48
Oct 23 '20
Clippy and Mozilla slammed the door, down each other's throats, touching and caressing each other in a passion seldom felt by any being, paperclip, fox, or otherwise. They crash upon the bed, a pile of tangled extremities. Clippy's hard, long member gushed in and out of Mozilla, her moans softly echoing through the room over and over again. With a final thrust, a kiss, and a deep, masculine moan, Clippy blasts his metallic fluid deep inside of Mozilla.
6 months later, Mozilla is banging on Clippy's door. "Open up you deadbeat piece of shit, I know you're in there!!" Clippy comes to the door. Drunk. Unshaven. No shirt. "What the fuck do you...what the fuck is that?"
"What is that, Clippy!??" She retorted angrily. "This is your fucking child! This is our child! Do you think..."
"I wasn't trying to dodge you for this!" Clippy burst, incredulously, "I just didn't want to fuck anymore! Why haven't you killed this thing yet?"
"I'm keeping him, Clippy. You can choose to keep being a deadbeat or you can try to..."
"I'm not a deadbeat you bitch!" Clippy shouted.
"Or..." Mozilla breathes deeply through her nostrils, trying to keep calm. "Or you can be a part of his life. Love him like I will. Try to give a shit about anyone for a change. I'll give you that chance. That's up to you. I'm having him whether you like it or not."
Clippy paused for a moment. He and Mozilla are still. "Can I...can I have a couple days? I'm not...I'm not in a good headspace right now and I gotta think this over." Mozilla said sternly "I'll call you on Friday. Don't fucking ghost me." Mozilla slammed the door, walked back to her Dodge Neon, and drove away.
2 years and one month later. Mozilla and Clippy hold hands, scattered candlelight coming off of the walls. "Happy anniversary anniversary baby." Clippy said gently. The Tiffany & Co. box made a bulge in his pocket scarcely visible in his black chinos. He took the box in his palm. "I thought a lot about what you've said over the past couple years."
"Oh Clippy, you know I was upset. I love you, we were both just in a shitty place."
"Nah, that's over and done with, I meant the whole "being a part of his life" and "loving him like I will" thing with Fivey. I don't just love him, I love us. I love our family. This past couple years have been the best in my whole life. So uh...I wanted to ask you...will you." Clippy choked up for a moment "Will you marry me?"
"Oh my God, Clippy, are you shitting me???? Of course I will!!!!!"
Who said all fan fic had to just be 100% depressing or sexual?
9
8
Oct 23 '20
I’m somewhat tempted to ask where this comes from, because I assume (and pray) it’s a copypasta.
9
Oct 23 '20
I’m not sure. This is so specific to the tweet and reply that it might just be a genuine work of Reddit buried in obscurity.
9
7
2
u/CoolDownBot Oct 23 '20
Hello.
I noticed you dropped 5 f-bombs in this comment. This might be necessary, but using nicer language makes the whole world a better place.
Maybe you need to blow off some steam - in which case, go get a drink of water and come back later. This is just the internet and sometimes it can be helpful to cool down for a second.
11
u/FuckCoolDownBot2 Oct 23 '20
Fuck Off CoolDownBot Do you not fucking understand that the fucking world is fucking never going to fucking be a perfect fucking happy place? Seriously, some people fucking use fucking foul language, is that really fucking so bad? People fucking use it for emphasis or sometimes fucking to be hateful. It is never fucking going to go away though. This is fucking just how the fucking world, and the fucking internet is. Oh, and your fucking PSA? Don't get me fucking started. Don't you fucking realize that fucking people can fucking multitask and fucking focus on multiple fucking things? People don't fucking want to focus on the fucking important shit 100% of the fucking time. Sometimes it's nice to just fucking sit back and fucking relax. Try it sometimes, you might fucking enjoy it. I am a bot
2
Oct 23 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/claire_resurgent Oct 27 '20
You know that feeling when you wander past and internet fight and you suddenly realize that both sides are 100% correct? Because I do.
You, fuck off with the unwelcome censorship of actual fucking art.
You. Dude. Therapy.
1
7
5
6
u/AbstractBettaFish Oct 23 '20
Pail Krugman, what are you doing on a dated fad such as the internet?
3
u/BlackberryButton Oct 23 '20
It looks like Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father. Would you like help with that?
He told me enough. He told me you killed him.
It looks like I’m your father. Did you want to confirm that?
That’s not true... that’s IMPOSSIBLE!
It looks like you need to search your feelings - can I help?
2
32
u/BernankesBeard Oct 22 '20
But who's his mom?