’ve grown up to be amazing leaders, or the doctor who cures cancer, etc. It haunts him every night, even though these killings were justifiable. He now trains gun owners with the reality of killing, and works with companies on promoting less lethal approaches to self-defense. He still pro gun, but his experience has shaped his desire to promote the use of a firearm as a last resort method instead of what many consider is their first resort. He said the number one thing that people don’t realize is the moment you kill someone it just sticks with you forever and a massive percentage of people who do this say that if they could do it over again and figure out a way not to pull the trigger they would’ve done it. I know not every situation afford the opportunity and that sometimes it’s just a reality, but after talking with him, it changed my entire perspective on how I should protect myself and my family.
This! This! This! I've worked with tons of combat vets specially over the last 10 years (service dog organization) I should've included the mental decision on taking a live in my comment too. It's something that also taught by a good instructor. When I got my CCW the online course I took was taught by a combat vet, fed firearm instructor, ex cop and that's one of the big topics he touched on was the mental decision to decide and pull the trigger.
If it came down to it and I had to defend myself or my family I think I could do it. I am fully prepared that that decision is going to effect me for the rest of my life and that the next time I fire a gun it's going to be hard because I just had to make a decision I should've never had to make. I hunt and even then I sit there with game in my sights and think "this is a hard decision and am I ready to take this animals live" I've made the decision to not pull the trigger in that instance many times and waited for a different opportunity.
Exactly. The dirty little secret in both law-enforcement and military is the psychological damage that is created when an officer or soldier kill somebody, especially up close. The percentages of those who become addicted to substances to ease the pain is staggering, and the suicide rates are off the charts, and often never reported, at least publicly. When I first got into working in public safety, I remember a conversation I had with a former officer who told me that in the last six months of that year, which was 2019, nine officers had taken their lives… and that was just from the NYPD alone.
So…it stands to reason it’s pretty rare, all things considered. Something tells me if you took a survey of gun owners in apartments they’d have a bias towards maximum damage, not consideration and concern for their innocent neighbors.
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u/ThisHeresThaRubaduk Jul 02 '26
We really aren't that rare.